Wedding Invitations & Paper

"Plus One" Right???

Why, oh why do my single friends assume I am inviting them and a Plus One???? Nowhere on the invite did I say that! Add ons are driving me crazy! Anyone else having this problem? We just added my FI's cuz who is moving to town. I feel bridezilla coming on.

Re: "Plus One" Right???

  • My fiance and I just had this discussion over a few of my friends tonight.  A few of my single friends are not dating anyone and I think want to come and just have fun together.  My fiance thought we should invite them with a guest so I decided to add guest.  If they don't bring someone, then that is fine too.  It is nice to have that option.  I know when I was single I was still glad to have that option.  THe plus ones made my guest list much longer but it is something you have to do I guess.  I have read in some wedding books that if the person is not in a relationship or actively dating then you don't have to invite them with a guest. 
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  • Did you already send the invites out without and guest and you are getting reply cards back with a guest included?  Or just through conversation you think they are expecting to get a guest?  FI and I had trouble deciding on this as well, but decided to give everyone a guest.  I always loved getting "and guest" invites when I was single.  But it definitely can jack your costs way up. 

    If you have not yet sent the invites out just make sure you address the invite to just the person, and maybe you can word your response card so that it is clear its only for 1 person.  If you have already sent them out and are getting them back with uninvited additions  on there, then you need to make a decision of either letting it go and adding these people to the guest list, or making phone calls saying "I'm sorry for the confusion but we were not able to invite any additional guests" or something similar. 

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  • I have no idea.  I have never heard of this in real life.  Maybe it's a regional thing, but here, weddings are for close friends and family, and no one would consider inviting their date-of-the-moment to a really long night of family stories and family reunion-style stuff.
  • Are they adding random dates or did you happen to exclude a few SOs?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_plus-one-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:ea83e5f6-9c64-40be-95dc-648a31bd1479Post:526bc426-53a4-4e7b-9fbe-c6a8a776dd27">Re: "Plus One" Right???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have heard so many things on this. Like if they have been with the person for 6mos, then invite them. I am not sure if there is etiquette, persay on this one, so I would just do what you think is best. You know your family and friends. You are not obligated to invite girlfriends or boyfriends or SO's, I think it is just nice if you do so. It depends on your budget and if you allowed for extra people to feed, etc.
    Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

    People in serious relationships are part of a social unit.  It's rude to invite only haf of that unit.

    That said, you don't need to invite randoms - but if the person is in a relationship then you need to honor that relationship
  • A friend of mine getting married is on a very strict guest list, using ONLY the people they invited. One couple added their daughter on the guest list without asking. They ended up having the brides sister call and politely explain that they cannot add additional guests and the couple was furious. It turns out to be a very funny story but the couple ended up deciding they would not come to the wedding if their daughter couldn't come too.

    Guess if you turn into bridezilla you have to figure out how far you want to go! :)

  • amlowamlow member
    First Comment
    The invites are all out, the plus one comments were after they had already RSVP'd for themselves. The deadline for the RSVP's was the 15th. My frustration is also due to my FI asking me the other night-what's the big deal? So, they can just come to the party, right? The venue is a wonderful B&B, comfortable for 50, not 100. 35 days to go! Trying so hard to keep Brizilla at bay!
  • You are in a tough situation.  But I think the intimate setting for your wedding gives you a good explanation to them.  If they have added an SO then maybe you want to let them come, if its only a few of them.  But if they are adding randoms just to bring a date, I would call and say I'm really sorry but because of the very small size of our venue we are limited to a certain head count and were not able to include additional guests.  Given that you have a small venue its a perfect reason, as compared to a big ballroom that holds 500.  Good luck!

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  • amlowamlow member
    First Comment

    Now I am regretting not having a bridesmaid to help with all this planning. My mom passed away several years ago and I have some help from my married girl friends reminding me what I need to get done, but mostly on my own here. I was under the misguided idea this was going to be a "small and sweet" wedding. It has become "The Event of the Decade" for both our families and friends. My FI's been working through midterms and it's getting to be crunch time.  I am just feeling the pressure.

  • amlowamlow member
    First Comment

    My FI's cuz just moved to town, I made an exeption to add him. When he asked about a +1, I told him sorry. However, he has 31 days to find the love of his life and I would save her a place setting.

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