Is this somewhere I can just vent?

hannahlce

I'm hoping that this is an okay place to just vent a little bit (I'm very new, so I'm sorry if I'm mis using this).

I recently got engaged, and am so so excited. We took a week, telling family and our closest friends, and let's just face it, bask in it and keep it for ourselves. Then we told facebook, and now pretty much all of our friends and family know. We've gotten lots of well-wishes, congrats etc and it's been really nice.

I just found I'm pregnant. I am horrified since we've been very, very careful. I'm so worried that everyone is going to think that's why we're getting married. I know I should just be happy, but I've been really distraught since we found out. Even worse, I feel guilty about feeling so bad. Ugh. 

smalfrie19

A wise friend recently told me "Its none of your business what other people think about you." Don't worry if people are going to talk about "why you are getting married" etc. Be happy with your engagement and your pregnancy. Congrats on both! 

Chipmunk415

In answer to your question, yes, you can vent here, but you may also receive advice and comments.

Congratulations on your engagement and your baby!

You told your friends and family about your engagement before you learned you were pregnant. Your nearest and dearest know you and your fiancée, and will likely figure out on their own that this was unexpected. You don't have to tell anyone about your pregnancy if you don't want to. It is ok to be frightened, angry, and unhappy about an unexpected pregnancy. You may want to check out The Knot's sister site, The Bump, for additional support from folks on those boards.

You do have a choice now, however. You can plan a wedding for after the birth of your baby, or you can get married during your pregnancy. It's your choice to make with your FI. Be aware, however, that on these boards, it is frowned upon to plan a small wedding now to meet whatever circumstances you may be in, and later have a "do over" complete with dress, wedding ceremony, etc. (different from a vow renewal or a general party celebration). Your wedding is for you, your FI, and whoever you choose to enjoy your special day with. Your opinion, and your FI's are all that matter.

Again, congrats on your engagement and the baby! Lurk for a while, and search the board posts for prior queries that may be related to your own. Good luck, and keep your chin up. It will turn out ok.

hannahlce

In Response to Re:Is this somewhere I can just vent?:[QUOTE]Be aware, however, that on these boards, it is frowned upon to plan a small wedding now to meet whatever circumstances you may be in, and later have a "do over" complete with dress, wedding ceremony, etc. different from a vow renewal or a general party celebration. Your wedding is for you, your FI, and whoever you choose to enjoy your special day with. Your opinion, and your FI's are all that matter.Again, congrats on your engagement and the baby! Lurk for a while, and search the board posts for prior queries that may be related to your own. Good luck, and keep your chin up. It will turn out ok. Posted by Chipmunk415[/QUOTE]

That's not really our style anyway. If we had a small wedding prior to the birth, we would probably have a reception or maybe just an open house or something afterwards to celebrate in a way that I wouldn't be miserable. Just meaning I know I be up to too much partying down while I'm pregnant. Maybe a new dress at the reception, but by no means a wedding dress.

Our initial thought was to have the wedding
15 months or so from now, anyway, though. I don't know. I am feeling really disappointed, so I haven't given much practical thought to it , other than who we want involved.

We'll see though. Hopefully things come along a little more easily.

hannahlce

In Response to Re:Is this somewhere I can just vent?:[QUOTE]Be aware, however, that on these boards, it is frowned upon to plan a small wedding now to meet whatever circumstances you may be in, and later have a "do over" complete with dress, wedding ceremony, etc. different from a vow renewal or a general party celebration. Your wedding is for you, your FI, and whoever you choose to enjoy your special day with. Your opinion, and your FI's are all that matter.Again, congrats on your engagement and the baby! Lurk for a while, and search the board posts for prior queries that may be related to your own. Good luck, and keep your chin up. It will turn out ok. Posted by Chipmunk415[/QUOTE]

That's not really our style anyway. If we had a small wedding prior to the birth, we would probably have a reception or maybe just an open house or something afterwards to celebrate in a way that I wouldn't be miserable. Just meaning I know I be up to too much partying down while I'm pregnant. Maybe a new dress at the reception, but by no means a wedding dress.

Our initial thought was to have the wedding
15 months or so from now, anyway, though. I don't know. I am feeling really disappointed, so I haven't given much practical thought to it , other than who we want involved.

We'll see though. Hopefully things come along a little more easily.

6fsn

People are always going to speculate about something.  The people that matter know the truth.

krose83013

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. FI and I have been engaged for more than a year and a half. We are now 4 months to the wedding and we are pregnant! We are super excited about the pregnancy and it was a little bit of a surprise but still excited. People can say what they want, but the wedding has been in the works for more than a year, we've been living together for over a year, and they can honestly keep their opinions to themselves. Don't worry what others think, keep yourself calm and enjoy these moments.

fmbyo

Well, congratulations on the engagement and the pregnancy. Life doesn't always happen how we plan it, but you don't have to let this stop you. I will say - your priorities are seriously going to change when you have this child. A wedding may seem frivolous, even (I'm not saying it is, I'm just saying priorities change, and children are financially, emotionally, physically demanding.)

I would just plan a small wedding now, and do a simple reception like you said, at home or something.

Wzz

who cares, really. i have been to more baby showers than weddings over the past few years. the people who will gossip would have found something else to gossip about if you didn't get pregnant. trust me; i am a gossip.

i think an unplanned pregnancy can throw a person off. let it sink in and you'll probably feel differently in a week.