Invitation Etiquette?

kerrykolster

Hey everybody,

I am getting ready to order my invitations and my sister (the "Wediquette" expert) and I are at odds.

My fiance and I moved in together once we got engaged. This is my second marriage, so my parents are not helping out financially. So basically, we are hosting everything.

On the response card envelopes, I have the name/address as my fiance and myself and our address. My sister says that this is tacky and that I should have the RSVPs sent to my parents.

I understand what she is saying, but since we are hosting, isn't it okay to have them sent to us? All of this etiquette stuff is so confusing!!

Thank you!
Kerry

squirrly

If your name is first on the invite, then they should go to you.  That should also be the return address for the invitation.

MyNameIsNot

Traditionally, the RSVPs went to the bride's parents b/c traditionally, they were hosting.  If you are hosting yourself, they should go to you.

This is one of those things where there is a proper way to do it, but if you don't do it right, it isn't tacky. 

danieliza1127

What your sister is telling you is super old school, from the time when the bride's parents hosted the wedding.  If you are hosting the wedding and you are the one keeping track of the responses, just have them sent directly to yourself. 

aerinpegadrak

Think about it logistically: If your parents aren't managing the guest list, why would they need to know who's coming and who isn't?  That's information YOU need, the RSVPs should go to you.

Most wedding invitations I see have the return address on the back flap with no names; that might silence your sister's fears of it being "tacky."

kikibird

You could, like pp said, just put the address with no names.  I've also heard that only the bride's name should go on the envelope, not both (a more traditional approach).

But you're the hosts, so the address should definitely be yours.

cukimerrydoll

I agree with basically everyone... it should go to you.

If not for the hosting reason, for the planning reason.  If you are planning it yourself, they should come to you, that way, you won't have to constantly badger your parents for an update on RSVPs.