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You have to laugh...

So, FI's grandmother very graciously offered to throw me a bridal shower. (She's like his mom; his mom is alive but not in the picture). I gratefully accepted.

She wanted to throw it near my birthday (late August). Fine. She wants my mother to come down. Also fine.

Then late August didn't work, so she wanted to have it in July (for a mid-October wedding). Also fine. I'm being grateful and appreciative, smiling, etc.

The other weekend, she and FI's aunt bought the invitations. They have crosses and baby lambs on them. On account of they are invitations to a First Holy Communion party. (She also bought me matching thank-you notes, but that's a separate issue and I can just throw those away and use my from-Target-on-clearance note cards with my initials on them).

This past weekend, while FI and I were out of town, she and Auntie addressed the invitations. The shower is July 20, so it's a little early, but whatevs.

OH, except for the fact that: I HAVE NOT YET GIVEN HER THE LIST OF PEOPLE.

FI and I only recently finalized the shower lists (his gma is elderly, so I wanted to keep the shower she was hosting small; I am not inviting to the shower anyone who ISN'T invited to the wedding, but some of the people are being invited to the shower my BMs are hosting, to make it easier on gma.)

FI -- gently -- pointed out to her that, without a guest list, how could she have addressed invitations? She said, "Well, I just addressed them to the people I knew you were inviting to the wedding."

So today FI gave her the list. In looking it over, she said, "Oh, I didn't know you had invited so-and-so to the wedding!"

Well, no, no you didn't. 

I'm not at all mad, or hurt, or upset. His grandmother is a dear, sweet little old lady who is struggling with early dementia. She means well, she really does, and this is clearly a no harm/no foul situation (she didn't address invites to anyone we WEREN'T planning to invite), but it just cracks me up. 

She also, for the record, checked the availability of the date for my shower with her church  (we're using the basement of the church); Auntie (who's helping to host), my mom; my MOH, and my SIL -- all BEFORE she asked me if I would be available. Obvs I am, and I would have made it work if I weren't, but it just cracks me up.
Anniversary

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I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

Re: You have to laugh...

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    AwIn Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_you-have-to-laugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95244b44-3ef0-4184-8f47-9edde72a6756Post:280fc1c7-01dc-4ac5-838d-6c09c6b7c15e">You have to laugh...</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, FI's grandmother very graciously offered to throw me a bridal shower. (She's like his mom; his mom is alive but not in the picture). I gratefully accepted. She wanted to throw it near my birthday (late August). Fine. She wants my mother to come down. Also fine. Then late August didn't work, so she wanted to have it in July (for a mid-October wedding). Also fine. I'm being grateful and appreciative, smiling, etc. The other weekend, she and FI's aunt bought the invitations. They have crosses and baby lambs on them. On account of they are invitations to a First Holy Communion party. (She also bought me matching thank-you notes, but that's a separate issue and I can just throw those away and use my from-Target-on-clearance note cards with my initials on them). This past weekend, while FI and I were out of town, she and Auntie addressed the invitations. The shower is July 20, so it's a little early, but whatevs. OH, except for the fact that: I HAVE NOT YET GIVEN HER THE LIST OF PEOPLE. FI and I only recently finalized the shower lists (his gma is elderly, so I wanted to keep the shower she was hosting small; I am not inviting to the shower anyone who ISN'T invited to the wedding, but some of the people are being invited to the shower my BMs are hosting, to make it easier on gma.) FI -- gently -- pointed out to her that, without a guest list, how could she have addressed invitations? She said, "Well, I just addressed them to the people I knew you were inviting to the wedding." So today FI gave her the list. In looking it over, she said, "Oh, I didn't know you had invited so-and-so to the wedding!" Well, no, no you didn't.  I'm not at all mad, or hurt, or upset. His grandmother is a dear, sweet little old lady who is struggling with early dementia. She means well, she really does, and this is clearly a no harm/no foul situation (she didn't address invites to anyone we WEREN'T planning to invite), but it just cracks me up.  She also, for the record, checked the availability of the date for my shower with her church  (we're using the basement of the church); Auntie (who's helping to host), my mom; my MOH, and my SIL -- all BEFORE she asked me if I would be available. Obvs I am, and I would have made it work if I weren't, but it just cracks me up.
    Posted by lemclane[/QUOTE]

    Aw she's so sweet! I totally laughed at the first communion/lamb invite part. At least the people she invited were on the wedding list. At first, I was thinking of an episode of Growing Pains where they threw the parents some kind of party using someone's random Christmas card list.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I'm experiencing something similar...but I didn't handle it with nearly as much grace!  My mom is throwing me my shower and she already addressed the shower invites despite it being in 4 months.  I was flipping through the envelopes and I quickly realized that a number of them aren't invited to the wedding...I pointed this out and she didn't seem to grasp how big of an etiquette no-no this was.  Ugh!
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    This made me giggle. My grandma would have been the same way. So full of well meaning and love, but her poor mind won't let her do what she wants.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_you-have-to-laugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95244b44-3ef0-4184-8f47-9edde72a6756Post:e7fe9cfd-de97-49bf-b677-aba0f789a689">Re: You have to laugh...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Seriously you guys all sound kind of distainful.  Empathy is your friend. Your FI's GM is a sweetheart, and to her credit she hasn't gotten anything wrong, other than invite decor.  Love her while you have her. I'm not trying to be critical, but if she's truly getting dementia, she's not going to be this good for long.  Give her an extra hug for me. ETA:  Not all pp's sound distainful, but please don't laugh at GM.
    Posted by 1covejack[/QUOTE]

    I don't see where anyone sounds disdainful. OP clearly shared this, expressing love and appreciation of her FI's grandmother's kindness and says so.

    I'm not seeing it with those who've responded either.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    My own grandmother had Alzheimer's. Believe me that I understand, probably better than you know, what precious little time we have left with her. The story was meant to be amusing, a funny anecdote. It wasn't IN ANY WAY rude or mean. Chill out.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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