Wedding Etiquette Forum

Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite?

I threw a Halloween/Housewarming Party in October and invited most people that we know which is when FI proposed to me.

 I didn't know he was going to propose to me. His mother invited people in her family that we don't really have a relationship and her friends telling them he was going to propose and that it was our engagement party.

A few of these people are her friends that we have no intention of inviting to our wedding. She seems to think that because they were present for the engagement party, that they should be invited. I keep bean dipping her but is she right etiquette wise?

I cut 8 people from my list to avoid fighting with her and have er best friend (couple) as a courtesy, and 3 sets of great aunts and uncles we don't know as a courtesy (all people she invited to our party).  Isn't that sufficient?
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You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

Re: Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I don't think you need to invite them. You were unaware it was an engagement party when you invited them, so that's not your fault.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I agree with Addie.  Since you had no clue about anything I don't think you should have to invite them.

  • Yeah, I fail to see how this is an engagement party. It was a party that you got engaged AT, not a party to celebrate your engagement.
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  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I also don't think you need to invite them. I don't get why FMIL told them it was an engagement party. It's a good thing no one came up to you before he proposed and said congratulations.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_does-e-party-presence-necessitate-wedding-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17c03594-91a0-4f05-8dd9-a096b27a3a6aPost:132c455d-bbb9-49df-a436-326cda8c214d">Re: Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]That party WASN"T an engagement party, it was a Halloween/House warming party, so they don't need an invite. She TOLD them it was an e-party, so they are probably expecting one, but that is her mess to clean up, not yours.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, you're all right! People keep calling it the e-party but it's not like if I got proposed to at Christmas it converts the holiday into something else.

    I'll just keep bean dipping her. She has a copy of the list. If she wants to pursue it, her son can confirm it to her and she can deal with her invites.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_does-e-party-presence-necessitate-wedding-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:17c03594-91a0-4f05-8dd9-a096b27a3a6aPost:132c455d-bbb9-49df-a436-326cda8c214d">Re: Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]That party WASN"T an engagement party, it was a Halloween/House warming party, so they don't need an invite. She TOLD them it was an e-party, so they are probably expecting one, but that is her mess to clean up, not yours.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    ditto this.  Even if it was an actual engagement party she wasn't the host so her add-ons are her faux pax.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_does-e-party-presence-necessitate-wedding-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17c03594-91a0-4f05-8dd9-a096b27a3a6aPost:9e0e2fcf-432b-4eef-a73c-3d137f35a963">Re: Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think you need to invite them. You were unaware it was an engagement party when you invited them, so that's not your fault.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I'm going to agree with this.</div>

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_does-e-party-presence-necessitate-wedding-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17c03594-91a0-4f05-8dd9-a096b27a3a6aPost:6e5ba68b-9588-4157-a26b-f1ed8036afab">Re: Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite? : I'm going to agree with this.
    Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

    Seconded.
  • I think FMIL overstepped by telling people it's an engagement party.  Your FI should be saying, "Dude Mom, you invited these people and told them it was an engagement party when I hadn't popped the question yet.   YOU should have thought of that before you invited these people to the party."

    By her definition, because DD was born in the delivery room, that was a birthday party.


    If there's space, it's nice to allow her to invite the people but if she pays.
  • There's a big difference between an engagement party and a party at which you got engaged. I completely agree with PPs. You don't have to invite them.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_does-e-party-presence-necessitate-wedding-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17c03594-91a0-4f05-8dd9-a096b27a3a6aPost:c602b1d1-9b75-40b4-abbc-8c57114f2c5c">Re: Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good advice here. Just wanted to say I love how "bean-dipping" has become a verb here.
    Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

    I know! People use it so often, it's creeping into my vocabulary. It fits!
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_does-e-party-presence-necessitate-wedding-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:17c03594-91a0-4f05-8dd9-a096b27a3a6aPost:c0312045-db6e-44c7-a65a-97c65675abd8">Re: Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite? : Yeah, you're all right! People keep calling it the e-party but it's not like if I got proposed to at Christmas it converts the holiday into something else. I'll just keep bean dipping her. She has a copy of the list. If she wants to pursue it, her son can confirm it to her and she can deal with her invites.
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]


    I got engaged a couple days before Christmas so I just assumed all the presents under the tree on Christmas morning were for me. Were they not?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_does-e-party-presence-necessitate-wedding-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17c03594-91a0-4f05-8dd9-a096b27a3a6aPost:4ed123b9-0b67-4fe3-a9c7-909fac6bdae3">Re: Does E-Party Presence Necessitate Wedding Invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Those rules only apply to people who accept someone's offer to host a pre-wedding party. In those situations it is understood that only people who are going to be invited to the wedding should be invited to the party.  Frankly I think your FMIL is being manupulative. She invited people to an e-party that you didn't even know was happening and is now using it as an excuse to get her way on the invite list. 
    Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]

    Overstepping (from PP) and manipulative are two excellent words to use to describe her (among many others). She doesn't even know she's doing it. It just comes naturally.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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