MOB/MOG dress dilemma?

Lyra1020

So, my mom chose her dress a few months ago. It's this one:



My FI's mom just picked this one out:



And yes, they're both in navy. I think they look pretty darn similar. The problem here is that my mom is a size 18. FI's mom is a size 6. So, I'm really worried that my mom is going to feel like crap standing next to the beautiful, slender, much-younger-looking MOG.

This is sort of a vent ... but also looking for advice? Should I beg the MOG to find a different dress? Encourage my mom to?

mandi921vh

Did your FI's mom know what dress your mom picked out before she chose hers? Maybe talk with your mom and let her know the dresses are similar and ask if she is comfortable with that.

The mothers will only be in a few photographs together, so it won't matter that they have similar dresses. I have been to a few weddings where the mothers wore a similar color.

AurorasEnvy

Maybe ask the MOG to wear it in a different color?  I don't think it is going to be too big of a deal even if they both wear navy, I think the dresses are different enough.  And I understand where you are coming from, my mom is plus sized & FMIL is not - I assume that your mom might have had a hard time finding a dress she felt comfortable in, so I'd probably just leave it alone.

classykat22

I think that all depends on how your mom actually feels about this.  If she is a confident, strong woman who is comfortable in her own skin, then I don't think you have anything to worry about.  Only your mom would know how standing next to someone who has a different body type than her own, will make her feel.  I think talking to your mom about it would be the first step...and then together, you guys can decide if anything needs to be reconsidered.  Personally, I think both dresses are beautiful and hope they can both wear what they picked out.  

amandad18

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_mobmog-dress-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:68b564a3-1200-4e4d-85de-92b9fd8c4f96Post:74ad35c2-9a4b-4823-9d8d-9630e3f25e60">Re: MOB/MOG dress dilemma?</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe ask the MOG to wear it in a different color?  I don't think it is going to be too big of a deal even if they both wear navy, I think the dresses are different enough.  And I understand where you are coming from, my mom is plus sized & FMIL is not - I assume that <strong>your mom might have had a hard time finding a dress she felt comfortable in</strong>, so I'd probably just leave it alone.
Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This! I'm a size 16/18 and constantly have a hard time finding things that I feel confident wearing. If your mom has found something she feels good about, proceed with caution if you choose to bring it up. </div><div>
</div><div>I also agree that the moms won't be in too many pictures together, but also totally understand you wanting your mom to feel her best- GL!

</div>

kimberlykh

Regardless of how similiar/different the dresses are, it won't hide that FMIL is younger and thinner than your mom. If they both found a dress that they like and feel comfortable in, I would let it be. 

Lyra1020

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_mobmog-dress-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:68b564a3-1200-4e4d-85de-92b9fd8c4f96Post:69f16931-47db-4789-8468-a999c493c95e">Re: MOB/MOG dress dilemma?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Did your FI's mom know what dress your mom picked out before she chose hers? </strong> Maybe talk with your mom and let her know the dresses are similar and ask if she is comfortable with that. The mothers will only be in a few photographs together, so it won't matter that they have similar dresses. I have been to a few weddings where the mothers wore a similar color.
Posted by mandi921vh[/QUOTE]

FI's mom knew about the dress, and that it was navy. (I sent her a link.) I don't want my mom to pick another dress -- she's comfortable in this one. It was a battle finding one she was happy with. I know she's not confident about her weight, and that's the concern. I'd be completely fine with FI mom's dress if it were a different color ...  even a lighter blue. They just look almost the same from the back. And the sleeve length is identical.

Agh. I don't want to be a bridezilla, but this is just really bothering me. It's already bad enough that my stepmom is extremely petite and younger, etc... which I'm sure will make my mom uncomfortable. Now there's this ...

MsAmeera25

Honestly I would not ask your mom to find a new dress AND I would not mention it to her. Mentioning it to her will make her self conscious by asking her. Tell his mom MOG to find a new dress. Tell her you wanted the moms in a different color and you are so sorry for not telling her. Make it your fault. She should be able to find another dress easily enough. Your mom picked her dress first and everyone knows the MOG's dress should be different especially since you showed her a pic...

But maybe i'm being a Bridezilla too because for some reason this really annoyed me lol

mdoyle1217

I agree that the the MOG dress should be a different color than the MOB dress. Why would she pick the same color and similar style if she knew your what your mom's dress looked like? That doesn't make any sense to me. Do you have a good enough relationship with your FMIL to ask her to find a different dress??

mancila60

I would re-mention to FMIl that MOB dress is navy and similar. Your mom had hers first and has had it for a while. I would at least ask FMIL to get the dress in a different color. An no your not being a bridezilla about this!

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_mobmog-dress-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:68b564a3-1200-4e4d-85de-92b9fd8c4f96Post:ab4fbb35-abe2-4e2e-97df-84942459da02">Re: MOB/MOG dress dilemma?</a>:
[QUOTE]Regardless of how similiar/different the dresses are, it won't hide that FMIL is younger and thinner than your mom. If they both found a dress that they like and feel comfortable in, I would let it be.  :)
Posted by kimberlykh[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with this. You can't really dictate what mothers wear, especially after the dress has been purchased...</div>

TNBride2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_mobmog-dress-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:68b564a3-1200-4e4d-85de-92b9fd8c4f96Post:ab4fbb35-abe2-4e2e-97df-84942459da02">Re: MOB/MOG dress dilemma?</a>:
[QUOTE]Regardless of how similiar/different the dresses are, it won't hide that FMIL is younger and thinner than your mom. If they both found a dress that they like and feel comfortable in, I would let it be.  :)
Posted by kimberlykh[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Totally agree. Hey, they both found dresses in which they're happy, that's something to celebrate! And from someone who struggles with this on an almost daily basis, it's impossible to control how your mother will feel or react; if you try to manipulate people or events in order to do so, you'll just end up frustrated. For all you know, your motehr might end up embarrassed that you even mentioned it to you FMIL. I think the dresses are different enough and beautiful each in their own way. :-)</div>

mandydc0509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_mobmog-dress-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:68b564a3-1200-4e4d-85de-92b9fd8c4f96Post:ab4fbb35-abe2-4e2e-97df-84942459da02">Re: MOB/MOG dress dilemma?</a>:
[QUOTE]Regardless of how similiar/different the dresses are, it won't hide that FMIL is younger and thinner than your mom. If they both found a dress that they like and feel comfortable in, I would let it be.  :)
Posted by kimberlykh[/QUOTE]

I agree with this also. My mom is plus size and my FI's mom is very small... My mom picked her dress first in platinum, and when I showed my FMIL, she loved the color and said she might get it for herself. The thought of both mothers choosing the same color dress has never bothered me. I told them both to get something that makes them feel beautiful. If they feel that way in the same color, then they'll be wearing the same color.

The only way this scenario would bother me is if they were wearing the same dress b/c that probably would make your mom feel a little awkward. However, while the dresses do compliment each other, they are not the same - I think she'll be fine.

ACKHillaryP

I had a semi-similar situtation, I went with MOG to pick out her dress and she found a reallly nice eggplant purple colored one, and she got it. Then, my mom was dress hunting and she sent me to a link of one she really liked and it was also an eggplant-ish purple color. So, right away I said to my mom that MOG's dress was the same color and she already bought it.. I said I didnt mind if they were in similar colors but I didnt think she would want that... and she agreed and ended up finding a green color dress that she liked better. so it all worked out in the end.
I think you should maybe have a talk with your FI and see what he thinks? Maybe he can talk to his mom about it? Or if you are close enough you can talk to her about it and just explain it like you have on here.. your mom had a hard time finding a dress and you want them both to be comfortable but maybe she could get the dress in a different color? Good Luck!

dori851

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. They both bought these dresses for a reason, so as long as they both like the way they look in them & feel in them, then I'd let it be  

S0095042

I"m sorry, but I don't think there is much you can do/ask for here. I'm sure they'll both look lovely.