I'll try to keep this as short as possible. My fiance and I have been engaged 9 months now, and our wedding is 9 months from now. We made an early guest list so we could decide on a venue, based on capacity. We asked both sets of parents for numbers at least 6 months ago before making our decisions and deposits. Both sets complied. We settled on a guest list of 200, with a little wiggle room.
We sent out STDs 3-4 months ago, since our wedding will be on a holiday weekend, with a fair number of OOTs, that we can safely assume will attend (close family members). Before sending them out, we again asked both sets of parents for their guest contributions and lists. Both complied, but FMIL said she may want to add more later. We encouraged her to get them to us asap, for venue capacity concerns, before sending STDs. We reminded her once a week for several weeks, and she never got them to us, so we finally gave her notice that we were sending them, and did so.
My fiance and I, along with my parents, are paying for the entirety of the wedding. FI's parents offered, but we declined since we did not need it.
FMIL finally just gave us a list of 36 additional guests that she says MUST be invited, because they are extended family members and will feel left out if they don't get invited. FI immediately protested that we asked her for this list several times when we made our venue and STD decisions, and it was too late to add so many. We can safely add about 6 more, but she refuses to prioritize them, because she is promising that most of them will NOT SHOW.
This really bothers me. I don't know these people, and I have no idea if they will or will not show. I do NOT want to invite more people than our venue can hold. I also don't want to pay for 36 additional invitations for guests that we have no intention of actually inviting haha. However, I love FI's family, despite this little issue, and I want to work with them and make them happy. What to do?!