Am I asking too much of my bridesmaids?

AngelaReneeClaire

I feel like I'm not being too picky, but correct me if I'm wrong, please? Maybe a bit of a rant.

I've asked them to find a short dress with a floral pattern that involves some kind of purple. It doesn't matter the shade or really how much purple. I just thought that would keep them at least a little cohesive. Those are pretty much my only guidelines.

Originally, I asked for a short all purple dress. Varying shades was fine, avoiding the very blue-purple if possible. It could have whatever detailing, etc. But they were having a hard time with that. 

Once the spring trends started coming out more, it thought floral could be easier because it's all over the place and one of my girls even asked about it during the original plan. I asked if they would all like to switch to floral. They liked the idea and agreed.

Now I'm hearing they're having a hard time again. On top of it, one of my bridesmaids just messaged me a photo of a solid blue-purple dress asking me if it was okay. Umm... After they had all agreed on floral. I'm so confused. She told me she was just having a hard time finding floral and I guess assumed it was okay to switch back to the first plan? What am I supposed to say to that?

Anyway, I've suggested having their dress chosen by around the beginning of July, but again I'm flexible on the deadline. The wedding is August 3rd. I've posted lots of different dress suggestions, and have gotten only a little feed back. Told them if they have any questions, concerns, or need my opinion to let me know.

Am I doing something wrong or should I stick to the plan?

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_am-i-asking-too-much-of-my-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:c1dca967-19f7-4b29-b208-c6d200977102Post:be6b7842-1e36-4564-936f-8ba2253628cb">Am I asking too much of my bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel like I'm not being too picky, but correct me if I'm wrong, please? Maybe a bit of a rant. I've asked them to find a short dress with a floral pattern that involves some kind of purple. It doesn't matter the shade or really how much purple. I just thought that would keep them at least a little cohesive. Those are pretty much my only guidelines. Originally, I asked for a short all purple dress. Varying shades was fine, avoiding the very blue-purple if possible. It could have whatever detailing, etc. But they were having a hard time with that.  Once the spring trends started coming out more, it thought floral could be easier because it's all over the place and one of my girls even asked about it during the original plan. I asked if they would all like to switch to floral. They liked the idea and agreed. Now I'm hearing they're having a hard time again. On top of it, one of my bridesmaids just messaged me a photo of a solid blue-purple dress asking me if it was okay. Umm... After they had all agreed on floral. I'm so confused. She told me she was just having a hard time finding floral and I guess assumed it was okay to switch back to the first plan? What am I supposed to say to that? Anyway, I've suggested having their dress chosen by around the beginning of July, but again I'm flexible on the deadline. The wedding is August 3rd. I've posted lots of different dress suggestions, and have gotten only a little feed back. Told them if they have any questions, concerns, or need my opinion to let me know. Am I doing something wrong or should I stick to the plan?
Posted by AngelaReneeClaire[/QUOTE]


I think you've confused them.

1. Find 3-4 dresses you like.
2. Send email to bridesmaids containing links to the dresses
3. Ask them to purchase one of those dresses, or anything similar, by July whatever.
4. Don't worry about it anymore

AddieCake

I don't think you're doing anything wrong. There's purple floral everywhere. When we were shopping for dresses, we were looking for CORAL floral, and that proved more difficult, so we ended up with beige with white polka dots. But while shopping, I was wishing my colors were purple b/c there were tons of purple florals!

bunni727

That's pretty specific. Just doing a quick search of my go-to sites, I'm not seeing very many options for purple floral. Do you think maybe you could do some of the legwork to make it easier on them? Get a budget, then send them links to dresses that you think would look good on them.

My girls picked their own dresses, technically, but they all had a hard time choosing, since they had never chosen their own BM dress before. Eventually I sent each of them links to a few that I thought would look good on them, and they chose from there.

This one is cute, but super short: http://shopruche.com/woodrose-printed-dress.html

This one could work: http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/petal-to-the-meadow-dress

AngelaReneeClaire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_am-i-asking-too-much-of-my-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:c1dca967-19f7-4b29-b208-c6d200977102Post:684661eb-9779-46e3-9a00-917e012cf9a3">Re: Am I asking too much of my bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]That's pretty specific. Just doing a quick search of my go-to sites, I'm not seeing very many options for purple floral. Do you think maybe you could do some of the legwork to make it easier on them? Get a budget, then send them links to dresses that you think would look good on them. My girls picked their own dresses, technically, but they all had a hard time choosing, since they had never chosen their own BM dress before. Eventually I sent each of them links to a few that I thought would look good on them, and they chose from there. This one is cute, but super short: <a href="http://shopruche.com/woodrose-printed-dress.html" rel="nofollow">http://shopruche.com/woodrose-printed-dress.html</a> This one could work: <a href="http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/petal-to-the-meadow-dress" rel="nofollow">http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/petal-to-the-meadow-dress</a>
Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

<div>Good advice! I've actually been doing that since we started talking about dresses, I'm pretty sure I've posted about 50 suggestions on our "bridesmaid thread" on facebook, both of those dresses included. Sometimes they say they like them, but never anything further and I don't want to push them. I've also posted a list of all of my go-to websites for them to look at if they want. </div><div>
</div><div>Again, it doesn't have to be dominantly purple, either. Just some purple involved somewhere!</div><div>
</div><div>One of my girls actually said she was going to get the woodrose one. I told her I loved it and then she never actually bought it. I've kinda hinted at buying it a few times recently, but she seems to side step the topic. Maybe she just wants to keep looking, but I have no idea, I can't get a straight answer...</div>

AngelaReneeClaire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_am-i-asking-too-much-of-my-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:c1dca967-19f7-4b29-b208-c6d200977102Post:0e1b5ab9-117e-4cd8-a1ba-7428dfdc6be0">Re: Am I asking too much of my bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Am I asking too much of my bridesmaids? : I think you've confused them. 1. Find 3-4 dresses you like. 2. Send email to bridesmaids containing links to the dresses 3. Ask them to purchase one of those dresses, or anything similar, by July whatever. 4. Don't worry about it anymore
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha, perhaps. But I've always told them if they have any questions or concerns to let me know!</div><div>I have given them suggestions, but I don't think I can just pick 3-4, because every one of their body types and styles are different and I want them to be comfortable. I don't know their body as well as they do and I know it sucks to buy a dress that you'll never wear again.</div>

AngelaReneeClaire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_am-i-asking-too-much-of-my-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:c1dca967-19f7-4b29-b208-c6d200977102Post:833ce0d2-0d7f-48b5-a7b4-21500b8b6366">Re: Am I asking too much of my bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think you're doing anything wrong. There's purple floral everywhere. When we were shopping for dresses, we were looking for CORAL floral, and that proved more difficult, so we ended up with beige with white polka dots. But while shopping, I was wishing my colors were purple b/c there were tons of purple florals!
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks for that, I'm glad to hear it's not impossible and I'm not crazy! :)</div>

bunni727

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_am-i-asking-too-much-of-my-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:c1dca967-19f7-4b29-b208-c6d200977102Post:fb7b00ee-4f39-412c-a455-56f45c49313d">Re: Am I asking too much of my bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Am I asking too much of my bridesmaids? : Good advice! I've actually been doing that since we started talking about dresses, I'm pretty sure I've posted about 50 suggestions on our "bridesmaid thread" on facebook, both of those dresses included. Sometimes they say they like them, but never anything further and I don't want to push them. I've also posted a list of all of my go-to websites for them to look at if they want.  Again, it doesn't have to be dominantly purple, either. Just some purple involved somewhere! One of my girls actually said she was going to get the woodrose one. I told her I loved it and then she never actually bought it. I've kinda hinted at buying it a few times recently, but she seems to side step the topic. Maybe she just wants to keep looking, but I have no idea, I can't get a straight answer...
Posted by AngelaReneeClaire[/QUOTE]

She may be waiting for a good sale. It's available at modcloth and ruche ($10 less at ruche) but both sites have things go on sale pretty often, and short shipping times. The only reason she would need to order it more than a month or two in advance would be worry of it being discontinued.

If you aren't requsting a specific dress, especially from a bridal salon, there's not much of a rush for them. They can always find something off the rack at the last minute.

fuerst37

I let my bridesmaids pick any knee length red dress (They picked the color and length about five months before the wedding.) They looked beautiful in the end, but I remember in the middle of it being ready to scream. One of them picked her dress the week before the wedding. Another one announced regularly she had her dress and then would change her mind, and the third one kept being worried she would buy something which was less red than a "red with hints of orange shading," which wasn't something I cared about. All that to say, if you've given them some ideas, and they aren't asking questions, they probably want to find the perfect dress at the perfect price. Don't worry about it--they'll be beautiful, and so will you.

hyechica81

are all the bms around the same size or in the same size catagory? do you have any plus size mades if so that could be the reason they are having a hard time finding a dress check out j crew they make bridesmaid dresses 

Jessica41381

Not asking alot at all. With my bridesmaids, we all went to David's bridal and my only request was the color. Any style was up to their own personal preference and what they felt most comfortable it and that worked out great! Everyone found their favorite and we are all ready for Aug 3, 2013!

theretamaragoes

Have YOU looked at all for dresses that meet your criteria? Did you find any? It seems like a dress in that description would be easy enough to find... but unless you're actually out there searching, you just don't know.

Help your bridesmaids out by going online yourself and sending them some links to AFFORDABLE dresses that fit your criteria.

If you, yourself, are unable to find any dresses... you may need to sit down with your girls and rethink things a bit

Good luck!

emeejeeayen

I made a pinterest page with literally hundreds of options that linked directly back to where they could buy the dresses. It helped them see how mismatched could still look cohesive, and it also gave them plenty of options in plenty of budget ranges to choose from easily without searching high and low.