Dear Starshine...

CandCWedding2013

I often enjoy reading the replies you smart ladies have to Dear Prudence so here is one for Dear Starshine....
Dear Starshine,I haven't spoken to my drama-queen mother-in-law for nearly three years. It dates back to the time she visited my husband and me when we had been married for two years, and told him that I was using him, that she didn't think I had ever loved him, and that he should divorce me and come live with her. She claimed that his old high-school job was waiting for him, and that she had remodeled his old room. Now whenever my in-laws visit, I go home to see my family. My husband still visits his parents at their home a few times a year without me. He thinks I should just get over it and try to make up with his mother. I'm still disappointed that he didn't defend me to her, and I don't think I should just overlook her desire to end our marriage, or pretend it never happened. This woman is such trouble that her own mother, sister, and two step-daughters won't have anything to do with her. Am I being stubborn?

VarunaTT

Hell, even I only had to stick to my guns for a year.

Mother needs to make up with DIL, not the other way around.  And if husband doesn't support, his ass can sit on a cold damn curb and be single.

alikatt17

I'm curious how old they are if he can still get back his "old high school job."

DG1

I know. LIke this is appealing in some way? I can't imagine MIL telling H, "Baby boy, just quit that biochemist stuff, move back home, and work at steak & shake again. It'll be great!" 

alikatt17

But think of the free burgers and shakes, DG!

CandCWedding2013

The Reply from Starshine ->

Of course you're being stubborn. You're working hard to be stubborn. But that doesn't mean she's not a deranged dragon lady.Presuming that she was wrong here — that you're not using your husband, you do love him, and heshouldn't divorce you — she seems to be a lonely shrew with control issues.  Do not run and hide from this woman. Do not give her that power. Don't let her dictate who travels where and when in your family. Your husband ignored her ridiculous rant; surely you can find a way to do the same.Start by remembering that she's a human being, flawed and sad. And that you have something in common: A deep appreciation and love for the guy she brought into this world, and you ended up marrying. Delusional as she may be now, she had an undeniable role in making your husband into the man that you love. But do this one other thing for me, will you? Tell your beloved spouse that if he fails to defend you the next time his mother speaks ill of you, you know an empty bedroom that he can have all to himself.

ReturnOfKuus

I think Starshine was too easy on the husband.