Wedding Woes

My @@ meeting with HR

Unfortunately, I called it in my previous post when I mentioned junior high lunch table drama. Someone in QA was called into HR last week for allegedly criticizing her manager while sitting at our usual lunch table.  QA is not especially a work friend of mine--she doesn't always sit with us, but another work friend just got engaged to QA's husband's bestie, so they see each other socially and sometimes QA sits with us to talk to work friend.  Personally, I have never heard QA say anything like this--it's possible, since I'm not there all the time (like when I go out for Mexican like I wanted to today), and she does seem like kind of a negative person in general, so it's not inconceivable.  But I never heard/saw the kind of behavior they accused her of.

So when I heard about this last week I was just sort of whatever, didn't care.  Fast forward to today, I go to this mysterious meeting with my manager, only to be told that HR wants to see me and we both have to go.  So of course then, despite the fact that I couldn't come up with any offenses I might have committed, my paranoia got even worse.

We have a new HR person.  I talked to her like once, when I handed in a PTO form.  So we sat down, and she mentioned that there have been "accusations" of "name calling and negative speech" from my lunch table, and while whoever reported this said that I've never said anything myself, HR lady is "concerned" for me because she "doesn't feel that it reflects well" on me to spend my lunch with "those kind of people."

Whaaaaa?  There is a core group of 4-5 people I eat lunch with regularly, none of whom are this QA chick and all of whom are awesome and funny people.  So now basically I'm being told not to eat with those bad people who are, in fact, my favorite work people and who are not bad.  And frankly, in a tone of voice that NOLA probably wouldn't use on one of her students, let alone that someone mired in middle management should be subjected to.  I mean, I'm not high and mighty, but I'm not some dumb kid who just walked in off the street, either.

So after probably the worst no-poker-face WTF look, I told her that that hasn't been my experience with that group at all, that I haven't witnessed namecalling or "negative speech" and that we intentionally don't talk about work at lunch, it's spouses/kids/other stuff outside of work.  Meanwhile, my manager, who hates confrontation, looked like he wanted to leave as badly as I did.  So HR then said that she just wanted to bring it to my attention, I said I appreciated it (I didn't), she reiterated that no one accused me of saying anything bad, I said, "Well no, because I haven't."  So then she said that if I did overhear anything, she'd appreciate it if I brought it to her attention, and all I could think was "snitches get stitches."  Which made me want to giggle.  And that would have been about the least appropriate time to giggle, which made me want to giggle even more.  And then finally she said thank you, and we said our goodbyes. 

I missed Mexican for this!  And at this restaurant, all the waiters serenade the birthday boy/girl, and then shove whipped cream in his face.  I missed whipped cream in Rob's face!  To talk about junior high lunchroom drama bullhsit.  And be spoken to like a naughty third grader.  I am not happy.

Re: My @@ meeting with HR

  • Oh, that would make me all kinds of stabby.  Snitches get stiches makes me all kinds of giggly.
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Oh my word.  That s truly jr high isht.
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    yeah, you certainly make a happy workplace when people tell HR about the lunchroom gossip and then tell people to spy on e/o.

    My WTF face is on.
  • Wow! That's a new one. Being called in for lunch time convos. Yes, I smell a spy.
    image
  • OMG.  That's just beyond ridiculous. 

    Snitches get stitches, indeed.  That made me laugh...Which is helping bring down my rage induced higher than isht BP. 
  • That's so effing bizarre.  And total BS.
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  • maybe you need to set up a meeting with New HR's boss about HR woman being a raging thundercvnt and wasting your time. :-)
  • I'm all scrunchy-faced about being able to get in trouble for complaining about your job. Isn't that, like, in the Bill of Rights or some sht? 

    Thank God there's no HR for my stupid day job. I told off a WalMart employee today and was muttering about how they're all fckers as I worked. (It was not a good day.) 
    image
  • I hope this is just one HR whackadoodle taking her job a bit too far.  Because unless you are plotting to murder people at the lunch table, it is nobody's damn business.  Venting takes all the fun out of co-worker lunches.  What else are you supposed to talk about, anyway?

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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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  • Ugh.  This is dumb.  I sort of feel like your manager should have said something when HR repeated that you had not been accused of anything.  I mean, they're telling you who you can and can't sit with at lunch?
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yeah, this is 'pieces of flair' BS.
    THey're not saying you can't sit with these people, just that you shouldn't...
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_my-meeting-with-hr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:c7a3e3ad-772a-4584-b40d-3d4764ed55a5Post:bb274315-f51f-474e-ac5b-2880d8f70782">Re: My @@ meeting with HR</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, this is 'pieces of flair' BS. THey're not saying you can't sit with these people, just that you shouldn't...
    Posted by GBCK[/QUOTE]

    This, exactly.  I have never in my life been in a situation where my employer gave a f*k about who I ate lunch with or what the topic/tone of conversations were when we ate.
  • lyndsay782lyndsay782 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    I'm with everyone who has said that you needed to go above the new HR rep and talk to her boss.  Maybe even his boss.  I don't know your company structure, but since you are the negative nancy that's causing the drama, it sounds to me like she was trying to cover her butt and so she reported your table.  

    I've worked with a person who did that.  She decided that a group of us were too close, and that since she wanted to constantly talk about other cowrkers all the time, we started to exclude her. Lunch was supposed to be non-work time, not "a whine about work session".  She reported that one of us was creating a hostile environment to HR.  The HR person was new enough that they became friends with her, and disregarded all the previous HR complaints against this person.  So we went up the chain, to HR's boss (and the prior HR person).  The upper rep dealt with the new accusations, and things were fixed.  She ended up taking a leave of absence, and last I heard, got preggers and left the company because "people were talking about her."
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