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my wedding arguement............(venting...........woooosaahhhhhhh!!!)

So the FI wants us to get married and have our reception in his aunts backyard(I have been past the house but not to the yard). He thinks it will be cheaper than the cost to rent a hall or finding somewhere that for one flat rate pretty much everyting will be included. I have been trting to explain that I do want to have an outdoor ceremony the idea of a backyard wedding is nice but it could cost us just as much as anywhere else. You have to keep in mind tent, lighting, tables chairs and anything else that would be a necessity to have must be rented. We both agreed that we are willing to spend about $3000 give or take on food and bev. We are estimating about 100 people and most of minee are out of towners. Ughhhhhh, he just is getting on my nerves at the moment. Maybe once I see what amount of space the yard is then things may be okay.

Re: my wedding arguement............(venting...........woooosaahhhhhhh!!!)

  • missyt180missyt180 member
    edited December 2011
    Deep breaths!  :)

    If he really wants to do the backyard becuase of cost savings (and not because he has an emotional tie to the place) I think your best bet is to appeal to his rational side.  Put together a spreadsheet that details out the different factors for 3-4 different locales (aunt's backyard, hall, hotel, etc.).

    I did this for my wedding, and found that what I thought was the cheapest was definitely not.  In addition, for the venue that had a lower space rental fee, I would be doubling / tripling my work as I would have to have all the vendors arranged on my own.

    If the aunt's backyard is the cheapest, but the stress of arranging everything will be higher, make sure you factor that in as well.  It may not have a $$ value, but is important as well.

    Anecdotelly, my friend's sister is getting married at her FI's aunt's old barn - she thought it would be cheaper/easier, but it has turned into a fete of epic proportions, and the cost has easily surpassed her sister's wedding at a swanky hotel in the same area!
  • edited December 2011
    It could be cheaper than a hall or hotel, but it depends on how much work you are willing to do, and how many people you have to help. Before just going with the backyard (even if you see it and like the idea), I would check out halls, hotels, etc. that you may be interested in. It doesn't hurt to see them and compare. With your budget though, you may want to look into firehalls and VFWs. I had my reception at Gateway Hall in Monroeville (firehall), and paid about your budget for approx. 90 guests. (not including alcohol- it was BYOB) Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    I think your FI needs to consider guest comfort. I know this sounds harsh, but I have only ever been to two outdoor weddings done right out of probably twenty. And Pittsburgh weather is extremely fickle.

    I'd risk an outdoor ceremony, but probably not a reception.

    If it rains, it gets miserable. Even in a tent with walls. The ground can get soaked if the tent is not installed right. (An alternative to this is a location with an indoor backup space, like the Frick. Or the Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, where they do a tent on top of a concrete porch/slab, so it is much better shielded than just on the ground.)

    If it is cold, people will leave early. You can rent heat blowers, though. Keep in mind, even weather in the sixties can feel cold if there is wind or elderly people. On the other hand, people will leave early if it gets too hot in the tent too, like above 90.

    You will have to have some kind of bathroom facilities. Is anyone handicapped? Most home bathrooms aren't handicapped accessible. Some home bathrooms will not be able to handle a hundred people using them throughout the day.

    What will you have as your backup plan in case of really bad rain, lightning?

    It can be beautiful to have an outdoor wedding reception, but it will cost every bit as much to do it right. You may need permits from the city. I believe the tent rental alone is close to 1k. I don't think it would be as cost savings as your FI thinks and often, it can be disastrous if corners are cut.

  • amn2152amn2152 member
    edited December 2011
    That's exactly what I was thinking!!!!!!   Thanks for the positive thoughts!1!!
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