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Bridal Shower Gifts

I just had my shower yesterday. My mom's friend who attended gave me a card and wrote a little note in it saying all of this wonderful stuff about knowing me since I was a little girl and then had said; "Here is the money for you and FI to buy your wine cabinet that you had registered for." SWEET! I was very excited to be able to buy it.  Well, today my dad had given me a belated shower gift which was a wine rack. It holds 8 bottles of wine; the cabinet held 9, plus had a space to hang 6-9 wine glasses, I forget how many exactly. Anyway, my question is; now that I have this wine rack, I'm starting to not really see the point in buying the cabinet. I don't know what to do about the money now, because she wrote in the card the intent of what it was for.  Am I breaking etiquette by not using the cash for the gift that the giver intended it to be for?  Or is it not really up to the person who gives you the cash to dictate how it should be spent. I don't want to hurt her feelings and I certainly do not want to lie about it in a Thank You note or something.

 
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Re: Bridal Shower Gifts

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    emeejeeayenemeejeeayen member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited April 2013
    If she cared that much about you having the wine cabinet I don't really get why she didn't just directly buy you the wine cabinet?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gifts-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c523183-49cb-4fdb-a887-6cf19182b3adPost:c41d140f-77b4-4422-8d8f-7afcc23b3e51">Re: Bridal Shower Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]If she cared that much about you having the wine cabinet I don't really get why she didn't just directly buy you the wine cabinet?
    Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

    Well, that's what I thought too.  It was an online only item, and I know that some people are iffy' about online purchases. I know a few people who do not like to buy over the internet at all.  Plus, I'm not sure when she looked to buy my gift.  She may have ran out of time to buy it with shipping and delivery.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2013
    It's not like she will know you didn't buy the wine cabinet. Well, I guess if she comes over, she would, but still. Don't buy something you no longer need.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    I would not buy the wine rack. That seems silly since you don't need it anymore.

    I would write a TY note for the money and would probably tell a little white lie about "We're so excited to purchase our wine rack," etc. I don't see how she would find out you didn't spend it that way.


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    edited April 2013
    You definitely do not need to buy the wine cabinet.  I wouldn't lie in the TY note and say you're going to get the wine rack, but I think you can say something like, "You know how much FI and I love wine, so we will definitely be putting your gift to good use," and you can use some of the money to fill the wine rack you already have (wine glasses, different wines, fancy opener, etc.).  

    You might consider getting the cabinet, though.  I think a cabinet that will hold glasses and accessories would be really useful, if you have the space for it, and DH and I definitely could fill up the rack plus the cabinet with wines we have around.  
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    edited April 2013
    Eh I tell white lies in TY notes all the time. If we really could use a monetary gift to pay our bills, I'm not going to say that in the TY note. I might say, "We can't wait to use it to buy something for the house."

    One time we got a check in the mail on the same day that I had to pick up a refill for my BC pills (when I still had to pay for pills), so guess what it got used for.  I was not going to be completely forthcoming in the TY note on that one, yet I still like to give the giver an idea of what we will use the money on, not just say, 'Thanks for the money." In all actuality, if you just deposit all your checks into your checking account, who is really to say exactly whose money gets allocated for different purchases, KWIM? I guess I don't see a white lie in a TY note as that big of a deal.


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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gifts-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c523183-49cb-4fdb-a887-6cf19182b3adPost:25b82fd4-8ee4-4e8f-9b96-04e050632c92">Re: Bridal Shower Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Eh I tell white lies in TY notes all the time. If we really could use a monetary gift to pay our bills, I'm not going to say that in the TY note. I might say, "We can't wait to use it to buy something for the house." One time we got a check in the mail on the same day that I had to pick up a refill for my BC pills (when I still had to pay for pills), so guess what it got used for.  I was not going to be completely forthcoming in the TY note on that one, yet I still like to give the giver an idea of what we will use the money on, not just say, 'Thanks for the money." In all actuality, if you just deposit all your checks into your checking account, who is really to say exactly whose money gets allocated for different purchases, KWIM? I guess I don't see a white lie in a TY note as that big of a deal.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

    <div>I understand that cash is fungible.  However, I think it's different to say "I am going to buy x" when you have no intention of buying x versus a vague, "here's what I'm going to spend money on in the future."</div>
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    Thank you cards are soooooo old school.  I just plan on posting on my Facebook a picture of all my gifts and saying thank you!!
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    OMG TexasPrincess, that's a GREAT Idea.  I hate riting.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gifts-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c523183-49cb-4fdb-a887-6cf19182b3adPost:54cd69be-f4ff-485c-8f1e-dc4f1434de52">Re: Bridal Shower Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you cards are soooooo old school.  I just plan on posting on my Facebook a picture of all my gifts and saying thank you!!
    Posted by TexAsPrincEss00[/QUOTE]
    Brilliant!<div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
    Any fool can make a rule,and any fool will mind it. ~Thoreau photo specialdaygif_zpsac5730d3.gif
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gifts-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c523183-49cb-4fdb-a887-6cf19182b3adPost:54cd69be-f4ff-485c-8f1e-dc4f1434de52">Re: Bridal Shower Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you cards are soooooo old school.  I just plan on posting on my Facebook a picture of all my gifts and saying thank you!!
    Posted by TexAsPrincEss00[/QUOTE]

    <div>So brillant! But I think posting on facebook is a little impersonal.  What about taking photos of yourself with each gift, holding a thank you sign, and texting it to the person.  That seems better to me.</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gifts-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c523183-49cb-4fdb-a887-6cf19182b3adPost:54cd69be-f4ff-485c-8f1e-dc4f1434de52">Re: Bridal Shower Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you cards are soooooo old school.  I just plan on posting on my Facebook a picture of all my gifts and saying thank you!!
    Posted by TexAsPrincEss00[/QUOTE]

    All of these AEs are making my day SO much more enjoyable. I do hope they reveal their true identities at the end of the day though
    Soon-to-be Mrs. Kent
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    You can use her money to fill the winerack up wiht amazing wine :)
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    If the gift-giver chooses to give cash, they really cannot dictate what you spend it on... nor do they have to know.
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