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Inviting ceremony musicians to reception

TheLordsCanaryTheLordsCanary member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I am thinking of asking the choir of the school where I am a teacher to sing a piece at my ceremony. Obviously I will make a donation to the school or whatever else the principal would like me to do as payment. However, I'm not sure what the etiquette is regarding inviting them to the reception. Should I invite them, even if they will not be performing during the reception, only at the ceremony? Does it make a difference that they know me, since they are my students? For clarity, I am a teacher but I am NOT the choir director.
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Re: Inviting ceremony musicians to reception

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    No I don't think you need to invite them to the reception.  Even though you aren't really hiring them, only making a donation they are still a vendor at your wedding and typically ceremony musicians aren't invited to the reception (unless they are a family member or close friend).

    Also, say you invite them all, who will be the one to watch all the children?  This is not a field trip, this is your wedding.

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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I think you should just scratch this idea. That's a lot of kids to coordinate, and you're not getting married during normal school hours, I'd assume since your wedding is on a Saturday in August...

    I would bet the students are under 18 as well? So you'd probably have to add in either their parents or other adult chaperones.
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  • FizzySipsFizzySips member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    What about my ceremony guitarist? He's a vendor (I have a signed contract, paying him for his time). Am I supposed to invite him and a guest also? I understand that my officiant is invited with guest. Those feel similar to me.
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  • efmcc67efmcc67 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-ceremony-musicians-to-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bf331f98-1a55-4d01-becf-0dda86f0bf87Post:cff8c3f0-f090-4a08-a56b-e8e389a5222b">Re: Inviting ceremony musicians to reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]What about my ceremony guitarist? He's a vendor (I have a signed contract, paying him for his time). Am I supposed to invite him and a guest also? I understand that my officiant is invited with guest. Those feel similar to me.
    Posted by Rachaellennon[/QUOTE]

    <div>No need to invite your ceremony musician. I'm a flutist, and I've played a lot of weddings. I've never been invited to a reception unless the B&G are friends. Musicians who play the ceremony only do not expect an invite, and would probably politely decline if one were extended.</div>
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-ceremony-musicians-to-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bf331f98-1a55-4d01-becf-0dda86f0bf87Post:cff8c3f0-f090-4a08-a56b-e8e389a5222b">Re: Inviting ceremony musicians to reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]What about my ceremony guitarist? He's a vendor (I have a signed contract, paying him for his time). Am I supposed to invite him and a guest also? I understand that my officiant is invited with guest. Those feel similar to me.
    Posted by Rachaellennon[/QUOTE]

    No you don't have to invite your guitarist.  In fact you don't have to invite your officiant (unless of course either are a close family member or friend)

    Typically vendors who are invited to weddings decline the invitation because 1) they don't know you personally so why would they want to attend your wedding reception and 2) playing at wedding ceremonies is their job and typically when a job is done they just want to go home and relax with their own family and friends.  Don't you usually just want to go home and relax after your day at work is over with?

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I did not invite any current students to my wedding. I had a friend who did, and some of them ended up drinking (there was a self-serve margarita machine), and she got some calls from parents the next week. I just think it is best to keep those lines clear.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • musicalcanadianbridemusicalcanadianbride member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    I'm a teacher AND a choir conductor and we are simply not inviting any of my students or choristers. The only exceptions are the two cousins who sing in my adult choir and my fiancé's two close friends who also sing in my adult choir. 

    I think it's best to keep a line between the personal and professional, even if it would be sweet to have the students sing. 


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