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Something about this rubs me the wrong way

Bride of wedding I was in, in March, just texted me to say she took all the lingerie from her Bachelorette Party Gifts from Victoria's Secret and returned it the store, then rebought it back, and got $150 in cash back.

Besides the fact that I really didn't need to know that, I feel just ekk about it. I mean I bought her stuff from Kohls but that's so not the point.

Should I Respond? It's not like she got two of the same thing, and returned one, and got something else.

What are the rules with gifts from showers etc? Unless there are duplicates you should keep them?

Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_something-about-this-rubs-me-the-wrong-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7072e6f4-e58d-46a4-84c5-9cc82369113dPost:ea1e35f4-a5ca-41d4-8339-243c777aac1a">Something about this rubs me the wrong way</a>:
    [QUOTE]Bride of wedding I was in, in March, just texted me to say she took all the lingerie from her Bachelorette Party Gifts from Victoria's Secret and<strong> returned it the store, then rebought it back, and got $150 in cash back</strong>. Besides the fact that I really didn't need to know that, I feel just ekk about it. I mean I bought her stuff from Kohls but that's so not the point. Should I Respond? It's not like she got two of the same thing, and returned one, and got something else. What are the rules with gifts from showers etc? Unless there are duplicates you should keep them?
    Posted by huynhette[/QUOTE]

    This may be a silly question, but can you clarify the bold part? If she rebought it, where did the cash come from? Was it just better prices or something?
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    I get wanting to brag about getting a deal, but I think she should have kept it to herself in this case.  
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_something-about-this-rubs-me-the-wrong-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7072e6f4-e58d-46a4-84c5-9cc82369113dPost:73072016-83dd-4da7-8e2f-21644ca57c9c">Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Something about this rubs me the wrong way : This may be a silly question, but can you clarify the bold part? If she rebought it, where did the cash come from? Was it just better prices or something?
    Posted by lisabeats[/QUOTE]

    I'm not 100% sure either. I guess like prices went down, or she used coupons. I didn't know how to follow up.
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    It sounds like she probably had gift receipts and was able to make the returns for the cash, and then buy them back at a discount (probably a coupon or sale), and profit.
    I think the main issue with this is that she told you.  That's really tacky.  I don't think I'd care too much if someone did that, but I wouldn't want them bragging to me about it when I spent my hard earned money on a gift for her from which she's profiting.  It goes against the spirit of the gift and she had no business broadcasting it.
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    Hmm.. I get that it's all "hers" then and she's free to do what she wants with it, but as someone who gave her gifts, I'd be a little annoyed too. I wouldn't know how to respond, and maybe it's best if you don't. I agree that "at least" she did buy it back (and don't I ever LOVE a steal of a deal!!) but that just somehow seems wrong to me.
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    auriannaaurianna member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2013
    I say huge power to her for getting to keep the gifts generously given to her AND also getting free money to boot. Always props for savvy shoppers. Maybe tacky... but money is money and if you can get the same thing for less money, yay.

    ...But major fail for telling people about it. "Guess what everyone! I returned all your gifts and made a profit!"
    You just don't let people know that....

    ETA:
    Though one thing that does bother me is that if she's taking it back, then I assume she never wore it (or I sure hope not!!). You'd think that some of the wedding lingerie would have been worn... you know... around the wedding.

    I'd pretty much respond with something like, "Cool. Though I might not tell person XYZ; they might take it the wrong way. Oh! and btw, I have this great new bean dip recipe you should try so we can talk about it."
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_something-about-this-rubs-me-the-wrong-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7072e6f4-e58d-46a4-84c5-9cc82369113dPost:f67bcaf1-ba3f-46c6-9882-b0b5d793056f">Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way : I'm not 100% sure either. I guess like prices went down, or she used coupons. <strong>I didn't know how to follow up.
    </strong>Posted by huynhette[/QUOTE]

    I would text her back with a...
    "Ok." and then leave it alone.

    Also, I didn't even know stores still gave back actual cash unless a receipt (not a gift receipt but an actual receipt from purchase) was provided.

    Once a gift is given it is the recipients choice to do with it what they would like.  But saying that she shouldn't go off bragging about returning all of her gifts, then re-buying them only to get money back as well.  Just seems weird.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_something-about-this-rubs-me-the-wrong-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7072e6f4-e58d-46a4-84c5-9cc82369113dPost:065784ea-24b6-4a44-98fd-458212cfaa61">Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way : The only "lingerie" I wore during my entire honeymoon was not anything bought for me (or from somewhere like VS) and it was one night out of 6.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    For that exact reason I don't even understand the purpose of lingerie showers / bacherlorettes.

    "Yay! You're getting married! Here's an incredibly personal item that might not even be to your tastes that you won't even wear on your honeymoon.. And me and a whole bunch of people are giving it to you!"

    But that's going OT...
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_something-about-this-rubs-me-the-wrong-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7072e6f4-e58d-46a4-84c5-9cc82369113dPost:f2f7fe4b-3554-474b-85d7-3c823e6d8efd">Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way</a>:
    [QUOTE]The rule about gifts is that once you give it to the recipient, they can light it on fire just to watch it burn if they want to.  
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    This made me laugh and choke on my water.
    Soon-to-be Mrs. Kent
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    lyndsay782lyndsay782 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_something-about-this-rubs-me-the-wrong-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7072e6f4-e58d-46a4-84c5-9cc82369113dPost:57429f80-5319-49bb-b170-30dd4cda9b0b">Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way : For that exact reason I don't even understand the purpose of lingerie showers / bacherlorettes. "Yay! You're getting married! Here's an incredibly personal item that might not even be to your tastes that you won't even wear on your honeymoon.. And me and a whole bunch of people are giving it to you!" But that's going OT...
    Posted by aurianna[/QUOTE]

    <div>I completely agree.  I've told all my FMIL that if someone asks her about the shower to specify that I DO NOT want any lingerie. At all.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I have a thing about people buying me underwear.  It's wierd to me, much like having someone touch my feet.  (Which I still have issues with even though pedicures feel so dang good).  Everyone thinks I'm two sizes smaller than I am or a size bigger than I am, and as a plus size bride, I don't want to share my actual size.  Especially not for an underwear purchase.  And I've seen what sort of lingerie people purchase at the bridal shower I was just at.  Old ladies buy some of the trashiest looking lingerie I've ever seen!!!  It could make 1990's Madonna blush!</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_something-about-this-rubs-me-the-wrong-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7072e6f4-e58d-46a4-84c5-9cc82369113dPost:9de1bf0d-714c-4717-a7c4-0c2033127c42">Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Something about this rubs me the wrong way : I completely agree.  I've told all my FMIL that if someone asks her about the shower to specify that I DO NOT want any lingerie. At all.   I have a thing about people buying me underwear. <strong> It's wierd to me, much like having someone touch my feet.  (Which I still have issues with even though pedicures feel so dang good)</strong>.  Everyone thinks I'm two sizes smaller than I am or a size bigger than I am, and as a plus size bride, I don't want to share my actual size.  Especially not for an underwear purchase.  And I've seen what sort of lingerie people purchase at the bridal shower I was just at.  Old ladies buy some of the trashiest looking lingerie I've ever seen!!!  It could make 1990's Madonna blush!
    Posted by lyndsay782[/QUOTE]

    Concur. I hate strangers touching my hands... feet... face. I didn't like people touching my hair either, but my latest hairdresser gives such nice scalp massages and my hair just doesn't bounce the same with three inches of split ends, so I've gotten over that one a little.

    And summer shoes are just too cute to have scary feet, so I've had to live with that one. But man... "Here's $30 strange person I don't know. Please touch my legs and feet non-stop for half an hour." The fact that in all three nail salons I frequent, almost all the employees are speaking to each other in a language I don't know doesn't help my comfort level either.

    Digressing is fun...
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    She was probably just proud of her frugality. Also, like a pp said, she may have had to exchange for size anyway
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    I return and rebuy all the time. I work at a mall. Victoria's Secret has sales and Secret Cards all the time. Say someone buys you under wear 7 for $25 on sale. Return it without the receipt for store credit and they give you the maximum amount. Then return a teddy with the receipt for cash. Rebuy both with the store credit you relieved from the other return. If you have a secret rewards card you can pair it with the rebuy as well and get another $10 (lilkely) off the purchase.
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    I don't like that she told you about it. She could've kept that to herself.

    I would've loved to have returned the lingerie people got at my shower for my first wedding. One person thought I was an Orca, another thought I was a model. 
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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