Marriage counselor vs financial counselor

rdaneel65

I couldn't figure out where to post this but hoping this would work. I'm getting married in less than 3 months. This morning I woke up and realized we have a ton of stuff left to do including figuring out how to merge finances after we are married. Have any of you had financial counseling? Or marriage counseling to talk about finances? Any advice on which route to take? (Only looking for secular ideas. We are not religious). Thanks

DG1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_marriage-counselor-vs-financial-counselor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:a441d31c-545d-4907-aebe-023cbb6e5f1fPost:1c4ccd72-a97f-4b41-8b07-44c5cadd289b">Marriage counselor vs financial counselor</a>:
[QUOTE]I couldn't figure out where to post this but hoping this would work. I'm getting married in less than 3 months. This morning I woke up and realized we have a ton of stuff left to do including figuring out how to merge finances after we are married. Have any of you had financial counseling? Or marriage counseling to talk about finances? Any advice on which route to take? (Only looking for secular ideas. We are not religious). Thanks
Posted by rdaneel65[/QUOTE]

<div>There are many different ways to merge (or not) finances, and there's a good chance you can figure it out without involving a third party.</div><div>
</div><div>How would YOU like to handle postnuptial finances? How would he? Are those two things even different?</div><div>
</div><div>ETA: I'm also wondering what else is on your list. Have you discussed children? Dealing with nosy in-laws (on either side)? Where to live? Whose career will take priority? Money is a pretty big thing to not talk about until 3 months before the wedding.</div>

GBCK

i2i w/ DG1

Honestly, I'd say that seeing both types of advisor right now would be good.

Because...well, among other things you talk as if merging finances has 1 right way--which kinda means you may not have looked at the other options.

Or, say, religion.  You say you're not religious--great.  What happens when one of you changes his/her mind on that in 5 years?

If you've discussed kids, what happens when someone changes his/her mind on THAT in 5 years?

You have a plan for inlaws--what happens when the relationship w/ certain people fundamentally change and you 2 end up on differnt pages.

(all of the above have happened in my marriage in the last 10 years)

A bit part of the 'prep' isn't figuring out the plan, it's figuring out what you'll do to come up with a plan B.

And I think a good marriage counselor can help w/ that sort of pre-marital counseling.

But the nitty gritty budget stuff can usually benefit from a pro that just deals w/ that.

AprilH81

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_marriage-counselor-vs-financial-counselor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:a441d31c-545d-4907-aebe-023cbb6e5f1fPost:1c4ccd72-a97f-4b41-8b07-44c5cadd289b">Marriage counselor vs financial counselor</a>:
[QUOTE]I couldn't figure out where to post this but hoping this would work. I'm getting married in less than 3 months. This morning I woke up and realized we have a ton of stuff left to do including figuring out how to merge finances after we are married. Have any of you had financial counseling? Or marriage counseling to talk about finances? Any advice on which route to take? (Only looking for secular ideas. We are not religious). Thanks
Posted by rdaneel65[/QUOTE]

<div>Counciling won't hurt, but I don't think it is necessary at this point.  For the financial issues you need to have a discussion about income, debt, retirement planning and spending habits.  Then make a JOINT plan on how you are going to manage your finances.  There is no right/wrong way, it is what works for you as a couple.</div><div>
</div><div>You can fully merge finances, you can have a joint account for household accounts and keep everything else "private" or you can each "own" certain bills.  Whatever you BOTH decide will work for you.</div>