I GIVE UP!

XxKrazy4u

Well, i planned a weekend with my BMs and wedding party this weekend. rented and paid for a 20person Limo ($700) and planned a big weekend thing where we were going to go out , go wine tasting, go see bridesmaids, and go out that night dancing etc, and order dresses sunday and get them all sized.
well, i told them about it 3 months ago, put out formal invites and an itinerary which everyone RSVPed to andwithin the last 2 days, i have had everyone drop out all of the sudden.
I am beyond pissed off...about to tell everyone to go F-CK themselves and eliminate the wedding party and keep just the MOH who is the only one who is still willing to come out here along with the best man.
I have had enough of these people in the last 6 months....I am so done!

klw0022

That's BOGUS! I'm sorry girl!
I don't blame you for not wanting a wedding party; we're not even having one

greeneke2

Wow!  I don't know what to say. I would be so upset if that happened to me, especially since you put out invites and they RSVP'd and all the money you put into it =[

Mona8

I'm so sorry. That is so unfair to you after all the money and time you put into planning this weekend. It is very rude of them to cancel so last minute after knowing for 3 months and RSVPing yes.  I honestly wouldn't blame you if you decided to do away with a wedding party.

krystalstovall

That is so wrong the way they did. I am sorry hun. I wouldn't want them in my wedding after all that either.

ReidBreiling

Wow that is so wrong!!! I dont blame you for not wanting a wedding party after that.

meganbouchard

Oh no! That sucks, that really is unfair since they RSVP'ed!

Maybe talk to them and see what's up? Could be that there's stuff going on in their lives that they need to talk about, it's weird that they would all just drop like that. Maybe they couldn't afford it? A weekend away might have been a lot for them... It was definitely not cool to back out last minute. Hope you can resolve the problems!

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_give-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:aef8f8f3-e7b0-4e8a-8795-9e5ef2598dc0Post:c427daaf-35e5-4d54-b244-87a46b1613a6">Re: I GIVE UP!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh no! That sucks, that really is unfair since they RSVP'ed! Maybe talk to them and see what's up? Could be that there's stuff going on in their lives that they need to talk about, it's weird that they would all just drop like that. Maybe they couldn't afford it? A weekend away might have been a lot for them... It was definitely not cool to back out last minute. Hope you can resolve the problems!
Posted by meganbouchard[/QUOTE]

<div>I was thinking this too.</div>

Malibu2370

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_give-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:aef8f8f3-e7b0-4e8a-8795-9e5ef2598dc0Post:c427daaf-35e5-4d54-b244-87a46b1613a6">Re: I GIVE UP!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh no! That sucks, that really is unfair since they RSVP'ed! Maybe talk to them and see what's up? Could be that there's stuff going on in their lives that they need to talk about, it's weird that they would all just drop like that. Maybe they couldn't afford it? A weekend away might have been a lot for them... It was definitely not cool to back out last minute. Hope you can resolve the problems!
Posted by meganbouchard[/QUOTE]

I can agree with this but at the same time if they didn't have the money they shouldn't have RSVP'ed to it.

I do agree that you should try to figure out what the deal is. I know out of anger I'd probably want to dismiss the whole idea of the WP too but I've learned that decisions like this are best made after a lot of thought and consideration has been poured into it.

So sorry you have to deal with this tho :( Good luck trying to sort it all out

FutureMrsSheeler

Why did they bail?? That seems so weird that all but one would just decide not to go in the end? Did they give any explanation or anything?

Pod0512

Ditto FMS.  I'd be upset, too, that they cancelled last minute after already saying yes.  Is something else going on?  Did they have an explanation, or was it just like "Sorry, I have to wash my hair?"

angelsong21

Oh wow, I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. I was wondering if cost was an issue as well, but ditto PP -- if it was, they shouldn't have RSVP'd.  I would be so upset too...I really hope you are able to get some answers from them at the very least.

XxKrazy4u

we paid for the limo for them. we offered a place to stay...AND to buy and cook for them while they are here. Gas and tolls was the only expense. all other expenses are optional.
2 of them didnt want to stay at the place we live now (we have a downstairs apartment at his parents house) ...i guess its beneath them to sleep in someones bed (we offered up our bed and marty and i were going to sleep on a blow up matress)  they wanted to stay at a hotel. fine with me... but then had some things come up with her dog needing emergency surgery which i understand. she just got back from florida...and has a cruise coming up in 4 months she "needs" money for. I basically made a free weekend for them both except gas and tolls split between 2 people..$25 whole dollars....cmon now....and then i was told other stories about not leaving husbands home alone etc. mind you...the one does it all the time....ALL the time.so after that i was really POed.
My cousin and brother bailed because simply they are too scared to come to NY from NJ and neither one of them will drive, take a train or anything. i offered to pay to get them up here.

ive tried enough with this group. its rediculous. they tell me i need to "get back to earth" and my expectations are too high....ummmmm HELLOOOOOOOO am i the only one who cares about this wedding. seems like it.
like i said before...my MOH basically has been dealing with them for the shower and bachelorette and said not to be rude but...no one cares about your wedding...im sorry they just dont...they dont care and they arent taking anything seriously.

UGH frusterated but it will pass.

julianahenao881

I know exactly how you feel. Im always planning things out with my bridal party and they are always too busy to do anything.  Some people just don't realize that a wedding is a big deal especially for the bride who is doing all the planning. First thing we do when we get engaged is think about all our especial friend that should be with us the day of our wedding and what do we get in return a friend or family member that puts no effort in celebrating your special day. Im sorry but i was  so fustrated with my wedding party and i had to tell them, and i think it helped me bc i can see a big difference in all of them.  If i could choose my bridesmaids again trust me i would only  choose one or two. We are not trying to be bridezillas or anything like that we just wanted to do something nice for them...like your doing it, but if they don't appreciated then don't worry about it and use the limo for a romantic date with your  FI.  Good Luck
 

Pod0512

I think you're over-reacting. Yes it sucks that they cancelled last minute.  I would be hurt, too.  Not everyone can be OMGSOEXCITED for a wedding that's not even theirs that's still a year away.  I'm not even that excited for mine yet.  I understand your mind is probably on your wedding a lot since you are the one planning it, but you shouldn't expect your BMs to feel the same way. 

To them, you're wedding is hundreds of days away, but to you it's only a year.  One sounds like a ridiculous amount of time left and the other sounds like it's coming up really fast.  They're both essentially the same thing depending on how you look at it.  Lower your expectations a bit or else it's going to be one long-ass year.

XxKrazy4u

i agree and understand about it being a year away...just wish that people would have been upfront since we paid 700 bucks for the limo which we are now stuck with. i tried to get my cash back and it was a no go. i only booked after i got the okay from everyone that they were coming.
to me its not fair. i do go out of my way a lot for my friends...but im starting to see that they wouldnt do that for me...its disappointing on SO MANY levels. people you trust, and family,...just no one is ever there for me for anything. not just the wedding...its with everything in my life and im starting to think i really just have no one i can rely on to be there for me.
 its okay for me to travel 4 hrs to celebrate a birthday for someone ...but when its my time...i get the oh im broke or oh im busy. well they dont take into consideration that im broke too....yet i still manage somehow.friendship is a 2 way street. i seem to be traveling the road alone more times than not....and i think i just need a change of scenery.

Pod0512

I hear you, it really sucks that they backed out after they already agreed and you paid for it.  Can you still use the limo?  Maybe go out with just your MOH or your FI and do something fun?

I have friends like that (kind of the one-sided thing you were talking about), and sometimes all I need is a break from them.  I don't bother trying to get in touch for awhile and just let it all be while I get over it.  Usually after a little while we pick back up where we left off.

ETA: That last part sounds weird...but I don't know how to phrase it without going into too much detail and writing a book. I hope it's kinda clear...

XxKrazy4u

i do the same thing...let it ride, dont contact them. but i give in too easily. they are never the ones to call, email, or message me anymore it seems.