Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding

renegade gaucho

I think people worry too much about what other people--well, let's be honest here: women--wear.

Maybe when people start complaining about male wedding guests wearing black suits and trying to upstage the groom I'll get on board with the judgment.

winelover123

I wouldn't do it - black I'm fine with but not white. I'm careful of lighter colors too, but I have a gorgeous brocade cocktail dress that is light blue and has some champagne in it that I've decided I'm wearing for FBIL's wedding. I figure if it's not a long gown, it'll be fine. I have no problem with white at a wedding as long as it doesn't take up 50% or more of the outfit and doesn't have a pattern.

SB1512

I'd say it depends on how much white.  I've worn white or cream cardigans over a bold colored dress, but then again, I was just a guest, not a WP member.  I'd definitely side eye a full white gown, or even a full white cocktail dress, but I think if for example a person wore a dress with a white background and a black or colored pattern it's not a big deal.  Or a white sweater/cardigan over a colored dress is not going to bother me either.

JennaMichelle88

Oh I wouldn't have side-eyed her or been upset if she had chosen a black dress. I just didn't know if the rule was dead, if she was purposefully ignoring the rule, or if she didn't know the rule. It's a moot point anyway since she's chosen a caramel colored dress. Thanks ladies!

arendiva

If someone wears white or ivory to my wedding it will irritate me. I won't say anything or go all bridezilla on them, but I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't piss me off.

Wheels987

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:3485192f-35f8-42ee-8b10-4fa01c4e4682">Re: Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]For me, I'd have to go look through my pics to see if any of my guests wore "too much" white. What bothers me a bit more is when people wear clothes to a church wedding that is inappropriate in a church.  Super low cut dresses (from either end) in a place where people attend Sunday worship is just tacky IMO.
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

My most embarrassing moment by far was when FI (bf at the time) asked me to go to a wedding with him and I didn't know it was in a church. I wore a maroon strapless dress (knee length) and was so mortified once I realized where we were going. Since then I make sure I have all the details about locations.

AdeleDazeem

I think this is something that you think you will care about as a bride... until it happens.  I can't tell you what anyone wore to our wedding.  I seriously didn't care.  But, as a guest at other weddings, I notice and side-eye.

Jen4948

I wouldn't side-eye black, although during the afternoon in the South or anyplace really warm it may be too hot.

As for white, yeah, that's the bride's color.

[Deleted User]

My dress isn't really white, so I don't give a hoot if anyone shows up wearing white. It's not like there will be any misunderstandings as to who the bride is!

AddieCake

I really don't think I would care. My stepmother wore a long, ivory, sparkly gown (that was her wedding dress a few months prior, actually) to our wedding, and it really wasn't that big of a deal. When I first heard she would be wearing it, I was mad, but at the actual wedding, I barely noticed.

libby2483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:80094e50-abfc-415b-9a55-13d5e18185ad">Re: Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't care if anyone shows up in white to my wedding. I won't judge, but others will - not my problem. I think I would be offended if someone showed up in jeans, but again, it doesn't reflect on me. What I don't get about wearing white is that it's not exactly the most flattering color, and the risk of staining is quite high - if you're not the bride, why would you want to subject yourself to that?
Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

<div>I guess we're the opposite.  I didn't care that some people wore jeans to my formal wedding, but I would have side-eyed the hell out of anyone who wore white.  I wouldn't have said anything, but I would have judged.</div>

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:80094e50-abfc-415b-9a55-13d5e18185ad">Re: Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't care if anyone shows up in white to my wedding. I won't judge, but others will - not my problem. I think I would be offended if someone showed up in jeans, but again, it doesn't reflect on me. What I don't get about wearing white is that <strong>it's not exactly the most flattering color</strong>, and the risk of staining is quite high - if you're not the bride, why would you want to subject yourself to that?
Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

I actually love the way I look in white.  I didn't fully realize it until trying on wedding dresses but white looks awesome against my skin, way better than any cream or ivory.  I've bought several white tops since then and actually a white dress that I've never worn b/c I can't figure out where to wear it, haha (it's dressier than I'd normally do for a summer party and I obv am not wearing it to a wedding or shower).

ZiggyZos

A good friend of mine wore a white top with a silver sequined skirt to our wedding, and I thought she looked adorable. Lets be honest - everyone there knew I was the bride regardless of who else may or may not have worn white. It's not something I judge, personally. But then, I didn't care what people wore to the wedding... I'm pretty sure we had some guests in jeans, but I was too busy enjoying myself to notice.

OwningAHome1981

I am a very laid back person, I wouldn't care if someone wore white at my wedding. Clearly, they would not be mistaken for the bride at MY wedding.

BUT b/c most brides do not like this and also are not as laid-back as I am, *I* would not wear white at someone else's wedding.

Me personally though, I don't have a problem with it.

lilphillips14

I think it's impolite, and as a guest I would probably be like 'HAWKWARD!' but on my wedding day, I've been told I'll probably be too busy to notice or care. So there's that.

Belle0720

I think it would annoy me if someone wore an ALL white/ivory dress to my wedding but I wouldn't say anything because I'm just not interested in creating drama at anyone's wedding. 

I will say that a few years back when I was in college I think I was feeling really insecure about my body and couldn't find anything to wear to my cousin's wedding. I ended up wearing a white shirt with khaki capri pants. It was more business casual looking than fancy so no way did I upstage my cousin or have aspirations to. I certainly hope no one side-eyed me.  

MuppetFan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:f940fe4e-835d-4ff0-856e-9b54a9ef28de">Re:Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding: 100 percent agree. Especially since, in Ancient Greek and Roman times, EVERYONE wore white to a wedding. I wouldn't do it myself just BECAUSE it has such a stigma, but I think it's a stupid thing to judge.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I say we bring it back for funsies and change it up. Everyone comes in a white Toga. The bride can wear black and we'll throw a lion and the one guest who also wore black into the gladiator pit. Best.reception.ever.

Daizy106

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:ce950cd7-d9a6-4c68-9512-e34dcf39ef5d">Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]As many awesome friends are getting married, I've seen (either first hand or in pictures) that more & more guests are wearing white to a wedding. Have you seen this? It's so weird to me. I thought it was a "known" type of thing, but maybe it's not? Thoughts? I keep telling myself that I'll hardly notice if someone does it at my wedding, but if I do notice I know I'll just silently judge away. What would/did you do?
Posted by Wheels987[/QUOTE]

i think its weird. My FI's grandmother wore a bright white outfit to his sister's wedding and on top of that she was late to the ceremony and she must have went shopping too because she had a whole bunch of shopping bags with her! So when she walked into the church, everyone turned around to look at her. So yea-if you are not the bride you should not wear white. I don't want to sound like a brat - but i would be annoyed. I wouldn't say anything but i would be annoyed

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:fd8e81b6-5824-4991-916d-030f8f927b55">Re: Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding : My most embarrassing moment by far was when FI (bf at the time) asked me to go to a wedding with him and I didn't know it was in a church. I wore a maroon strapless dress (knee length) and was so mortified once I realized where we were going. Since then I make sure I have all the details about locations.
Posted by Wheels987[/QUOTE]

Huh?  Where was the issue with your clothing, the dress length? 

Nearly all bridal and bridesmaid gowns are strapless and I don't think those are banned from church weddings, well at least not from Catholic weddings.  I recently asked our priest about this, and he said there were no dress restrictions.

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:404c5dd1-0025-491c-9376-0a2a83d3da43">Re:Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding : Count me in!!!
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

Too early for a gif?

<img class="decoded" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9iz7gMkbn1qhp4kzo1_500.gif" alt="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9iz7gMkbn1qhp4kzo1_500.gif" />

SomethingBeautiful08

I would side eye anyone wearing all white to a wedding... it is rude even if the bride in beautiful bridal oblivion doesn't notice it. 

Black that is clearly not mourning (i.e. no veil) is a great option for a lot of weddings... a LBD with sparkly jewlery or a black evening gown at a formal wedding sounds cute.

Wheels987

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:7243fbd4-9721-4025-841a-6fff908e9fb0">Re: Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding : Huh?  Where was the issue with your clothing, the dress length?  Nearly all bridal and bridesmaid gowns are strapless and I don't think those are banned from church weddings, well at least not from Catholic weddings.  I recently asked our priest about this, and he said there were no dress restrictions.
Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

It was the combination of a red dress, strapless, short... I don't know, I just felt awkward.

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:89e7d3f7-c428-41b5-bcc1-b936c3fbdb73">Re: Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding : It was the combination of a red dress, strapless, short... I don't know, I just felt awkward.
Posted by Wheels987[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry, there is nothing worse than feeling uncomfortably dressed.

lilphillips14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:3df24d77-c461-40db-b424-80967b1b6b8e">Re:Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding : Too early for a gif?
Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

<div>Never too early for Bluto!</div>

tonksandlupin

I'm wearing a floor length ivory crochet lace dress for my wedding.
My teenage sisters went shopping for bridesmaids dresses and found beautiful dresses that look great on them. And guess what? They're ivory crochet lace (knee length).
They actually look fantastic beside my dress. My stepmom freaked out about the BMs wearing ivory for about a minute, but I really couldn't care less.
As long as everybody is happy and comfortable, I have no problems with whatever colors they choose to wear

beckygopop

When I was getting married I had a CoWorker friend that I invited to my wedding and we were talking wedding stuff and she said 'I have the cutest white dress I got from Fredericks of Holywood to wear!' I know she does wear outfits from there so I knew she was serious but I wasnt going to tell her what she can and cannot wear but all I could think to say was "OH!" I then told my now ex husband what she said. He was just kind of going 'whaaaa?' If she wanted to get judged by peeps it was all on her. Ultimately she ended up having to work but I do wonder if she would have wore it.

PrettyGirlLost

BTW I just saw two weddings. . . well 1.5. . . on Downton Abbey and it appeared that the Dowager Countess, Lady Grantham, and a few other high class guests appeared to be wearing  ivory or cream.

[Deleted User]

nope wouldnt wear white, and I hope nobody does to mine!

hoffse

I honestly don't get why people care about this.  There isn't one single person present at the wedding whou would mistake somebody else for the bride.  I don't wear white to weddings because white washes me out.  My dress is ivory.  But I've honestly never considered other people side-eyeing me or that it might be rude to the bride.

I do wear black a lot because I have a LBD that's a personal favorite of mine

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_opinions-on-guests-wearing-white-to-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4aa460a7-9b19-4854-abfb-f051d66da6caPost:ea643870-37f5-44ff-ada2-c39ff7282778">Re: Opinions on guests wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]BTW I just saw two weddings. . . well 1.5. . . on Downton Abbey and it appeared that the Dowager Countess, Lady Grantham, and a few other high class guests appeared to be wearing  ivory or cream.
Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

<div>Kate didn't seem to mind that Pippa had a white MOH dress.</div><div>
</div><div>I really think it's just a way for women to complain about other women.  I mean, you never hear about a man's attire trying to upstage the groom.  </div><div>
</div><div>IDK, It's just such a silly thing to care about.</div>