Holy Friends Batman...

mari0225

I just wanted to vent a minute, I know it's early but being the planner that I am I wanted to get a rough guest list out of the way so I would know approx. how many people we were inviting and etc. Well the FI and I met in October of 2009, and then he introduced me to  his friend we'll call him Dave...well Dave and his g/f at the time "Sue" were nice and we hung out a few times until they broke up and then Sue and I became friends.

Well now Dave is engaged to a friend of mine from high school, FI and I introduced them. We will call her Kate, so now the planning is underway and Sue is remarried. Well I really wanted to invite Sue and her new hubby to the wedding as they've really been great friends to FI and I, but now Kate is saying if I do invite them she won't come and won't let Dave come either, Dave is one of FI groomsmen.

Sorry just needed tonight and FI's at work so I couldn't vent to him

mari0225

LOL not sure what's with my subject i've been on a batman/robin kick all day

daftmagpie

I hate people who try to dictate who you can and can't invite. Is there some bad blood between Sue and Dave?

I think I would have a polite conversation with kate and dave and remind them that while you cherish your friendship with them you also cherish your relationship with Sue and her family and you know it may be odd at first but you're sure they'll be able to put their differences aside for a few hours so you can enjoy your special day with everyone who is dear to you.

mari0225

Yes there is bad blood, when Sue and I became friends after the break up they said, "Well we can't tell you who to be friends with but, just know that we don't approve or like it."

I am going to talk to them again a little closer to sending out the invites, because the FI and I both want Sue and her family there.

Soon2bStaff

wow... that's all I can say... WOW!

daftmagpie

I'm sorry my tolerance of people who hold a gruge or create drama where there needent be any is very short so with that in mind (this is my 3rd disclaimer today I'm on a roll)

GROW THE F*** UP! Obviously one party in this whole deal, Sue, doesnt think there is a reason for issues why cant Kate build a bridge and get her gruge holding rearside over it?!? Sounds like all parties involved moved on to things that make them more happy. ffs people.

Mari, honey it sucks you have to deal with it i would send out invites to everyone you planned on and have a little chat with Kate when you get closer.

mandi921vh

Kate sounds very childish, she won't let Dave go to your wedding if Sue is going to be there? I understand there is bad blood but they can't put aside their differences for one day?

mari0225

Apparently not, I even told her, "There's going to be over a 100 people there odds are you'll never even have to talk to her or sit at her table."

A part of me wants to say, "Fine don't come." But Dave is FI's friend and he wants him there, Sue is being so nice about the whole thing which I don't know if it makes it better or worse. I have never told her what Kate said, and she told me the other day, "By the way I know Kate and Dave will be there so it's okay if you don't invite me, I wouldn't want to be the cause of drama on your wedding day."

dordtgrl4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_holy-friends-batman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:7f368cc9-7eb4-4b0f-baee-f91e22e0376fPost:85389bd3-f4f5-4426-8df3-1e0089e01322">Re: Holy Friends Batman...</a>:
[QUOTE]Kate sounds very childish, she won't let Dave go to your wedding if Sue is going to be there? I understand there is bad blood but they can't put aside their differences for one day?
Posted by mandi921vh[/QUOTE]

This.
It's your day, not their day. I've had to come with terms with this because of my own guest list issues. Unfortunately it's my parents--a bit complicated but yes, my parents have both agreed to put aside their differences for my sake. I think Kate should do the same. GL!

Lissa1213

Seriously that is super childish.  Personally I would tell her to get over it, It's obivous that everyone has moved on so why does it matter. 
Time for her to put her big girl panies on and deal with it.

Sorry that you are put in the middle of the childish BS.  Personally I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who acted like that

Soon2BSand

If it were me... I'd just be one (or two) less guests. There's no way I'd try to appease (is that a word) anyone on MY (well OUR) day.

Been there done that... screw em and good night. 

mari0225

LOL thanks everyone! You guys are right! I am just going to invite Sue and her hubby and if they don't like oh well!

S0095042

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_holy-friends-batman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:7f368cc9-7eb4-4b0f-baee-f91e22e0376fPost:85389bd3-f4f5-4426-8df3-1e0089e01322">Re: Holy Friends Batman...</a>:
[QUOTE]Kate sounds very childish, she won't let Dave go to your wedding if Sue is going to be there? Posted by mandi921vh[/QUOTE]

Why don't you go around Kate and ask Dave directly if he still plans on comming...guests should not be allowed to determine who is and who is not invited, that's crap. I'm sorry they put you in this position.