Asking BMs

mandi921vh

I already know that I want my BFF to be my MOH and my sister and FSIL to be BMs. I see my sister and BFF about once a month when I visit my family (about 300 miles away), and I rarely see FSIL. 

Would it be weird to ask my BFF and my sister in a few weeks (when I see them over the long weekend) and then wait until I see FSIL in October to ask her? 

I would like to do it in person, although I know it is not required.

WWYD?

lnvane00

I dont think its weird at all what you wanna do. I see no problem waiting till you see them all in person!

Mona8

I don't think it's a problem either. I asked my MOH first and then asked the last BM about 2 months later. The other 2 BMs I asked sometime in the 2 months.

mandi921vh

Okay, I guess I just thought it was weird that it would be 4 months from when I ask my sister and BFF and when I ask FSIL. 

I guess I am just worried that FSIL will find out I have chosen the other girls and feel like she isn't going to be a BM and her and FMIL will be upset or something... I guess I will see how it goes. I would just rather not do it on the phone because it seems impersonal, I want to see her reaction, and we don't ever speak on the phone.

Hopefully in the next few months I am not posting that FMIL and FSIL hate me hahaha. I almost didn't want to include FSIL because FMIL and her assumed she would be in the BP because FMIL thinks the wedding is about our two families coming together as one and the WP should include all siblings (even though she did not do this). I decided to include FSIL after FI wanted to include my brother because then FSIL would be only sibling not in WP, plus I feel it's the right thing to do. 

I think the wedding is about FI and I coming together in marriage, and him joining my family and me joining his family, not our two families coming together as one.

bpphoto785

can you at least let FMIL in on the secret, that way she won't be upset?

I think it's fine to ask months apart. I asked my MOH last July right after I got engaged, then 2 of my BMs over the winter and have yet to ask my last. 

my only thought with waiting until October is ordering the bridesmaids dresses and if she'll have time to do that in less than 6 months. 

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_asking-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:bf098843-9f27-41a2-8832-9e12a8ecb02fPost:c22f81ee-4b82-45cd-b24d-eeafd65b1f78">Re: Asking BMs</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>can you at least let FMIL in on the secret, that way she won't be upset?</strong> I think it's fine to ask months apart. I asked my MOH last July right after I got engaged, then 2 of my BMs over the winter and have yet to ask my last.  <strong>my only thought with waiting until October is ordering the bridesmaids dresses and if she'll have time to do that in less than 6 months. </strong>
Posted by bpphoto785[/QUOTE]

<div>FMIL cannot keep a secret so this is out (but good idea). </div><div>
</div><div>I was thinking this too, but my wedding dress came in 4 weeks after it was ordered from DB, and when I was in my sister's wedding the BM dresses came in about 4-6 weeks after they were ordered. </div><div>
</div><div>I guess if things get dicey I could either ask over the phone or try to get together with her in September, which is possible (summer is out she will be in FL, we are in VT).</div><div>
</div><div>Thanks everyone for their help. I just thought it was odd that there would be such a gap between asking but if others have done it, I don't feel like it's that weird. </div>