May 2012 Weddings

Weekend Woes...Bridezilla? (long, sorry)

Hey Ladies,

I'm looking for some perspective (so if I am being a Bridezilla, be kind as that's not my intent)...

Here recently I've been having some problems with one of my Aunts (who is the grandmother of our flower girls and is the one bringing them to the wedding). So the first thing is that the FI's grandmother asked to throw my shower and I thought that that was VERY sweet of her. So last week she calls me trying to track down the last few phone #s for RSVPs and she asks me that my Aunt RSVPed several weeks ago but then the other day she called again to RSVP for 2 more people...and she was just curious if I knew anything about it. I told her no, I didn't know and asked her who the people were. She told me their names and low and behold it was the flower girls. So I was a bit upset. The FGs are very sweet little girls, but they are in fact little girls and with the FI's gma throwing the party (i don't have a good relationship with a lot of his family...though neither does he) I didn't want it to seem like my family was being rude the one time his family made an effort to be nice to me. So I called my mom (it's her sister) and she said that if it was ok with his gma then to just let it slide. Gma said it was "no problem" but I was still upset but thought maybe I was making too much of it...

Then this weekend I went for my practice hair and makeup. The stylist was telling me that my Aunt had called (we all use the same woman) and was talking about all her ideas for the girls hair (which is 100% good with me as I have no desire to specify an actual hair style like curls, etc)  but then she went on to tell me that my Aunt had planned to put all this crap in the girls hair (flowers, bows, etc.) I was like huh? (b/c I had already told my Aunt that I would buy all their accessories including hair stuff as I know she has flashy taste and our WP is going to be clasic, not flashy).

So then last night I get a phone call from my mom and she tells me that my Aunt is calling and wants to know what my wedding flowers are b/c she wants to hire a florist to make halos and that she (my mom) told my aunt that she would need to contact me as she didn't think that I wanted the fgs to have halos (did I mention i HATE halos?). Then mom tells me that I should call her as my Aunt had called my mom about the bridal shower (inviting the 2  flower girls) and mom had told her to contact me first...which she never did.

I'll see my Aunt at my bridal shower this Saturday and plan to bring it up, but before I do am I the one being a bridezilla OR has she crossed a line? btw, did I mention this same aunt asked to add 10 people to the wedding guest list (from her husband's side)...but then again, she did offer to pay for their attendance...


Re: Weekend Woes...Bridezilla? (long, sorry)

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    I don't think you are being a bridezilla, I just think that your aunt is trying to make sure the flowergirls have a good time throughout the wedding as well. I understand that you have a specific look for the FGs but if you haven't shared that with your aunt, how is she to know what you do and don't want. And maybe you have told her, I don't know, but I think that since she's bringing them to the wedding she probably feels responsible for making sure they look presentable for the wedding.

    I think you just need to calmly talk with her about what you would and wouldn't like for the girls and tell her that you appreciate all that she is doing for the girls to make them feel special on your wedding day too.

    As for the girls being at the shower, well that is a whole other issue. Part of me says that they should be there since they are in the WP but I can also understand about the little girl issue and how someone would need to constantly be watching them. Just have a conversation with her aunt so you both can understand where the other person is coming from.
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    I agree with PP.  You need to talk to her.  But don’t go at her on the “offense”.  Let her ask you about the halos, and calmly tell her that you don’t like halos.  She might not know.  She is probably just trying to help.  If she doesn't ask you, then I would bring it up and tell her you don't like halos.  Maybe if you share with her what you want to put in their hair it will help her have a better vision?


    As far as the shower, I would let that one go.  If the host is ok with it, you should be too.

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    I would visit with your aunt about what you are envisioning for the girls and maybe if you have bought their accessories already, bring them with you and show her what you want to do.  She may/maynot know, but then you made your point as to what you want.  If she goes beyond that and insists on getting these halos then you have the right to tell her no.  If you give her exactly what you want, then there is no wiggle room.

    Bridal shower: I guess let that battle lie.  Sounds like FI"s gma is ok with it. 
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    I wouldn't specifically say you don't like your aunts ideas for dressing up the FGs hair, but maybe suggest different things or say you already bought the accessories.
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