FI hates being center of attention. He would push me in a mud puddle if it got the attention off him (not really, but you get the idea). In starting to plan this thing, we agreed to keep it small, intimate, with some immediate close family and a friend or two. Last night, he admitted a huge preference for us going to USVI or St Augustine or similar and eloping. I respect his wishes, but I'm a bit conflicted. Reasons below....
1) I don't want a huge wedding, but I am my Mom's only child. It would absolutely crush her not to see me get married, and I really want her there with my Dad, have Dad walk me, his youngest, down the aisle or at least be there to enjoy the moment (FI understands this point, esp since Dad is in not so great health).
2) I'm apprehensive about planning an elopement in say, the Virgin Islands from a distance. Definitely don't want to get screwed financially, plus it's the same cost for the two of us to go there as it is for us to throw an intimate wedding up here.
3) Hearing thru the grape vine that some extended fam on FI's side are looking at our wedding as their family reunion. Um, no. Sorry. I understand wanting to catch up, but if FI hasn't heard from you in 15 years, why would you be invited to an intimate, immediate family only wedding? (I forsee waves resulting from this. Not trying to be nasty. Just feel that going 15 years without a peep does not mean auto invite because "they are family." Also smacks of us appearing gift grabby to me).
4) Actually warming up to the idea of eloping, not sure how to tell the folks, as they've offered to pay. Also anticipating some sort of "WHAAAA?" coming over the phone after I worked to get Dad over here to look at venues and got approval on one (he's super picky).
Ultimately, the decision has to be between FI and me. Has anyone else had a similar situation? Did you decide to go with a super small wedding, or did you elope? Good thoughts and vibes are welcome!