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My H and I are invited to a wedding on May 25th; the bride is a girl that I used to coach with a few years ago. My H cannot go because of work and the only other person I would know at the wedding cannot go because she has another wedding to attend.

I know that people get upset when a guest wants to bring someone other than listed on the invitation, but would it be horribly rude of me to ask if I could bring my sister instead of my H? The wedding is about 45 minutes away in an area that I am not too familiar with, and it would be nice to have someone to go with. I will suck it up and go alone if the bride says no, but is it okay to at least ask? Thanks!
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Re: Question

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    mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I think it's fine to ask and just explain your husband can't attend.  If she says no...well, that's rude given that you don't know anyone else.
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    If it were my wedding and a guest called with that request, I would absolutely say "Yes!  Bring your sister!"
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    I think asking in this situation is rude. It's not like you're flying across the country. We always say invitations aren't transferable for all you know she's invited many single people without plus ones who would have liked to bring a friend, but aren't because one wasn't invited. I think you should go alone or decline.
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    mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67e6562d-3eb7-477c-b045-254313b3aaddPost:0cd639d5-13b2-41e1-8da0-169a168b9607">Re:Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think asking in this situation is rude. It's not like you're flying across the country. We always say invitations aren't transferable for all you know she's invited many single people without plus ones who would have liked to bring a friend, but aren't because one wasn't invited. I think you should go alone or decline.
    Posted by STARMOON44[/QUOTE]

    I think when people assume, it's rude...  There's no harm in asking.  If she were single, this is a situation where she should be allowed a +1 because she doesn't know anyone.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2013
    I don't find it rude at all. To me, it made no difference who my guests brought as their "other." I had budgeted for the other, and it wasn't hurting anyone to substitute. It's not like you're asking to bring ADDITIONAL people or to bring someone who wants to steal the groom or something. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Some brides get really uptight about this kind-of stuff.  I was not one of them.  Like Addie I'm still spending the same amount of money regardless.   I also gave everyone a plus one as my guests comfort was important to me.

    Besides she said she will not know anyone else at the wedding.  That alone is a reason for me to let her bring someone other than her husband.   I could see an issue if within the same set of friends someone brings someone when others were not allowed.  That doesn't appear to be the case here.

    And what guest goes around polling other guests to see what the relationship situatution is with the person the came in with?    








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    I agree that asking and assuming are totally different.  I think it's fine to call and ask.

    I was one of those brides who was irritated with a substitute; but it was mostly because I just thought it was super awkward of my friend who knew literally 30 other people to bring a random friend no one else knew. 
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    It is never rude to ask.  Call the bride and explain the situation.  But remember that she has every right to say no and you cannot hold that against her.

    What is rude is for a guest to assume that they can transfer the invite without asking or adding people to their invite because they feel like it.  But it is never rude to ask a question.

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    Thank you for your responses! I feel bad for wanting to ask, and I wouldn't be upset at all if she says no. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't being rude beforehand. Thanks!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67e6562d-3eb7-477c-b045-254313b3aaddPost:9c8caf8a-3075-41d4-953c-2ac2ffa08a32">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]The problem is that asking the Bride to switch an invite does not really give her any easy way to say no.  Its not like there could be a capacity problem. <strong> I really dont see a 45 minute drive as a hardship.  If you do not have a GPS, print out the mapquest directions before you go.</strong> I do not know if people here would consider it rude for the bride to say, we are not giving general +1s, so I really can not do this.
    Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

    I really don't think it is the 45 minute drive that is making OP want to ask if her sister can join her.  It is the fact that she will not know a single person there except the bride.  If my H and I were invited to a wedding and he couldn't go and I wouldn't know another soul there I would want to bring someone in his place as well so I wouldn't feel weird or out of place.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67e6562d-3eb7-477c-b045-254313b3aaddPost:79f55b45-d31e-4ccd-89de-c0553cd46384">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question : I really don't think it is the 45 minute drive that is making OP want to ask if her sister can join her.  <strong>It is the fact that she will not know a single person there except the bride.</strong>  If my H and I were invited to a wedding and he couldn't go and I wouldn't know another soul there I would want to bring someone in his place as well so I wouldn't feel weird or out of place.
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly why I would like to have my sister with me. I mentioned the drive because there is an hour or so gap between the ceremony and reception and I am obviously not going to drive home. I would never tell her I am bringing someone else, I will explain my situation and ask her and her FI about bringing my sister, and if they say no, no big deal.
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    It's okay to ask. I would say "yes" if I were asked.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    I spoke to her yesterday and she said "Of course!!!" She has met my sister a few times, and they had fun together at my wedding a few weeks ago so we are all good! I feel relieved, thanks ladies!
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