Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Memorial

What is a unique way to honor those who have passed on at the wedding?  There is an option for a memorial table at our venue but i'm not sure I want a whole table.  Any suggestions?  Thanks!

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Re: Memorial

  • So crazy, I was just about to write up the same post!  My fiance and I both have lost our fathers and we were hoping to do some kind of short memorial during the ceremony in remembrance of loved ones lost who still are in our hearts and we wish could be with us.  My friend is doing a reading during our ceremony while maybe a doing a candlelighting with our moms?  Any other ideas?
  • I lost my mom and am tying her wedding ring to my bouquet as my "something old."

    At my church, a prayer is said for those who have passed on. It can be a general "we remember those who can't be with us" or it can name each person specifically.
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  • You can write something in the program (which we did), but I would advise against saying something aloud at the wedding, which could be painful for people not expecting to be reminded of a loss at such a joyous occasion.
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  • My only sibling my brother who was 17 recently passed, I too am wondering the right way to include him in my ceremony. He is always on my mind, and I can't imagine not mentioning him on my wedding day. My family also would be hurt if I left him out. I want to do something more than write his name in a program, light a candle, or have a picture of him. I am trying to incorporate something that represents him into our special day, but I am still being mindful that it is a joyous day, not a mournful one.

    I would suggest adding a token or something that represents the love one you wish to remember. For me I think i will add a piece of my brothers clothing to the lining of my dress, then he will be with me. Friends of mine had a small memoriam at a table at their reception, which had flowers that they later took to the burial site.

    Hope you find something that is right for you and your husband to be.
  • Another thing you can do is keep it between you and your family. My FI lost his dad before we ever met. Sounds strange that I feel like I knew him, but he raised a great son. As much as I want to honor him more than anyone, I won't be planning anything. That is for my FI and FMIL. What they want to do, I will go along with.

    On another note, I lost both grandmother and great grandmother who I was very close to. Both of them loved weddings; between making dresses with literally thousands of pearls, sequeins and beads, to cakes and flowers, they will be missed. I am getting my wedding quilt that my GG prepared before she went to be with the Lord. I will display is on a quilt rack beside the gift table. That is in her honor.

  • I agree that it is important to check with others about what they may be comfortable with - my mother was not comfortable with any big mentions or special parts of the ceremony to remember my father as she knew it would be too hard for her. We all knew we were thinking of him on the day and that was enough for us. You know your family better and what they would prefer or be able to cope with.

    I really like the ideas of either a photo tied to the bouquet or including a token from them as a way to include them, and maybe a line in the program if you are doing one. Not a fan of the empty chair - I think seeing the empty chair would just upset people more as a big reminder of who should have been there. 
  • There is a piano near the entrance to our reception venue. We are going to be placing pictures of grandparents on their wedding day there. All of our grandparents have passed and so has my father, so I think I may include a picture of him on the piano too. I have put a small note on the back of the program that says "We remember fondly those who are with us in spirit". What you do to remember those who are not still here with us on your joyful day is up to you and your FH. Keep in mind the feelings of those who have lost the ones you wish to memorialize as well. It does not have to scream "He/She is not here" to have special meaning. A wedding is a day for joyful memories.
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  • We are having a memorial candle that we are ordering from weddingstar. It can be inscribed with names or script of whatever you want and that way you dont have to announce anything if you dont want to but you would still know that you are remembering them
  • We , too, are having a memorial candle to honor my Dad with a verse and his picture on it setting on top of the piano. I am also attaching a charm with his picture in it to my bouquet. In the program I am listing my parents as Faye and (the late) Steve Terry.
  • TiffannieFTiffannieF member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My mother passed away in Jan 2009, I honored by having a picture of her, a memorial candle and a bouquet for her (she was suppose to my MOH).  I also noted in the program "a memorial candle stays lit in honor of (my moms name) mother of the bride".

    I have a "In Memory Of" page in my bio with other ideas.

    Here's a pic of my and H and I with my mom, something that both him and I wanted to do is take a picture with her.  We did do this after everybody had left. 
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  • I think that we are going to have a memorial candle, maybe just a regular small candle, not sure yet. We are thinking of putting the names of our family members that we were both close to that have now passed onto a piece of nice paper and get a frame made for this. We lost a lot of our family at a young age and we are big family people. We wanted to play the song "wish you were here" by Pink Floyd just the instrumental version sometime at the wedding, but might have to wait till the reception because its a pretty long song. Any ideas?

  • I don't see anything wrong with remembering a loved one. Especially if it's  parent, or sibling. Don't be discouraged by people that think it's wrong to bring up the memory of someone special that has passed. Although, I do not like the "empty chair" idea. I think that's a little much. I too am going to have some kind of memorial ceremony- very quick at the end- in rememberance of my fiance's father who recently passed away. I am looking into other ideas aside from the candle though. The sand might not be a bad way to do it.
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