When I was planing my wedding last year, I didn't understand why everyone on he was so critical of the things that people posted. I had a simple wedding and never really asked anything of anyone.
But last week I went to my DBs DW. It was four days long. I had to take a week off from work, and empty my bank account to be able to afford it. My DB is very wealthy and insisted they have a very classy wedding, but yet still insisted our parents pay for his RD, saying "it IS tradition, you know." My mom caved because she felt bad, so my father began having anxiety issues, to the point where we now think he is going to need therapy. I kid you not. When I told DB about my dads issues a week before his wedding, he said "jeez, we have enough stress right now. I hope he doesn't have a problem and ruin our wedding."
Part of the four day festivities was a b-party of sorts. I was told it was going to be a bar crawl and I said sure, H and I would attend and then leave when we had enough. I received an email from the MOH a few days before saying that this is a coordinated event, and it would be $60 for me and H to attend. I asked my DB wtf the money was for and he told me there would be a bus taking us around. Ok whatever. But when the time came, it was rigidly scheduled event that had set time frames, including a dinner before hand and.... Get this... No bus. I paid $60 for us to walk down the road to a bar, buy our own ridiculously expensive drink, and not be able to even talk to anyone because we were being talked at by a "tour guide." We left after the first stop because we could not afford another.
The RD was very ritzy, but H and I spent the whole time trying to keep my father sane. The wedding ceremony the next day was nice, but the reception was ridiculous. The food was good except that the sides were all really gross. No one ate them. Then, it all ended at 9:30pm. All that, for a reception that was only a couple hours long.
They had also planned a brunch the next day, and DB got mad when he heard that my dad wanted to get back home. He knew H and I were not attending, as we had had enough, but my parents did end up staying for the brunch out of guilt.
Over all, what I learned from this is that I see why people on TK are so critical.... To avoid crap like this. Being a DW, I felt like that was more than enough to ask of people, but having a ton of events that were rigidly planned (we were often told "you MUST be on time to this" for some of these little parties they had). So I think anyone who is in the planning process, remember that while your wedding should reflect you and your H, it should also be gentle on guests. You may want a certain thing, but think about whether or not anyone else can afford that, or would even like that. Pretty simply.... Do not ask that much of your guests.