Wedding Invitations & Paper

MOH asking help for sister

     I am looking for help for my poor sister who is already having serious MIL control problems.  The invitations need to go out by Monday, and my sister is in a panic and all stressed out because of the wording. (Future MIL has already made her cry over it)  Both sets of parents are contributing some money, however the groom's parents are paying quite a bit more, basically for most of the reception (their choice), and because of this have been adament that the only parents listed at the top of invitation should be them.  Exact quote was "The parents who pay the most get put on top of invite". 

      Our parents are giving what they can, they are divorced.  Sister's fiance is backing his mom on this and my sister doesn't know what to do.  I think this is insulting towards our family.  Any thoughts that I can pass on to her would be great.  I have been researching this and can't find anything that breaks down an invitation by who pays the most.   Thanks! 

Re: MOH asking help for sister

  • If I were your sister I'd say, "Honey, hosting isn't about paying.  It's about making sure that the guests are comfortable.  Let's make sure we get your parents a large gift thanking them for how much they're doing.  In the meantime, we need to list BOTH parents on the invitation as it's only fair.  The bride's parents are appropriately listed first and of course we don't need the invitation to read as a "how much people paid" benefactor contributor list, right?"

    And if he's stuck on this, I'd be stuck on declining the whole [email protected] thing.   Then again, I'm not a fan of people pushing me around with their money.  
  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2011
    Are your parents offended by letting the groom's parents be listed on top?  Or do you just think they should be offended?  If your parent's don't care who is listed where, I'd let it go.  But, if your parents are offended, there are a couple of options.

    Your sister should try and go with the neutral "together with their parents" route. 

    Together with their parents

    Your Sister
    Sister's FI

    request the honor of your presence
    at their wedding

    However, if the parents all want to be named, perhaps putting everyone at the top of the invitation could suffice.

    Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents
    Mrs. Bride's Mom (Mrs. if she's remarried, Ms. if she's not)
    Mr. Bride's Dad

    request the honor of your presence
    at the marriage of their children

    Your Sister
    Your Sister's FI
  • As much as I dislike "together with their families (or parents), I think in this case it is the way to go
  • I think Oot is right, but I'm not sure that the groom's parents are going to go with that if they are so insistent on the names appearing at the top. I think they are being really petty - it's not like your parents have washed their hands of the whole affair and aren't involved at all.

    Oh and also - if she does give in - the proper wording is:

    Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents 
    request the honor of your presence
    at the marriage of 
    Miss Bride Last
    to their son
    Mr. Groom Last

    It's not the reverse of the traditional wording. The bride still is listed first.

  • If both parents are contrivuting, I think both should go on the invitation.
  • What banana said, 100%.  Honestly, if FI's parents continued to insist in this "distinction" due to their contribution, I would thank them for the gesture and let them know we would not be accepting their gift.  I'd rather do a simpler reception my way, respectful of both families, than something more lavish made for one party to obsess about 'credit' and attention.
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