Frustrated with finding a church

Ksurach

I recently tried to see about having our wedding at church I attended off and on during high school and where I had worked in the nursery. Since I am not and never was an acutally member of the church, they said no.

My fiance and I are not currently members of any church but I always planned on getting married in one. Totally stressed right now and don't know what to do

Has anyone else had this problem? Thanks.

alikatt17

Why not just join the church then?

6fsn

Churches are about the faith not the building.  Most communities try to preserve what they feel is a sacrament so they don't just let people use the place.  If you want to get married in a church then you best be finding one.

dharmabunny

There's no nondenominational chapel rental or anything like that?

Wzz

you might want to try speaking with the people at the church where you received your sacraments about being married. you'll probably need those sacraments anyway if you want a church wedding, and it might be best to start there and get your paperwork in order before picking a church. they may also want to see that you want to participate in their services regularly.

ETA - i assumed this was a catholic church, but i actually think a catholic church would throw a fee at you instead of flat out saying no if you've ever attended.

GBCK

I'll echo 'joining a church' as option 1.

I wasn't a memeber ofa  church when I got married--so we found a deconsecrated chapel/church, had 'our' pastor (from where we attended, where we weren't members) and split the difference--middle ground.

VarunaTT

Just out of curiousity:  If you never go to a church, why do you want to get married in one?

Knottie_22902887

If you are not a member of this or any other church, why are you planning on getting married in one? Churches are religious buildings, that are there for people of faith, not for people that want a proper looking wedding. Either join a church or get married somewhere else.

Ksurach

It's not that I never attend church or don't want to become a member at one. My fiance and I are currently in limbo with regards to housing, staying at my parents house, and are planning to move soon (but not sure exactly when/where). That is one problem. The other problem is that I am a student and because of my school hours, I work on the weekends and am unable to attend church on a regualr basis. I do practice my faith though through praryer and a daily devotional. 

I wanted to talk with the pastor at the church I had attended previously about my concerns of becoming a member due to my work schedule and moving sometime soon. I also wanted to find out more about what it meant to be a member at the church. Unfortunately, when I tried to inquire about this I was shot down by the administrative assistant continually stating they do not do weddings for non-members. If were to join a church, I don't know that I would want to join that one now.

Knottie_22902887

Churches have services on weeknights! Also I never heard of colleges having Sunday classes. I may be wrong about that, considering I went to only one college, but I do not know anyone who ever had mandatory classes on Sunday. You sound like the stereotypical "religious" American that only cares about the church on Christmas, Easter, baptisms and weddings.

Knottie_22902887

In Response to Re:Frustrated with finding a church:[QUOTE]It's not that I never attend church or don't want to become a member at one. My fiance and I are currently in limbo with regards to housing, staying at my parents house, and are planning to move soon but not sure exactly when/where. That is one problem. The other problem is that I am a student and because of my school hours, I work on the weekends and am unable to attend church on a regualr basis. I do practice my faith though through praryer and a daily devotional.nbsp;I wanted to talk with the pastor at the church I had attended previously about my concerns of becoming a member due to my work schedule and moving sometime soon. I also wanted to find out more about what it meant to be a member at the church. Unfortunately, when I tried to inquire about this I was shot down by the administrative assistant continually stating they do not do weddings for nonmembers. If were to join a church, I don't know that I would want to join that one now. Posted by Ksurach[/QUOTE]
So basically, you think the building is pretty and you are offended that they won't let some random couple that has not supported any church at all, let alone their own church have their wedding in it. Good for them! Go get married in a backyard.

hmonkey

flany, you have some serious reading comprehension issues.

Knottie_22902887

In Response to Re:Frustrated with finding a church:[QUOTE]flany, you have some serious reading comprehension issues. Posted by hmonkey[/QUOTE]
You would think a degree in English literature would have helped me, but sadly I read things, but comprehend them wrong. I need help.

hmonkey

i agree, you need help.  you should go away for a few years to find it ... and yourself.  fly away, little bird, fly fly flly