So, I am hitting my first snafu with my wedding. Its minor, but have read conflicting reports in different books, so wanted to see where everyone else netted out on this topic.
For our wedding, we both initially included only our aunts, uncles, first cousins, grandparents, immediate family, and our parents close friends.
Because we are having the wedding in Pittsburgh where my family is, there are additional second cousins/extended family that could potentially make it onto the guest list (and my mom asked me to include). However, this will cause our invites to go over our threshold. In addition, the invites on my family size will be much higher - and I feel that the "right" thing to do is extend "second cousins and beyond" to his family as well - not only does my side get more invites, they also get to break out of the immediate family rule.
This places us in an awkward position - our family invites will cause us to cut some of our friends out of the wedding. And although family is important, most of the second cousins I haven't seen in at least 10-15 years due to my being across the country (and FI has never met). But I think that my parents feel that if we have the wedding in Pittsburgh, and DON'T invite them, it will be a snub. I don't disagree, just trying to figure out how to make this work.
- Did you and your FI use equal family status for invites (for example, only immediate famiily)?
- Did you give both families equal number of invites (for example, 60 for each set of parents, 60 for the couple)?