Chit Chat
Options

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm a little upset with Bridesmaids *long*

I had my shower today and 2 of my Maids of Honor threw me a shower and sent out invites to my other 2 bridesmaids and one MOH (I have 3 MOH).  They all RSVP'd and said they would be there.  I haven't been able to see them a whole lot with school and life but I text them this morning saying I was so happy they could make it and I'd see them soon (we had already talked about them coming, so I knew first hand they said they'd show).  I get no response from two of them, the other one, FI sister responds saying she'll be there.  Awesome!

So one of my MOH and one bridesmaid don't show up, instead they went to play softball (they are both avid slow pitch ball players).  I know they aren't required to go, but it kind of hurt my feelings.  One of my friends called one of them (my MOH) to ask if she wanted to carpool and she responded, "oh...tell her my daughter has a game or something...and whatever, I went to her first shower" (I've been married before).  The other bridesmaid just never answered me.  Then they both put pictures on facebook of them playing softball saying what a great time they were having. 

My MOH has been flaky the whole time.  I had to literally drag her to get her dress and I had to pay for it because she didn't have money at the last minute.  Well, I didn't have to pay for it, but I did because she is important to me and I wanted her by my side.  The other bridesmaid I am throwing a shower for in 2 weeks (she gets married a month before me).  I am not in her wedding, but was asked to host a shower (by her sister, the other one that blew me off), I said sure, I didn't mind and was glad to help.  I know she's busy, but I think they could have at least called.

I know all they have to do is show up, buy a dress, and be sober....but I gotta admit I am really hurt that I got blown off to the point they couldn't even pick up a phone and say, "hey sorry we can't make it." and then kind of make a remark about me already being married once (seven years ago) really hurt my feelings.  I know I'm a second time bride, but I didn't have a shower the first time, so I think she is confusing me with someone else, but it just kind of sucked. Of course my other bridesmaids want me to kick her out, which I am not going to do. But am I right to be upset or am I being too sensitive and over-emotional? My period is around the corner....PMS maybe?

image

June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

Re: I know I shouldn't be, but I'm a little upset with Bridesmaids *long*

  • Options
    I don't blame you for being upset. No they are not required to throw or even attend the shower, but if you RSVP "yes" to something and then don't show up, that's just a crappy thing to do. Then to put the softball pictures on FB...that's just kind of adding insult to injury. 

    I'm sorry they're acting this way, and you're allowed to be hurt but give it a little time and then try to move on. On your wedding day you will be so happy this will be barely a distant memory. 
  • Options
    Well, it totally sucks that they RSVPed yes and then didn't come, and didn't even tell you they weren't coming.  That would hurt my feelings too.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Options
    PookiesonPookieson member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    edited April 2013
    I guess it hurts more because I am actually throwing the other bridesmaid a shower and I bought the other one's dress.  I almost feel like it's a giant "hey....eff-you".  Oh FI is also DJing the other bridesmaid wedding for free and he DJ'd MOH wedding for free (years ago) and I threw her her bridal shower, bachelorette party and her baby shower.  Not that they owe me anything at all, I don't expect parties, but they could have at least called.  We've been friends for 17 years, and I guess it's just a reality check as to how much our friendship really matters.  I guess I'm struggling most realizing that perhaps our lives are going different directions and our friendship may not outlast these changes.  :(

    image

    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

  • Options
    My feelings would be severely hurt as well. I'm sorry. The good thing now is that you've learned to lower your expectations.
  • Options
    Yeah they're really being bad friends, that sucks :-(
  • Options
    It sucks they did that. I'd be upset too. And good for you that you're not kicking anyone out, that is the ultimate friendship ender. It does suck when some friendships fade over time, but in all honesty, I'd rather that happen than to deliberately end a friendship. Both suck.

    Besides that issue, hope your shower went well!
    image
    Married as of June 22, 2013!!!

    image
  • Options
    I'm sorry to hear this.  It's really sucky.  When I was getting married, I invited my bff (of 20+ years) to my shower and wedding.  She didn't come to either.  Needless to say we're no longer bff's.  We only keep in touch now over FB.  It's really sad.  These kinds of things make you realize though how friends can grow apart even if there was never a fight or anything.  
  • Options
    My feelings would be hurt, too. How was your shower otherwise?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Options
    edited April 2013
    You need to tell them how you feel and how they're coming off.


    ETA: It sounds like there's either something you're not telling us or something they're not telling you.



    Anniversary
    image

    image
  • Options
    No nothing else is going on that I know of anyways. I am not saying anything to them and I don't intend to. Otherwise....my shower was FANTASTIC! I have a really great family and a great bunch of friends. I just realized I should have maybe made better choices for the wedding party ; by other bridesmaids really went above and beyond. I may have some friends who are being crappy, but I have some really great ones too. :

    image

    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_i-know-i-shouldnt-be-but-im-a-little-upset-with-bridesmaids-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:44c4d31d-d3fa-4767-8c56-c8541c1a4b8cPost:d5fd7158-f068-4a5c-956d-2209a9f4d24f">Re: I know I shouldn't be, but I'm a little upset with Bridesmaids *long*</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel all the feels for you. I had some friends do the same thing to me. Last year was pretty much the year of blowing me off; my shower, my bachelorette, my birthday (when they said they were coming), my wedding, News Year Eve, all of it. It hurt like Hell (I admit I spent my birthday crying into the shrimp cups I baked, like a toddler), but it did wake me up to who was there. Those people are the real friends, and it's from the actions of others that you kind of realize how great your other friends really are. Dude, I'm getting so many feels from this. I have to go call my best friend.
    Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

    I would cried into your shrimp cups with you.  Also....now I want shrimp cups.

    image

    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

  • Options
    I would be upset too!  Sorry they were bad friends.  Its one thing to have to miss it and let you know, be apologetic; but to say they are coming and then not show (for reasons they could done before or after your shower) does suck. 

    Hugs to you, and just remember the people who did show and how much they love you.  I just would just not expect much form these friends in the future so you are not let down.  I have friends like this too, and i just have lowered my expectations, so when they do show I am happy to see them, rather than being upset when they do not show up. 

    image

    Anniversary
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards