New here! Anyone else have people assuming they're invited?

meganbouchard

Hi ladies! I just realized there were boards for the wedding month. Our wedding is planned for May 26, 2012... We've recently picked the venue and our WP, so excited! Guess I have to work on a siggy with venue pics Hope the wedding planning is going well for all of you.

I'm having a serious problem with people assuming they're invited to the wedding, FI and I have had at least 10 people say things like "can't wait for your wedding" and a guy we were friends with in college years ago even asked if he could come! We're just blowing them off for now by saying it's a small wedding. People are funny...

S0095042

#1: Welcome to the board! You'll love it here!

#2: Are you talking about/ bringing up the wedding infront of people who aren't invited?--- If so, you shouldn't do this, it makes people assume they are invited (and rightfully so. You wouldn't talk about a birthday party you were throwing if you weren't inviting them)

..if you're not talking about it how are they finding out about it (and thus inviting themselves? Just curious. Is there a "leek" in the family?

Ambie106

1. Welcome and Congrats!!!!

2. Agree with PP... But I'm not DW here.... )

meganbouchard

No, not talking about it to people who aren't invited, I agree that would be awful! They either see my ring or say that they saw that we're engaged on facebook, and then just assume they're coming. We're the first out of our friends to get married, maybe that has something to do with it.

klw0022

Congrats and welcome! We are a great bunch and these girls offer great opinions and advice

It's hard because at work, usually where I have the issue, is where people get nosey and ask all about the party and reception, etc. I try to be super vague, but honestly, I'm not boasting about it. You invite who you want to invite and that's that. People know it costs money, so hopefully they stop assuming and let you plan your big day as you see fit  

FutureMrsSheeler

Welcome to the board Its the best one! And no advice.. I haven't really had anyone assume they're invited.. since its still a year out.

Mona8

Congrats and Welcome to the board! We're date twins! Yay for May 26th!

greeneke2

Welcome!  I haven't had this happen to me either!  Although I did have someone send me a save the date for their wedding but then didn't actually invite me to the wedding! Weird!

daftmagpie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_new-here-anyone-else-people-assuming-theyre-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:e9187093-cca2-4b23-807a-e6e717f79443Post:31ec8869-ae32-4cdf-97f5-497d30f5f3a4">Re: New here! Anyone else have people assuming they're invited?</a>:
[QUOTE]Welcome!  I haven't had this happen to me either!  Although I did have someone send me a save the date for their wedding but then didn't actually invite me to the wedding! Weird!
Posted by greeneke2[/QUOTE]

Thats just rude! Maybe the invite was lost in the mail.

As for the OP welcome the girls here are super cool and fun. I don't have any advice since I havent experienced this yet. But we havent told a lot of people either. Set a budget, decide what it will alow for and start with inviting those most important to you and work down the list. Its rude for them to assume they're invited, its NOT rude for you not to invite them.

lanejane

This happened to me. My sister's mother-in-law (of all people) overheard me talking to my mom about a meeting with a photographer. She started to ask me questions about the wedding and I tried to be very vague and nonchalant but then she mentioned that she had a year to get ready for the wedding.

I don't even like this woman and she's not related to me or my fiance! I just laughed a little and changed the conversation. What can you do? People will know you're getting married and they'll say things but those with any sense will not hint at wanting to come unless they are super close fam.

Malibu2370

Welcome! I've only been on here for a few days (just now getting around to the social aspect of the site! ) Everyone is wicked nice so far tho

I've had a few people assume they're going to be invited and it's always been kind of an awkward situation to get out of without hurting/embarrassing anyone (then again I think it's their fault for assuming but w/e) Usually I say something along the lines of "Well I'd love to have everyone I know at the wedding but we're really trying to save money and keep it to just family and extended family..."

Yes I am inviting other friends to the wedding but that's not something they really need to know at the moment. I've only had one person get offended by it but she's impossible to deal with anyways so I kind of knew that was coming! Other than that most of them have totally understood and not brought it up again, usually I get asked if they can be put on the "B-list" then and we laugh about it....

I think once the excitement of you being engaged dies down a little it will become less of an issue. Good luck either way tho!

gpapale1

Welcome to the board!  My FI and I are getting married 5/26 as well!  Yay!

I think it's best to either change the subject or say something like PP: "I wish we could afford to invite everyone, but we need to keep it small."  I feel like people are more understanding when it's a money issue (instead of you just not wanting to invite them, lol).  We purposely chose a venue that only holds 120 people for the ceremony and dinner, so I either use the money excuse or "the venue only fits 120 people" excuse.  They don't have to know that our list is only around 100 people right now.

mandi921vh

Welcome to the board! 

My advice would be to say that you haven't formulated a guest list when people assume they are invited and change the subject.