and the story gets better

LnR70707

Apparently my days of epic wedding messes are not behind me.  If the rest of the week and weekend continue on this path, monday's recap should be legendary.

So my advice to DH to steer clear of the bride lasted half a day.  Not directly his fault, but he totally stepped in it when talking to the groom earlier by asking if things were ok.  Groom had no clue about the text.  Needless to say, he was not pleased.  Shortly after, the bride calls my H bawling about how she doesn't want to get married, he loves some car he is working more than her, etc, etc.   Yeah, I know.  WTF.   DH talks her off a ledge and gets her calmed down, and basically tells her he thinks it is great that she sees him as a friend, but he doesn't know her any better than I do at this point, as a guy he doesn't really get the wedding drama, and she is free to call me.   Apparently the coming home drunk arguement has happened a few times in the last year, which is news to us, and DH reitterated his assessment that groom was perfectly fine to drive, but seeing as how none of the other incidents involved him, it really wasn't fair to go off on him this time.  So yeah, its weird and since we don't know her that well all we can do is hope this isn't a mistake.

AuntFlo

This is so completely bizarre.  Does the groom know the latest developments?  I would just make sure he knows everything that's going on.  Weird.

LnR70707

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_and-the-story-gets-better?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:224b0896-cb09-444e-9c37-349d4ae700f1Post:d2cd8447-093b-45e6-a765-df6048af23e6">Re: and the story gets better</a>:
[QUOTE]This is so completely bizarre.  Does the groom know the latest developments?  I would just make sure he knows everything that's going on.  Weird.
Posted by AuntFlo[/QUOTE]

Not this conversation and of course after the meltdown and she got hold of herself she asked Rich not to say anything.  As of right now, he (DH) isn't going to say anything, as it would cause an even bigger mess, but told her she needs to sit him down and have a serious discussion with him.  It is up to them to sort their stuff out, H can't keep being the go between.  Maybe that is the wrong decision, but we don't have any experience giving us foresight here.

Wzz

i know you didn't ask for input, but i can't help but wonder if this is going to turn out bad for your H. she shouldn't be asking him to keep secrets from her FI.  and even though she has no local friends or family (which is weird, the girl should have SOMEONE to talk to besides rich), she should really not be relying on her fiance's friend for support.

sorry. this just screams red flag to me, and your H is being a really great guy in all of this. i can't help but think that it's going to bite hiim inthe butt for it later.

LnR70707

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_and-the-story-gets-better?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:224b0896-cb09-444e-9c37-349d4ae700f1Post:6173be42-68fc-4ca5-9159-bfc474cb523a">Re: and the story gets better</a>:
[QUOTE]i know you didn't ask for input, but i can't help but wonder if this is going to turn out bad for your H. she shouldn't be asking him to keep secrets from her FI.  and even though she has no local friends or family (which is weird, the girl should have SOMEONE to talk to besides rich), she should really not be relying on her fiance's friend for support. sorry. this just screams red flag to me, and your H is being a really great guy in all of this. i can't help but think that it's going to bite hiim inthe butt for it later.
Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

This is pretty much the exact convo we had after the phone call

Heffalump

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_and-the-story-gets-better?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:224b0896-cb09-444e-9c37-349d4ae700f1Post:209598b4-85f5-45cb-b97c-b6069f1e9f18">and the story gets better</a>:
[QUOTE]DH talks her off a ledge and gets her calmed down, and basically tells her he thinks it is great that she sees him as a friend, but he doesn't know her any better than I do at this point, as a guy he doesn't really get the wedding drama, <strong>and she is free to call me</strong>.  
Posted by L&R70707[/QUOTE]
You're a good woman not to shiv your H over the bolded part.  Crazy needs a buffer, even if it's your poor H.

Wzz

(while i get the humor...)

i think he was right to say that, because she shouldn't be reaching out to someone else's husband for this type of stuff. it's bizarre that she is flat out refusing to contact L at ALL, even with it being suggested more than a few times.

LnR70707

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_and-the-story-gets-better?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:224b0896-cb09-444e-9c37-349d4ae700f1Post:4dd31a2a-0654-42bb-80db-bdb0e2ba8c82">Re: and the story gets better</a>:
[QUOTE](while i get the humor...) i think he was right to say that, because she shouldn't be reaching out to someone else's husband for this type of stuff. it's bizarre that she is flat out <strong>refusing to contact L at ALL</strong>, even with it being suggested more than a few times.
Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

Oh we've talked on FB and I'm Cced on timeline emails and whatnot, but apparently crazy outbursts are reserved for H.

baconsmom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_and-the-story-gets-better?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:224b0896-cb09-444e-9c37-349d4ae700f1Post:4dd31a2a-0654-42bb-80db-bdb0e2ba8c82">Re: and the story gets better</a>:
[QUOTE](while i get the humor...) i think he was right to say that, because she shouldn't be reaching out to someone else's husband for this type of stuff. it's bizarre that she is flat out refusing to contact L at ALL, even with it being suggested more than a few times.
Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]
I was trying to find the problem. Is this really it? What if she doesn't like L as much? <div>
</div><div>I find it odd that she should have to call a woman just because she's a woman. Maybe she's looking for guidance from someone who knows her fiance fairly well - as his best friend would. </div><div>
</div><div>*shrugs* I wouldn't find it odd that someone wanted to be friends with my H, or considered him more of a friend than me. </div>

Wzz

it's an innapropriate relationship. she shouldn't be looking to her FI's friend for support when she has a FI. the friend (rich) is HIS friend before hers. she doesn't have to be friends with L because L is female, but L doesn't have the same ties to her FI that rich does. it's a conflict of interest. it's also putting rich in an awkward position that he shouldn't be in.

if it were just for the sake of friendship, then whatever. i still don't agree with it, but maybe that's going to depend on the person. but clearly she isn't looking for comfort.

this might be an "agree to disagree" sort of thing, but for the majority of people i know, this is an innapropriate communication and it may just turn out badly. i've never seen this sort of situation turn out well with a big ol' heart drawn in the sand and a 4 way BFF relationship.

baconsmom

Well, I don't think she should be airing dirty laundry to anyone, so I think we agree on that. I just would find it odd if someone called my H and he was all, "Why don't you talk to BM, because she's a girl".