Wedding Woes

aunt in the way!

soo, I have been engaged for a month. We are getting married in July (yes quick, i know). I had previously planned to get married in a small beach setting, just my fiance and I. Since the parents objected, we are having a small gathering (ceremony and dinner, no formal reception). Originally it was only the immediate families (parents and siblings), then it was extended to Aunts and Uncles, (not all of them) and a couple adult cousins. The group is now approx 30. I have even excluded plus ones, unless the couple is married or engaged. Well, now to my point! My fiance's aunt's sister, so not even a direct relative of my fiance, from the begining and even a few months prior has been bugging me to discuss my plans and she wants to be involved. She has gone so far as to call bakeries, flower shops, have people from venues call me and to "invite" people she knows. My fiance and I have already picked our place and finalized our guest list. She IS invited, as well as her husband even though they are not "Aunts and Uncles". She has also voiced an opinion on the "no plus ones" and told me that thats not how a wedding should be. At Easter dinner, she asked me 101 questions and made me uncomfortable. I kept cool and politely told her I would look into everything she suggested and asked about. I told her if anything came up for her to do, I would tell her. This past weekend she again confronted me at a house party for her sister, and was telling me about the cake she was planning and the flowers she was thinking about. I lost my cool this time. I snapped that I had it worked out, and thanks but no thanks!  She flipped and said I was a brat and selfish and should let her help. She has 3 children who will one day get married, she doesnt need to be involved in my wedding! Isnt it supposed to be about me and my fiance? Any suggestions on how to handle her would be appreciated... she is mad and doesnt want to talk to me until I "hear her out", which is basically decide to use/do something she suggests. She is close to my fiance, so removing her from the guest list isnt an option. She is also telling many family members and family friends how they "arent invited" because I (not the fiance) "didnt want them there". This isn't true, its what WE planned. Help!! And we should have eloped!!

Re: aunt in the way!

  • fmbyofmbyo member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    She sounds like a psycho. Is this a surprising way for her to be? My guess is she's like this in all walks of life. Just ignore her, have your wedding, and if she wants to be there, in the only aspect you want her there (a guest) fine, and if not, no skin off your back.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_aunt-in-the-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1522c7c1-a317-4cf9-b901-e6880ca98dcePost:bdda258f-a07e-4c36-834b-8c93210895fd">aunt in the way!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">I have even excluded plus ones, unless the couple is married or engaged.</span>
    Posted by ChristinaMae4[/QUOTE]

    <div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;"> People in a relationship should be invited as a couple. It is extremely rude to invite 'Aunt Jane' but not her boyfriend 'Frank' because they are not engaged or married. T</span><span style="background-color:#ffffff;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;">heir significant other should be invited with them, regardless of the length of the relationship, whether you have met them, ect. </span></div>
    Its not the destination so much as the journey, they say. - Captain Jack Sparrow Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • WzzWzz member
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    i think in the case of the OP, it's ultimately her decision on who to invite to her wedding as a plus one. it wasn't even the point of her post. her aunt is overstepping, and she needs to get a ho sit down card.
  • I suspect that the aunt's kids aren't going to let her "help" with the wedding, either.  I know I wouldn't if I were them.
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  • Ok - she is close to your FI and she is lying to family members and telling them they aren't invited because YOU didn't want them there.   FI needs to get on the phone and talk to her about her behavior and lying to family members.

    We've heard what you have done - what is he doing to put a stop to this?  She sounds horrid and you don't need to hear her out.  This is your wedding and  you have got it covered.  FI needs to communicate that to her.
  • I agree - your FI needs to do some damage control.  And don't feel bad about losing it - judging from your post, you did everything you could to keep your cool, telling her things were handled and not sharing wedding details . . . and yet she still persisted.  She was definitely otu of line.  Why this obsession with your wedding?  I weep for her children and what their wedding planning will be like. 

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