Thoughts & Opinions On Favors Please

Carson386

I have thought about doing a donation to the American Cancer Society instead of doing actual favors at the wedding. Basically, I will set aside a certain amount of money, and place cards at each table stating that instead of favors, we made a donation to the American Cancer Society which is a near and dear organization to us. I'm also torn between if I should donate to the Cancer Society, or to a local hospital that is doing cancer research all the time (as well as taking care of 2 of my young family members). Thoughts & opinions please?

aprahamian2

I recommend reading the sticky on the Favors board if you haven't seen that yet. I think it is a nice thing for you to do, especially since the cause is close to your heart.

Carson386

Thanks! I looked around and didn't see a favors board before I posted this, I must have looked over it because when you mentioned that I went back through and found it.

MamaBear904

I think that is a very sweet gesture. Do you have a registry link on your wedding website? You may also want to put a link there too if you're open to it.

pittpoint1119

I love that idea. I am actually playing around with it since FI and I both lost our grandmothers to cancer!

sbc2013

I'm going to go ahead and agree with the PP who said to read the sticky on the favors board. I am one of those people that would be offended if you told me you donated "in my honor" to an organization that I oppose--not that I necessarily oppose the American Cancer Society, but in general, I am just one of those people that will read up on exactly how donations are split up in an organization to make sure there isn't anything fishy going on. Having said that, I would not be even remotely offended if you chose to donate in lieu of favors, didn't call the donation a favor, and didn't put out little cards at each seat saying this is what you did (a larger sign at something like the gift or cake table would be fine, IMO). I think donating to a cause you believe in is great, but I don't think it needs to be associated with giving your guests a favor. Sure, favors are nice, but they are ultimately unnecessary--if you wanted to do a donation instead, I wouldn't side-eye you, and I wouldn't think, "But where my favor?!" either.

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_thoughts-opinions-on-favors-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:08a970db-b892-4a85-840b-2fb18a4f7a90Post:5672628f-be99-4413-9121-b3a446e0d9a0">Re: Thoughts & Opinions On Favors Please</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to go ahead and agree with the PP who said to read the sticky on the favors board.<strong> I am one of those people that would be offended if you told me you donated "in my honor" to an organization that I oppose</strong>--not that I necessarily oppose the American Cancer Society, but in general, I am just one of those people that will read up on exactly how donations are split up in an organization to make sure there isn't anything fishy going on. Having said that, I would not be even remotely offended if you chose to donate in lieu of favors, didn't call the donation a favor, and didn't put out little cards at each seat saying this is what you did (a larger sign at something like the gift or cake table would be fine, IMO). I think donating to a cause you believe in is great, but I don't think it needs to be associated with giving your guests a favor. Sure, favors are nice, but they are ultimately unnecessary--if you wanted to do a donation instead, I wouldn't side-eye you, and I wouldn't think, "But where my favor?!" either.
Posted by sbc2013[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree.  I think favors are kind of waste in general- they're something for children's birthday parties and are unnecessary at weddings.  If you wish to donate to a charity of your choice, go for it, but I wouldn't tell people it was instead of a favor.  I often think favors are just a way of showing off... Just my two cents.

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Carson386

I wouldn't want anything to say instead of a favor, or make it in our guests name, I don't want to offend anyone. I've seen it set up as "in lieu of favors..." I'm not really sure at this point. My idea is pretty much shot down I guess. I did a little research and it's "rude" to not give a favor and "rude" if you don't give one and spend money on a donation instead.

sbc2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_thoughts-opinions-on-favors-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:08a970db-b892-4a85-840b-2fb18a4f7a90Post:d6774d56-4b2c-432c-b799-ab22111355a7">Re: Thoughts & Opinions On Favors Please</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't want anything to say instead of a favor, or make it in our guests name, I don't want to offend anyone. I've seen it set up as "in lieu of favors..." I'm not really sure at this point. My idea is pretty much shot down I guess. I did a little research and <strong>it's "rude" to not give a favor </strong>and "rude" if you don't give one and spend money on a donation instead.
Posted by Carson386[/QUOTE]

<div>Where did you read/hear this part? The reception is considered a thank-you to your guests for attending/witnessing your ceremony, and to me, that is like a really large favor. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not giving a favor! And, like I said above, I wouldn't be offended if you didn't give a favor and decided to use the money to make the donation you wanted. I just don't like the "in your honor" part or the attention-seeking (IMO) little signs at <em>every</em> place setting. As your guest, I would never ask you "Hey, where are the favors?" but if someone happened to be tacky enough to say something, you could say, "We actually decided to donate to ___ in lieu of favors. It's an organization close to our hearts."</div>

Kindachewy

  I may have just he thing for you! We are doing a donation to the American Red Cross and also giving a heart sugar cookie. I didn't just want to do a note that said we donated, but I didnt want to spend money instead of donating either, this way people do get a favor, but I also get to spread the word about my charity of choice

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_thoughts-opinions-on-favors-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:08a970db-b892-4a85-840b-2fb18a4f7a90Post:d6774d56-4b2c-432c-b799-ab22111355a7">Re: Thoughts & Opinions On Favors Please</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't want anything to say instead of a favor, or make it in our guests name, I don't want to offend anyone. I've seen it set up as "in lieu of favors..." I'm not really sure at this point. My idea is pretty much shot down I guess.<strong> I did a little research and it's "rude" to not give a favor</strong> and "rude" if you don't give one and spend money on a donation instead.
Posted by Carson386[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Totally untrue.  I think you probably found this from some type of wedding industry person.  Emily Post says favors are not needed, but you can do one if you want to.  Miss Manners actually frowns on giving favors- she thinks that confuses weddings with single digit birthday parties.

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Carson386

Thanks everyone for your input! I really do appreciate it. I'll have to think it over and see what our families think of everything but, I'm leaning towards donating in lieu of favors and not in anyone's names.

I really don't like the idea of wedding favors, I think they are over priced and nobody remembers them anyways.

bhalpin39

I have opted instead of a registry I am doing donations to VFW or Wounded Warrior Project. And as far as doing the favors, I am doing wine glasses for my guests, They will have our name and wedding date etched in them. Something simple.