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Gift for local reception?

One of my dearest friend's sibling lives out of the country and got married at their new hometown almost 3 years ago. Both bride and groom are from different countries originally and of different ethnicities. Since their civil ceremony they've had a reception in each of their "motherlands" and will soon (next month) have a reception here in the US.

I (along with some other mutual friends) have been invited to the sibling's local reception and am honored to attend this party. My question however is what to give to this couple? Is a gift "expected" in terms of ettiquette? If so, what should this gift be? I would presume a monetary gift as a physical gift (frame,vase, etc) seems impractical. Do I get a "wedding" card?

I've been looking into this online, in search of advice but seem to find conflicting views. I've also considered just asking my friend but don't want to come accross the wrong way (cheap or insensitive).

Thank you in advance for your advice… :-)

Re: Gift for local reception?

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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    They've been married for THREE YEARS?!?!

    I would attend the party, wish them well, but I don't see this as a gift giving occasion.

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    I wouldn't give a gift....infact, if it's an actual reception (with spotlight dances, a registry, etc) I probably would not go.  I'm going to assume, for the sake of humanity, that this is just a nice barbeque in a backyard and that no one is doing any of the things previously mentioned and certainly not wearing a wedding dress.  Married for 3 years with 3 different receptions...c'mon now!!!

    image

    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

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    While its not a backyard BBQ, it's also not a full-scale reception. None of the "frills" of a wedding. Just a semi-casual party the family here is throwing for the couple to celebrate their union. They would have done it sooner but the timing didn't work out.

    So I'm not put off by the timing in regards to going vs not going. Just wondering if a gift is expected and if so how to guage what/how much that gift should be. My mutal friends and I were debating this the other day because we are all confused as to etiquette/protocal…
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited April 2013
    Their timing issues are not your problem.  I was married 8 months ago, and can't fathom throwing another reception type thing now or ever. 3 years is just insane. I don't care what countries they live in or have traveled to.

    I would absolutely not give a gift to a couple under any circumstance who was married three years ago and is now hosting their third reception.

    It sounds like you want to give a gift, so go for it. Gift what you would for any other wedding.

    My question is...if you and your friends are that close to the couple to be invited to this reception, why didn't you send a card and/or gift when they actually got married 3 years ago?
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    In terms of etiquette, I believe, no gift is necessary.

    Personally, I bring a gift (whether it just be a bottle of wine or a check) to almost all parties I attend.  I just feel uncomfortable attending parties empty handed but that is personal preference not etiquette related.  I would just buy a congratulations card not necessarily a wedding card.  I would probably also bring a bottle of some kind of liquor or wine, but I am assuming they do not live in the US so your best bet may just be to give a gift card or check in the amount you are most comfortable with.
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    I feel conflicted about giving a gift, on one hand feel somehow obligated to give a gift, but at the same time, feel it unecessary. 

    As for your question itzMS…
    "My question is...if you and your friends are that close to the couple to be invited to this reception, why didn't you send a card and/or gift when they actually got married 3 years ago?"

    We are friends with the sister of the groom, not the couple themselves. And 3 years ago, we were ourselves out of the country at a wedding. So we're not THAT close to the couple, just the sister/sister-in-law who is our friend.
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    yeah....I wouldn't get them anything

    image

    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-for-local-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bf39da2-4e33-4ff2-a6a2-b4788e4ee7daPost:bca02c26-03fc-483d-8831-fbdb4a7b103b">Re: Gift for local reception?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In terms of etiquette, I believe, no gift is necessary. Personally, I bring a gift (whether it just be a bottle of wine or a check) to almost all parties I attend.  I just feel uncomfortable attending parties empty handed but that is personal preference not etiquette related.  I would just buy a congratulations card not necessarily a wedding card.  I would probably also bring a bottle of some kind of liquor or wine, but I am assuming they do not live in the US so your best bet may just be to give a gift card or check in the amount you are most comfortable with.
    Posted by NYCBride2013[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Thanks NYCBride2013… I think you most understood where I'm coming from. Feels strange to show up empty handed. I too thought of bringing a bottle of wine to the party. Thanks for the advice.</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-for-local-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bf39da2-4e33-4ff2-a6a2-b4788e4ee7daPost:aaf4baa3-3578-4f2c-b004-85249cd0930d">Re: Gift for local reception?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift for local reception? : Thanks NYCBride2013… I think you most understood where I'm coming from. Feels strange to show up empty handed. I too thought of bringing a bottle of wine to the party. Thanks for the advice.
    Posted by teri75[/QUOTE]

    No problem!  Happy to help :)
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    I normally bring a gift to an function I go to but this is just odd to have a reception 3 years later. I'm not sure I'd bring anything to this one myself, not even a bottle of wine.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-for-local-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bf39da2-4e33-4ff2-a6a2-b4788e4ee7daPost:1ef1f2ff-1d27-4740-bed3-0e880cedf7f9">Re: Gift for local reception?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I normally bring a gift to an function I go to but this is just odd to have a reception 3 years later. I'm not sure I'd bring anything to this one myself, not even a bottle of wine.
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree. I'm surprised more people didn't chime in on this one.

    The OP doesn't even know the couple personally.

    It makes me wonder if I go to visit some friends of mine in Germany if they'll throw DH & I a "reception" for our wedding 8 months ago. More prezzies!! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />
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    I'm surprised too!

    i don't understand why this is being called a wedding reception and not just a party to welcome people who haven't been in the country for a long time and won't be staying long. The last time my cousin came home from Germany we had a shindig. It's been 5 years, if they come home again, we'd probably do another. They got married in Poland....we won't call it their American Wedding.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    I didn't say its a wedding. Just a local reception. It's to celebrate their union, yes, but also because its been years since this guy has been back to the States and the FIRST time his wife has ever been here… so his parents are throwing them a party.

    The way I grew up we'd automatically bring a gift to a big party like this (this is a casual party – not a frilly wedding-type party). I just have no clue what that "gift" should be. A physical something? Then they have to pack it in their luggage and take it home and I don't want to weigh them down with stuff, esp since I don't know them well enough to know their taste. Monetary gift? I'm not sure about that. A bottle of wine or gift card to a local restaurant that they can enjoy while they're visiting? That's what I was leaning towards. Or just nothing? Just show up and have a good time. Feels odd to show up to a party empty-handed.
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