Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

XP: Ease My Worries, Please?

FMIL wants members of her church (wedding location) to be "invited" via a blerb in the bulletin, but they will know not to attend the reception (different location) because there will be no mention of it, obviously. They will not get individal invitations. 
Someone please tell me this does in fact work out this way and it's really no big deal? I just have fears of one of her church friends asking me or her "So where's the reception?" on the day of the wedding...I don't want that awkwardness for her or for me. I told her they have to understand this, because we have place cards and limited food, so it will be even more awkward if they managed to show up. 
Advice?
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Re: XP: Ease My Worries, Please?

  • If it's in the bulletin, they are being told that they are welcome to attend the ceremony and that's all.  Apparently, this is common in some churches and if your FMIL is insisting on it, this is probably the case with her church.
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  • I would be worrying about it as well.  The church we attend is very large so I have never seen an invitation to the ceremony only...actually all I've seen is some marriage announcements and that's it.  So I guess I don't know what to tell you other than have your FI talk to her...

    My MIL threw me a bridal shower and she invited like 30 people from her church that I have never met, heard of, or invited to the wedding...I was getting pretty scared about it but it worked out ok.  MIL did invite 3 of her mahjong friends to the wedding but it wasn't such a big deal.
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  • You should ask the pastor if that is common practice in that particular church.

    In my (former) chuch, which is Catholic, upcoming marriage ceremonies are announced in the bulletin. All parishioners are welcome to attend, although that rarely happens. They do not expect to be invited to the reception.
                       
  • Thanks for the replies ladies. Maybe I am just worried for nothing.

    My FMIL is the organist at the church, so I think she is up on what is the norm there, and that is why she is so insistent that we do this, lest people get offended or something. This is just unfamiliar to me and I wanted to be sure that everybody is on the same page. There was some confusion about a shower and who was invited to the wedding at my grandma's church not that long ago, so I just didn't want that weirdness going on. 
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  • This was very common in the church I grew up in. The church was huge so anyone from the convregation who wanted was allowed to watch the ceremony. We always sat at the back and knew we couldn't attend the reception. Ask to make sure this is common but I wouldn't worry. Many churches have this traditiob :)
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  • I would be worried too.  Where I live, you invite everyone you know, announce it it the local paper, church bulletin, & expect that everyone, including their children, will show up for the ceremony & reception.
  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_xp-ease-worries-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:27694882-2112-4fd0-917a-3fd490f52868Post:7f0f375d-3ba7-4037-9cbf-4d1b82a6e05a">Re: XP: Ease My Worries, Please?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would be worried too.  Where I live, <strong>you invite everyone you know,</strong> announce it it the local paper, church bulletin, & expect that everyone, including their children, will show up for the ceremony & reception.
    Posted by whitney37354[/QUOTE]

    <div>We cannot even come to close to being able to host that many people. Well, maybe if we had done cake and punch only, but that's not what we wanted. </div><div>
    </div><div>As far as I can tell based on the conversations FI has had with her and the emails we exchanged, it's not a big deal to them if they can't come to the reception. She said if anyone asks, she will just tell them it is private and/or for family and close friends only. I can't really think of a nicer answer...</div><div>
    </div><div>Originally we were actually going to invite all of her friends from the church and not invite any children, but she threw a hissy fit about no kids (meaning half her family couldn't come from OOT), so we compromised. No church people (from my side or theirs) and we are now inviting all kids to the wedding and reception. The major reasons for this were the costs associated with more people, and we didn't want a wedding GL of more than 100 anyway.</div><div>
    </div><div>If they want to come see us get married that badly and know they are not invited to the reception, that's fine with us, even though it seems kind of weird and rude (on our part, not them).</div>
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