Tricky relationship

audreyjem

I've been pondering over this situation for a while, and thought maybe you ladies could help me out.

I went through RCIA to become Catholic last year, and started about a year and a half ago. When I had to pick a sponsor (basically a godmother but for an adult going through confirmation), I chose the person who's faith I admired the most- my ex's cousin (not an ex at the time).

Flash-forward to wedding planning and guest list, and I'm not sure what to do about including her. She's a good friend, we don't see each other that often, I'd say about once every other month or so, but we keep in touch, and I'm pretty sure she's in contact with me more than her cousin. She was thrilled for me when I started dating FI, and excited when we got engaged. They haven't met yet, but just because of how infrequently we see each other.

Since we're having a Catholic ceremony and she's essentially my godmother, I'd love to have her do a reading, or participate in some way, but I don't want to ask her if it will put her in an awkward situation. I'm definitely inviting her, and it will be up to her if she feels comfortable with attending. The other awkwardness is that she doesn't know any of my friends, so even attending the wedding could be a little lonely for her (and her plus one).

What do you think?

Lissa1213

I'd talk to her about coming and ask her if she would feel uncomfortable.  Is she shy?  If not then it shouldn't be a problem for her to go.  I always love meeting new people.

klw0022

I think if there isn't anything weird between your FI and her, there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes there's overlap with previous relationships, and we all can't help that. I have an ex that happens to play softball with my FI and at first FI was a bit weird, but now he thinks my ex is the nicest guy (even though he can see why we didn't work out) so it all just depends on if it makes things weird and if not, don't worry about it.

S0095042

Maybe wait to see if she RSVPs...if so, then ask her to do a reading if she feels comfortable about it?

audreyjem

That's a good call S00, I was thinking about doing that, and having one of FI's aunts on standby in case she doesn't want to.

KLW- I have talked to FI about it, and he's fine with it.

Thanks for the advice ladies

S0095042

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_tricky-relationship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:52a74a6a-deb4-49e1-8848-7c7f96bb1d35Post:29833f6f-07b3-489f-9e6b-3a0f0391e9af">Re: Tricky relationship</a>:
[QUOTE]...and having one of FI's aunts on standby in case she doesn't want to.Posted by audreyjem[/QUOTE]

just don't ask the Aunt until you know from your sponsor...you don't want the Aunt to feel slighted or "2nd string"...  :)

Mona8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_tricky-relationship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:52a74a6a-deb4-49e1-8848-7c7f96bb1d35Post:ea5f8f64-5afe-4dc5-8382-5fb1ea5ad5b2">Re: Tricky relationship</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe wait to see if she RSVPs...if so, then ask her to do a reading if she feels comfortable about it?
Posted by S0095042[/QUOTE]

^^ I agree ^^

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_tricky-relationship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:52a74a6a-deb4-49e1-8848-7c7f96bb1d35Post:0a1487ed-9fcf-458a-8666-4412793fd0bb">Re: Tricky relationship</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I think if there isn't anything weird between your FI and her, there's nothing wrong with that. </strong>Sometimes there's overlap with previous relationships, and we all can't help that. I have an ex that happens to play softball with my FI and at first FI was a bit weird, but now he thinks my ex is the nicest guy (even though he can see why we didn't work out) so it all just depends on if it makes things weird and if not, don't worry about it.
Posted by klw0022[/QUOTE]

<div>Agreed. </div>