Wedding Etiquette Forum
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One shower hostess not attending shower

To piggyback off of the post below, I recently learned that one of my shower hosts will not be attending the shower for legitimate, medical reasons. She lives across the country as well. She had originally planned on hosting with another one of FI's aunts, but now the one aunt will be live-hosting by herself and the aunt across the country who cannot attend will be "hosting in spirit". I'm not sure what she's contributing financially.

Is it appropriate for me to ask FI's mom to see whether she's contributing financially so I can determine whether to give her a gift? Should I give her a gift anyway?

Re: One shower hostess not attending shower

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    I would send her something anyway.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    I'd send flowers to arrive the day of the shower, in your wedding colors if you have them, with a nice message that you are thinking of her.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-shower-hostess-not-attending-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a4272d03-4464-44ea-8039-396f3450dd96Post:dfb05e73-8966-4279-9ecb-278c4769a4de">Re:One shower hostess not attending shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd send flowers to arrive the day of the shower, in your wedding colors if you have them, with a nice message that you are thinking of her.
    Posted by STARMOON44[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is a fantastic idea. She LOVES flowers. We sent her some as a thank you for a gift after we got engaged (she hooked my FI up with her ring-designer friend who overnighted the ring to him TWO DAYS before we left for Paris!) and she cried.</div><div>
    </div><div>Thanks, everyone!</div>
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    I'd still send her a gift.  Flowers sound very appropriate.
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