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Should my soon to be FIL's girlfriend sit with the family? Divorced parents

My fiance's parents are divorced but do get along and have been good for the most part through out this process... My fiance's father is the best man and his brother is a groomsman. They both have girlfriends that I would consider serious, not engaged or even close really but together about a year and attend holidays this year etc. When deciding the seating arrangement for the ceremony of the families the grooms mother, who is re-married, said they should sit back with the rest of the congregation. We have three rows reserved for family on each side with a total of 22 seats for bride and 22 seats for the groom side. The bride has 19 family members taking up most of the three rows. The groom on the other hand, since his father and brother are in the wedding, only has 11 family members, leaving 3 empty seats in row two and an entire row empty. Where should I seat the girlfriends??? With the family? In the third empty reserved row? or in the congregation???

Re: Should my soon to be FIL's girlfriend sit with the family? Divorced parents

  • IMy father in law and brother in law are both in the wedding so they won't be sitting with them during the ceremony. The reception is not assigned so there is nothing to worry about there. n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-my-soon-to-be-fils-girlfriend-sit-with-the-family-divorced-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:bf9f2994-ab1e-444b-8794-626a978376b3Post:470eea7e-0810-48c5-888e-98fc734522ba">Re: Should my soon to be FIL's girlfriend sit with the family? Divorced parents</a>:
    [QUOTE]You seat her right beside him, of course! To do so otherwise is a gross insult to her - and him. Seating her anywhere else is saying, "Oh, you aren't part of the family.....what DO I do with you?  I know.....I'll put you over there, out of our way." Suppose he marries her eventually.  She won't forget that.  You've also separated HIM from his date.  At an event that is supposed to CELEBRATE coupling. Think about it.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
  • The nicest thing you can possibly do to yourself is to just throw out assigned seating.  People can seat themselves, no problemo.

    If you however insist on it, do not under any circumstances, force couples to split.  It's seriously nasty.  It will not reflect well on you at all.  AT ALL.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I answered on your other thread. In the future, can you please put XP in your title so people know it's the same thread?  Thanks! Smile
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-my-soon-to-be-fils-girlfriend-sit-with-the-family-divorced-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:bf9f2994-ab1e-444b-8794-626a978376b3Post:bfbc3c9c-f586-457c-abd0-91787e1ca142">Re: Should my soon to be FIL's girlfriend sit with the family? Divorced parents</a>:
    [QUOTE]The nicest thing you can possibly do to yourself is to <strong>just throw out assigned seating.</strong>  People can seat themselves, no problemo. If you however insist on it, do not under any circumstances, force couples to split.  It's seriously nasty.  It will not reflect well on you at all.  AT ALL.
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

    All  of this, especially the bolded
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  • If you are set on reserving seats, I said option 1.  However, if mothers/grandparents/whoever are being escorted in, I would just have a Reserved sign on the first row or two, seat the VIPs there, and everyone else will seat themselves.  There is no need to tell anyone else exactly where to sit.
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  • At a recent wedding I was separated from my husband throughout the entire wedding and reception because of the seating charts. We were friends of the groom and not the bride. So me and the other wives of the groom's friends were situated at a table in the very back FAR FAR away from the festivities and our husbands. After dinner our husbands had to come find us to dance, and then during the speeches and so forth they had to go back to their table. I have no idea what that was about, but none of the wives at the table were happy.
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