I'll try to make this as concise as possible!
My FI and I used to work for the same company under the same boss. It was a small office, only 7 of us total, we were all around the same age (mid-20s, early-30s), and everyone was really friendly and hung out outside of work. Our boss was an older guy (60s) that came out of retirement to help the office when the previous boss left. Since the beginning, it was pretty obvious that he saw us, this group of young professionals, as the "kids" of our office "family" and himself as the father figure. This posed some issues in the office when it came to power dynamics and his first instinct was to protect us rather than let us possibly fail. He was very excited when Paul & I got engaged and always remembered birthdays and special events.
Last fall, we lost a huge contract and our parent company decided to close the office. My FI and I both found great new jobs at separate companies and the office ultimately closed in January. Since then, we've all managed to keep in touch and stay friends despite moving on professionally. My former boss even remembered my birthday in March and sent me a long text wishing me a great day.
Yesterday, I hung out with a former co-worker who told me my former boss is very excited about our wedding and hopes he gets an invitation! He's a very nice person but I'm not sure I want my former boss to be a witness to something as intimate and personal as our wedding. He may see himself as a father figure, but I see him as a nice guy who was incompetent at his job and therefore made mine a heck of a lot more stressful.
Etiquette wise, do I have to invite him if I plan on inviting all of my former coworkers/friends? I can't just blow him off because I'll need him to vouch for me when I get a professional certification down the road. Plus, we are inviting another former boss who may end up being my boss again in the near future (that's a whooole other post).
I want all my guests to have a great time and I'm worried his presence will make my former coworkers feel like they can't kick back and let loose! But it kills me to think of him feeling discarded and left out when he obviously cared about us.
What should we do?
