Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

Whats the deal with the "plus guest"??

So do I have to allow every single person to bring a guest?  I don't understand where I draw the line...????

Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"??

  • Options
    kmbryant2413kmbryant2413 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2013
    You really should not have your email address as your username. I would changing that. Liek yesterday.

    You allow everyone to bring their significant others, and it is up to you whether or not you wan to give your truly single guests a +1. But drawing a line of what kind of relationship to allow (only allowing married/engagement/long term) is not acceptable.


    ETA: Soup and I are on the same brainwave today. Ditto on the caregiver +1.
    my blog - for the love of ein
    'Next time, just fart.' - BriSox81
    image
  • Options
    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    The line is drawn at are they dating someone or not. A truly single guest who is not dating anyone at all even a little bit can be invited solo.

    Personally, I budgeted to give all single guests a plus one. Not everyone brought a date, but I liked giving the option.
  • Options
    We gave everyone a +1 b/c we could afford to do that. It's nice if you can, but not necessary. You do need to always allow a guest to bring his or her SO. SOs are not "+1s."
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Options
    Ask TK to change your name. It has been done in some circumstances.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • Options
    If they are single, or not married, its good to put the option of a guest. If they are married, then its assumed that you're inviting them, their spouse and their kids (Specifically, you can put: mr & mrs jones, and names of kids). Put a blank line for guest, so they can fill in the guest' name, which you can use for the seating chart later on.
    You dont have to have the option of a +1 for each single guest, if you are on a budget. But if you know that the single person attending the wedding won't know anyone else at the table, its a nice gesture to allow them to bring a guest.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-the-deal-with-the-plus-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:713265f1-c650-487d-b08f-782bc97b466ePost:39ae7d54-1569-4c46-af1e-d8e2b28ada26">Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"??</a>:
    [QUOTE]If they are single, or not married, its good to put the option of a guest. If they are married, then its assumed that you're inviting them, their spouse <strong>and their kids</strong> (Specifically, you can put: mr & mrs jones, and names of kids). Put a blank line for guest, so they can fill in the guest' name, which you can use for the seating chart later on. You dont have to have the option of a +1 for each single guest, if you are on a budget. But if you know that the single person attending the wedding won't know anyone else at the table, its a nice gesture to allow them to bring a guest.
    Posted by Butterfly898[/QUOTE]

    <div>If they choose to invite children. It is not a given that if someone has children, they will be wanted everywhere.</div>
    my blog - for the love of ein
    'Next time, just fart.' - BriSox81
    image
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-the-deal-with-the-plus-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:713265f1-c650-487d-b08f-782bc97b466ePost:7fd1b9e6-ae62-4368-a16f-5e4e691d7659">Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"?? : This is bad advice. People in a relationship should always have their guest listed by name on the invitation. It's considered rude to write "and guest" or leave a blank line for half of a couple. Also it is not assumed that just because a person is invited, their children are invited as well. Some weddings are adult only. Some couples choose to only invite children who are family.  ETA: If  a child is invited, they should be listed by name on the inside of the invitation with the rest of the family. 
    Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>So, if you're extending a +1 to a single guest, would that be acceptable to leave a blank line for them to add their +1's name? I will have a few cousins and family friends who will have just turned 18 not long before we send out invites, and I want them to have the option of bringing a guest, but I doubt any of them will have SO's by that time, so I won't know names, etc.</div><div>
    </div><div>To OP: I agree with the rest of these ladies. Married couples, or even non-married couples need to have both of their names on the invite.</div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-the-deal-with-the-plus-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:713265f1-c650-487d-b08f-782bc97b466ePost:9908831a-ca02-4151-aaad-7abe8a04353c">Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"?? : I'm sorry I should have clarified.  If the person is truly single and you want to give them the option of bringing someone writing "and guest" on the invitation is fine. If they have a SO the invite should be addressed to both of them by name. 
    Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Thank you! Appreciate the help. <img style="font-size:11px;line-height:14px;" src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /></div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options

    Remember that when you give someone a "and guest" invite... you give them free reign to invite anyone that they want to be their guest.  Most of the time this is a very nice thing to do and works out fine, but look back through the posts and you will find LOTS of horror stories of "and guest" invites being people that the Bride and/or Groom would prefer not to be at their wedding... i.e. ex-SOs, estraged family members etc.  If there is someone like that in your single persons life you might think about other options.

  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-the-deal-with-the-plus-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:713265f1-c650-487d-b08f-782bc97b466ePost:bb97d22a-d966-481c-a61d-a94eb68f40f5">Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ask TK to change your name. It has been done in some circumstances.
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    I asked The Knot to change my name a year ago.  The "Pedro" in reference is a man I was engaged to in 2010, who was murdered during a mugging in 2011 shortly before we were to be married.  I am blessed to have found love again, but when I wrote to ask them to fix my name so it would be this man's name or whatever - but not the name "Pedro," they were like....swoory.

    It really pissed me off, to be honest.  So, if you know someone, I'd be in favor of a change, even now.  For the record, my fiance knows this is my 'The Knot' name, and is only disappointed and sad for me, but not at all jealous or upset at me.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-the-deal-with-the-plus-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:713265f1-c650-487d-b08f-782bc97b466ePost:5e758b45-fb89-4ee2-8ca6-6893c6157b1e">Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"?? : I asked The Knot to change my name a year ago.  The "Pedro" in reference is a man I was engaged to in 2010, who was murdered during a mugging in 2011 shortly before we were to be married.  I am blessed to have found love again, but when I wrote to ask them to fix my name so it would be this man's name or whatever - but not the name "Pedro," they were like....swoory. It really pissed me off, to be honest.  So, if you know someone, I'd be in favor of a change, even now.  For the record, my fiance knows this is my 'The Knot' name, and is only disappointed and sad for me, but not at all jealous or upset at me.
    Posted by Ella and Pedro[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Wow, I'm sorry I can't help, I just want to say that was REALLY crappy of them and I'm sorry for your loss.</div>
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-the-deal-with-the-plus-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:713265f1-c650-487d-b08f-782bc97b466ePost:3e7d5508-b4a7-4cd3-bb86-0c86de2d1521">Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Whats the deal with the "plus guest"?? : Wow, I'm sorry I can't help, I just want to say that was REALLY crappy of them and I'm sorry for your loss.
    Posted by cmacch[/QUOTE]

    Thanks.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards