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NER - someone tell me I'm not nuts

So my wedding is a week before my fiance's 30th birthday. We will be on our honeymoon on his birthday. I really want to plan a surprise 30th birthday party for him and I'm thinking about doing it the weekend after we get back. My friends all think I'm nuts and I'm going to drive myself crazy planning a wedding and party.

His mom will help me plan it and I'm sure can wrap up any last minute details while we are on our honeymoon. FWIW - the wedding is pretty large, 220 person guest list, and the birthday party would be between 65-70 people.

I've just been so ahead of the game with wedding planning (all vendors are booked and paid off with the exception of the florist) and the wedding isn't until October. So needless to say I haven't been stressed out at all or busy. My friends keep telling me I don't realize how busy I am going to get over the summer and I can't handle both.

So I guess I'm asking if you guys think this is possible. For those of you who are already married and have been through the planning process - am I setting myself up for something I can't handle?

Re: NER - someone tell me I'm not nuts

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2013
    It would be too much for me, personally, but I have friends who thrive on this kind of thing and would pull it off almost effortlessly. My wedding stress didn't come from the big things. It came from all the little things about a week before the wedding. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-someone-tell-me-im-not-nuts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d4c9cd2-d25c-4803-aa55-092d2eb66806Post:7cacbc62-3177-46be-b5e0-5c0247dfe6b5">NER - someone tell me I'm not nuts</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my wedding is a week before my fiance's 30th birthday. We will be on our honeymoon on his birthday. I really want to plan a surprise 30th birthday party for him and I'm thinking about doing it the weekend after we get back. My friends all think I'm nuts and I'm going to drive myself crazy planning a wedding and party. His mom will help me plan it and I'm sure can wrap up any last minute details while we are on our honeymoon. FWIW - the wedding is pretty large, 220 person guest list, and the birthday party would be between 65-70 people. I've just been so ahead of the game with wedding planning (all vendors are booked and paid off with the exception of the florist) and the wedding isn't until October. So needless to say I haven't been stressed out at all or busy. My friends keep telling me I don't realize how busy I am going to get over the summer and I can't handle both. So I guess I'm asking if you guys think this is possible. For those of you who are already married and have been through the planning process - am I setting myself up for something I can't handle?
    Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]

    A birthday part is not a wedding so it's not as involved.  If his mom is going to help you plan it,  then that's cool. I wouldn't plan to have to do anything while ON your honeymoon though.

    I planned a party for my dad's 50th that was the week I got back from a vacation. I showed up, put food on the table, my uncle took care of the grill....people came, I cleaned up after.  Wasn't a whole lot to it.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-someone-tell-me-im-not-nuts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d4c9cd2-d25c-4803-aa55-092d2eb66806Post:66a718ee-9d31-4a33-a2c1-e63a5450c2a2">Re: NER - someone tell me I'm not nuts</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to NER - someone tell me I'm not nuts : A birthday part is not a wedding so it's not as involved.  If his mom is going to help you plan it,  then that's cool. I wouldn't plan to have to do anything while ON your honeymoon though. I planned a party for my dad's 50th that was the week I got back from a vacation. I showed up, put food on the table, my uncle took care of the grill....people came, I cleaned up after.  Wasn't a whole lot to it.
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    yeah his mom is amazing! She said she would help. She's been a tremendous help with the wedding so far to.

    If it were in the warmer months I would totally just do a BBQ in his mom's backyard and not worry about it. Its the first weekend in November in Massachusetts so I'm going to have to rent a hall or book a room somewhere and then figure out the food situation, so probably having it catered. Thats were the details come into play that every seems to think I can't handle. lol
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    Ok, you're not nuts :) If you can handle planning a b-day party and a wedding, go for it! The only one who can determine what you can handle is you.
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    You're having a pretty big wedding. You'll have TONS of thank you notes to write, gifts to unpack/deposit. Not to mention unpacking from your honeymoon and getting settled back into your house.

    I would suggest something more informal. It's going to be around Halloween, right? Why not take FI out to dinner and ask some friends to meet up at a bar with a Halloween party and/or a band afterwards?

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-someone-tell-me-im-not-nuts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d4c9cd2-d25c-4803-aa55-092d2eb66806Post:7c370dc6-b9a2-460c-9817-f79b6bc3a8c1">Re: NER - someone tell me I'm not nuts</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NER - someone tell me I'm not nuts : yeah his mom is amazing! She said she would help. She's been a tremendous help with the wedding so far to. If it were in the warmer months I would totally just do a BBQ in his mom's backyard and not worry about it. Its the first weekend in November in Massachusetts so I'm going to have to rent a hall or book a room somewhere and then figure out the food situation, so probably having it catered. Thats were the details come into play that every seems to think I can't handle. lol
    Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]

    I should note that I plan stuff like this all the time and it's no sweat to me. I have regular parties and I used to handle all event coordination for my company in addition to my job. 

    If you're doing it at a facility, then all you really need to do is to book the hall, select food, pay and show up.  Maybe FMIL can bring the cake. That's easier than what I was thinking.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    Thats going to be alot of work and stress... plus after you come home from your honeymoon, do you really want to be entertaining? won't you want to settle in and enjoy being newlyweds? just a thought... plus after the wedding, there's things to do as well: write the thank you notes, get your wedding dress cleaned/preserved, tie off loose ends with vendor payments, organize etc. Just a thought...
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Even if you can handle the planning some of the guests might not be thrilled with giving up part of 2 weekends in a row for you.
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    If you were anything like me, I'd say your nuts. Planning a wedding for 100 guests is almost too much for me. I couldn't imagine planning a surprise birthday on top of it.

    However, if this is your forte then go for it.
    Anniversary
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    I would say you're not nuts.  We're getting married in November and I'm co-chair for a huge charity event taking place on 12/6 so I'm right there with you.
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