May 2012 Weddings

FMIL Vent

So I figured finding my mom something to wear to the wedding would be difficult but it was easy compared to FMIL. At first she wanted to wear the same thing that she wore to FBIL's wedding just months ago. Finally FSIL and I talked her out of that one by compromising that as long as she got a new shirt she could still wear the same pants and shoes.

We have waited till closer to the wedding since her weight goes up and down so much with her doing chemo. SO my weekend is now free since the weather is ruining my bridals this weekend and we had to reschedule them to the original weekend we were going to try to go. And now she says that she wants to wait a MONTH to go shopping and she now needs new pants because hers are too small. Well neither FSIL or I can go then. It will be right at a month before the wedding and I will be swamped and FSIL has school finals shortly after that.

I don't understand why we can't just go now when everyone is free. I understand she thinks she will lose weight before then BUT it's not gonna be enough to truely make a difference. She just goes up and down about 5-10 lbs. So frustrating!!! It's already hard enough because she likes to dress about 15 years older than she really is.

Okay end vent!

Re: FMIL Vent

  • Do you & your FSIL have to go with her? Could she go shopping on her own & pick out her own outfit? I don't plan on going shopping with my mom or FMIL unless they ask me to or need my help/opinion. I wouldn't stress over it too much, either way, she'll get an outfit for your wedding & she'll be there :)

    Also, if she wants to wear the same outfit she wore to your FBIL's wedding, I think that you should let her. Let her wear what she feels the best/most comfortable in.
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  • My FMIL waited until this past weekend to shop for a dress and luckily she found one! She was also waiting until she lost weight, but when that didn't happen she just sucked it up and went. I didn't go with her at all and also didn't really pressure her to go. I did tell her that I asked at the bridal salon where my dress was from to see if it was possible to order a dress and they said no, so she took that as "I better get my butt in gear:"

    I'm wondering why she needs you and FSIL to be there to buy a pair of pants though. If shes getting similar ones that she already has, just in a larger size, can't she go alone on her own time?

    It would be different if it was a dress and she needed opinions but it sounds like she's getting the same pants she has. Also, she doesn't really "need" the pants now, so I really don't think she "needs" to go shopping yet, especially since there won't be alterations or anything.

    I'd just let her shop on her own time!
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  • She isn't supposed to drive herself due to chemo and other issues. She also has 2 broken knees and has a hard time dressing herself. So someone always has to go with her. We really don't care what she gets just as long as she gets something. She refuses to go alone or without us both their since says we know what is more appropriate. We are all for her being comfortable and that is why we don't care what she gets.

    She has a problem with matching things and if we let her pick out something herself she will show up in rainbow stripes and pink polka dots lol. I love her to death and it's really not even about her getting something or what she gets just she needs to do it on our schedule since all she does is sit at home anyway. That's the frustrating part she knows how busy we both are so when we say we can go at this time I would think she would be more than accomodating.
  • EgrauvogEgrauvog member
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
    Both my FMIL and my mom do not have their dresses.  I'm not even worrying about it because I have 10 billion other details to worry about :)
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  • Now I understand better! Yes, then I would be frustrated as well! Hopefully you guys can all figure out another date that works soon :) GL!
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  • RivieraBoundRivieraBound member
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_fmil-vent-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:24cc1122-094f-41d3-a81d-1151121a6a60Post:cd647155-c420-4fce-9132-7bc153b15db6">Re: FMIL Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, if she wants to wear the same outfit she wore to your FBIL's wedding, I think that you should let her. Let her wear what she feels the best/most comfortable in.
    Posted by dori851[/QUOTE]
    I agree with this. 

    I have a similar thing going on with my own mother for my step sister's wedding.  My mom is handicapped and cannot go shopping alone, not to mention she is on disability and a strict budget.  She had a dress already that she was planning to wear, but since it is too close in color to the groom's mother's dress, the bride is asking her to spend more money and time (as well as mine since I will probably be the one to take her) to find something else.  I mean who gives a crap she is the step mother of the bride its not like she plays a big role or anything.  It chaps my asss actually.
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  • Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about this. It seems she would rather wait till closer to the wedding due to her fluctuating weight. 
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  • I say let her wear what she is comfortable in, even if she's already worn it..
    and it'll make it easier for you guys if you have to drive her! :)
    (and none of the mothers in our wedding have their dresses yet either, but they are grown women and I have enough things to stress about.. I trust that they can make that decision)

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  • edited April 2012
    FMIL went shopping with a friend and bought a lovely dress.

    Good luck.
  • I would try not to worry too much about it. I just found out that my FMIL apparently wanted to wear the same color dress as my mother, and is mad because my mother ordered her dress in November and she has yet to look for one. So, she has to get another color, oh well, ya can't please everyone.
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