Clusterfck city

TheMrsC23

Dear Prudence,
In less than a week, my husband's mistress will lose her home. She and her three children will be homeless, as she lost her job several months ago and has no living relatives. My husband ended their affair four months ago, when I found out. But he had promised to help make some sizable mortgage payments to buy her some more time. Now that the affair has ended, we talked about whether or not he should still "honor" those payments. We agreed that, for the sake of our marriage, he should not. I know he feels guilt over the false promise he made, but he seems to feel a lot of shame about his recent behavior in general, which is one of the reasons we are making a go of it. Because there are children involved, we considered doing something. If we cut back on certain luxuries, we could afford to at least buy her a few more months. Do we have an obligation to help this woman? Am I awful for not wanting to help her, knowing she has young kids?

—Heartbroken and Morally Confused

NOLABridesmaid

Did she honor her by sleeping with her husband? The answer is no, and she didn't curse him out for even asking if she would be ok this? Really?

Wzz

she should have stopped after the first sentence, read back what she wrote, and then closed out her email program with a hearty "EFF THIS".

if she wants to help people in need, i am sure there are many places she could volunteer her time and money.

Wzz

what was the response?

TheMrsC23

Dear Heartbroken,
So you’re thinking of going without to provide a financial gift to this woman who helped almost wreck your marriage. Maybe she’s a fast enough worker that if you tide her over for a few months she can find another married mark who might pick up her bills. It’s always sad when innocent children are the victims of their parent’s bad judgment and behavior. I wonder if her tale of complete abandonment is wholly true—she has plenty of reason to make herself seem as desperate as possible, and you have evidence she’s no paragon of honesty. But if you cast your gaze over our economic landscape, you will find endless, desperate families and you simply know that you can’t bail them all out. Let’s say you give her a few months’ reprieve. I assume you aren’t going to have them move in when at the end of that time she’s still jobless and underwater with her mortgage. I’m afraid she needs to start making plans and turn to the social service agencies your tax dollars are funding and which are there to keep such families from finding themselves on the street. I understand your husband feels shame, but his enlightenment about the error of his ways came about because you caught him cheating. Without your discovery, he would have continued seeing this woman, and you would have started seeing a substantial diminution of your financial reserves. I hope your husband recognizes what a kind, compassionate wife he has in you. I hope you are seeing what you have in him equally clearly.

—Prudie

tawillers

I'm really confused as to why anyone feels they need to help this woman pay for anything.  They're not HIS kids, right?  I guess the husband needed to keep getting the nani, so he offered to pay while they were together, but now?  WTF?

Prudie called the wife compassionate.  I think she's a sucker.

TheMrsC23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_clusterfck-city?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fa7d9e54-be39-4929-8ce8-fd197c815649Post:e9bdfc57-b31c-40b4-abc1-64fa6f42613b">Re: Clusterfck city</a>:
[QUOTE]  Prudie called the wife compassionate. <strong> I think she's a sucker.</strong>
Posted by tawillers[/QUOTE]

And a doormat. 

shaylagirl

I don't...what the...what the hell is all this shyte?!!

SERIOUSLY you feel BAD for this woman?!  What an idiot!!  Unless those kids living with the ex-mistress (does anyone REALLY think she's the ex-mistress?  I don't) are HIS children, he needs to cut this woman 100% OUT of his life.  Now, if those kids are his, he should take custody and let Floozy McSkankyPants figure it out on her own.  And, if they're NOT his, then where the HECK did THEIR dads go?  Or, are their dads more married men?

This whole letter leaves me feeling dirty and disgusted.  Bleck.  />.<