Wedding Etiquette Forum

MOB and MOG Both Wearing White

Hi all! I'm just a little bit confused. I thought it was bad ettiquette to wear white to someone else's wedding - but does that apply to the future mother-in-laws?

I spoke to my mother about what she wants to wear to my wedding and she told me she has an off-white skirt suit that she'd like to wear. I told her it might be little weird for her to wear white to my wedding but she didn't really seem all that concerned. Then, I told my FH about it and he says "Yeah, my mum is thinking of wearing white, too".

Am I being a jerk for getting a little bit annoyed, or are they a out of line? It's not really my place to be concerned with what guests are wearing - but isn't this just a bit weird?

I guess, on the bright side, it might make for some cute photo-ops with all three of us!

Have any of you had any experience with people (aside from the bride) wearing white to weddings? Is it really a big deal? Would you be annoyed? 
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Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White

  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I think it's really weird that they are both planning on wearing white, but there's not really anything you can do. Just go with it. It will look bad on their parts.
  • Would I be annoyed? Absolutely. Will people roll their eyes that they're wearing white? Probably.  Should you say anything? No. Just smile, inside roll your eyes and keep it moving. You have other things to worry about. No one will think they're the bride. 

  • I think it's weird. But you mentioned that to your mom and she doesn't care so I'd just smile and move on.




  • If they do this THEY will look all crazy pants.... BUT, don't let it steal one minute's joy from you.
  • edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:0b743d14-1d62-4e95-9780-a2f996beaaf4">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>If either mom has a sister they listen to, maybe bride or fiancé could speak to them.</strong>
    Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

    <div>No. OP, don't do this. If you bring it up to anyone other than your FI, it'll get blown out of proportion and you'll look like the crazy bride. Leave them be. </div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: Addie's mom wore her wedding dress (!?!) to her wedding. It could be worse. Picture, Addie? </div>

  • you are right, it's really weird.
    But as someone who literally posted on here a question of whether my flower girl's dress would be too similar to mine (in a moment of wedding hysteria), definitely don't sweat it.

    MOB dresses look nothing like wedding dresses.
  • ohmrs2014ohmrs2014 Dirty Jerz mod
    Moderator 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    Ok, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say since you said "mum" that your from the UK.  I thought it was acceptable across the pond for others to wear white.  That the "rules" are different across the pond than they are here.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2013
    My stepmother wore the dress she had married my father in a few months before my wedding (so yes, not only ivory, but her actual wedding dress) I never said a word.  Here is how it looked. Ideal? No. Worst thing that could happen? Also no. 

    And NYU, my STEPmom actually cares a great deal about me, as I do her. My father has been married 3 times since he and my mother divorced 35 years ago. And I'm also CRAZY about the woman he left my mother for <gasp> b/c she is an amazing woman, and I am still very close to her even though my father is not with her.





    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • True! Thanks for the support. I was just worried that I was overreacting.

    I've also mentioned on the boards (probably too many  times) that I'm having a low-key council house well and I bought a long dress for the occassion on Ebay. I'm at a crossroads, wondering if I should cut it to knee length (because I was originally looking for a short dress) or keeping it long (because it is quite lovely that way). After showing FH's mum the dress, she didn't seem to like that it's long and she's very gung-ho about me wearing it at knee-length.

    However, if they're both wear white/cream, I'm definitely keeping my dress long There's not much logic in my decision, because people will know I'm the bride anyways - but, still. I wanna. Haha.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:4b4ef6ab-cf0e-4dbc-b452-ca1d559790d7">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say since you said "mum" that your from the UK.  I thought it was acceptable across the pond for others to wear white.  That the "rules" are different across the pond than they are here.
    Posted by 50ShadesofMe[/QUOTE]

    Yep, my FH is British and I'm Canadian (we also say mum because we like to steal their words). I didn't know about about that . Maybe I shouldn't be so peeved, then!
  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Addie - the picture looks nice!


  • ohmrs2014ohmrs2014 Dirty Jerz mod
    Moderator 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:4fa37c9e-acd7-4bb2-982b-b79756d08d0c">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White : Yep, my FH is British and I'm Canadian (we also say mum because we like to steal their words). I didn't know about about that . Maybe I shouldn't be so peeved, then!
    Posted by perfectisboring[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I mean I could totally be wrong and again going out on a limb and this might not be the best reference.  But I remember when the royal wedding was taking place, everyone couldn't believe that Pippa was wearing white and I remember listening to the coverage and they were saying that in America we make the big deal about the bride being the only one to wear white, that in the UK its actually quite common for other members of the family to wear white.</div>
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  • Aww, that's a lovely photo, Addie! I was thinking we might get some really nice photos with all three of us wearing white. - And I think it's so nice how you've bonded with these women in your life. That's so important, and super sweet.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:03f559b0-3e5e-4f2d-8725-b4f48d48eb7e">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]My stepmother wore the dress she had married my father in a few months before my wedding (so yes, not only ivory, but her actual wedding dress) I never said a word.  Here is how it looked. Ideal? No. Worst thing that could happen? Also no.  And NYU, my STEPmom actually cares a great deal about me, as I do her. My father has been married 3 times since he and my mother divorced 35 years ago. And I'm also CRAZY about the woman he left my mother for <gasp /> b/c she is an amazing woman, and I am still very close to her even though my father is not with her.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:1ad2d6e0-af86-4d07-99da-5d091c06663d">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]Addie - the picture looks nice!
    Posted by mlg78[/QUOTE]
    Thank you!  I confess I was worried when I first knew it was happening, but it really turned out to be no big deal at all. <div>
    </div><div>Oh, and in case anyone notices/wonders whenever I post that pic, no, your eyes are not playing tricks on you; my dad does NOT have a right hand. He lost his arm in Vietnam. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:f017426b-025c-41c5-b4c5-281f6655186a">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White : Thank you!  I confess I was worried when I first knew it was happening, but it really turned out to be no big deal at all.  <strong>Oh, and in case anyone notices/wonders whenever I post that pic, no, your eyes are not playing tricks on you; my dad does NOT have a right hand. He lost his arm in Vietnam. </strong>
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    <div>1. I didn't notice</div><div>2. Your dad is a BAMF. I'd like to buy him a beer.</div>
    my blog - for the love of ein
    'Next time, just fart.' - BriSox81
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited April 2013

    The officiant (who is also one of our best friends) for our wedding wore an off-white dress with tiny little brown polka dots.  She put a sweater on at the last minute.  I will admit, I was a little irritated.  But, I wasn't going to throw a tantrum.  There WAS a guest that wore a strapless white silk knee length dress.  I didn't say anything to, but a mutual friend said "WTF! ARE YOU WEARING!!  You better put your damn coat on".   She wore a wool coat the rest of the day.

    You can sorta see our officiant/friend's dress in this photo.

    ETA: And plusalso, or flautist is studying to be some sort of religious (orisha?) priest and had to wear all white for a year for purification reasons. She had an all white outfit and a white cap on (you can see her lil head in my siggy photo)

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:7f7fb263-f1f8-4a8f-810a-bb96a35ee443">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White : I am pretty certain it was her STEPmom, AKA someone who may not have given a [email protected] about Addie.
    Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

    <img style="background-color:#fff;width:300px;height:225px;" class="mainImage" src="http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/16-F-1-high-five-fail-gif.gif" alt="" />
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:a3bd4c61-fbab-41a7-9c1c-26ca1619769c">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White :
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

    I love high-five fails.
    <img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-331415" src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2013/01/high10.gif" alt="high five fail" title="high five fail" />
  • kmcclelland7kmcclelland7 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:03f559b0-3e5e-4f2d-8725-b4f48d48eb7e">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]My stepmother wore the dress she had married my father in a few months before my wedding (so yes, not only ivory, but her actual wedding dress) I never said a word.  Here is how it looked. Ideal? No. Worst thing that could happen? Also no.  And NYU, my STEPmom actually cares a great deal about me, as I do her. My father has been married 3 times since he and my mother divorced 35 years ago. And I'm also CRAZY about the woman he left my mother for <gasp /> b/c she is an amazing woman, and I am still very close to her even though my father is not with her.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Addie, I love this!  I'm having my dad and stepdad (who both like each other) walk me down the aisle and I'm super excited about it.  I'm also a big fan of the woman my dad lives with now.  Nothing really to do with the thread, just wanted to share the stepparent love and I can tell you they most certainly care a lot about their stepchildren.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Anyway, OP, I'm sure it will be fine and most people will just side-eye the hell out of some white dresses.  But guess what?  You will be wearing the the best white dress of them all!</div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: Because I effed my words all up</div>
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  • RamonaFlowersRamonaFlowers member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    If people wear white to a wedding, I totally judge it. It's pretty well known that it's a faux pas (At least it is where I live), and it's such an easy color to avoid wearing anyway. I mean, really, there's HOW many colors available to wear and something in white is literally the ONLY "appropriate" thing  you own? Seriously?

    That being said, at my own wedding, if anybody wore white (According to the pictures I'm now flipping through, nobody did), I really didn't notice. I was so excited about being married and so focused on having a good time at the reception, that for the most part, what people were wearing didn't really register with me.

    ETA: I lie, there was one person whose attire I totally did notice. She was the 19-year-old "fiancée" of our 27-year-old BM, whom I totally hated, and she showed up wearing the same dress she wore to her Senior Prom the year before (It was not white). And really, I only noticed it because I hated her guts, and the majority of both of our family members actually came up to me and commented on her behavior in general that night. To be perfectly honest, I turned cartwheels when we found out that they'd broken up.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
    image

  • Seriously, NYU? Did the point change with it being mom vs. step mom? And how dare you make a rude statement about their relationship like that. 

    Addie, sorry for the slip! I second that your dad looks like a BAMF. 

  • OP, show us your dress! Did you post it before? If you did and it's what I'm thinking of iit looked amazing on you!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:d6bac36f-228a-493a-b3e3-bb6240802fbd">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP, show us your dress! Did you post it before? If you did and it's what I'm thinking of iit looked amazing on you!
    Posted by misssunshine17[/QUOTE]

    This is the dress on the woman who sold it to me. I'm much smaller in the chest (but everywhere else, the measurements were spot-on), so it's getting altered at the moment. I really did want a shorter dress originally, to make the occasion more informal, but it arrived and looked so lovely long. :)
    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/10/f41a2d40-78d4-41e9-aaf9-4f49f806a607.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/10/f41a2d40-78d4-41e9-aaf9-4f49f806a607.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a><a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/0/15/003ea0e5-6e65-4487-af94-89b70464671d.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/0/15/003ea0e5-6e65-4487-af94-89b70464671d.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:5de934e2-8bac-4477-81c6-59061096251c">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White : This is the dress on the woman who sold it to me. I'm much smaller in the chest (but everywhere else, the measurements were spot-on), so it's getting altered at the moment. I really did want a shorter dress originally, to make the occasion more informal, but it arrived and looked so lovely long. :)
    Posted by perfectisboring[/QUOTE]
    That dress is gorgeous, I love the lace!

    I admit I judge people who wear white, other than the bride, but I do think it's because it's just something we're used to knowing about. It's one of those rules I don't understand because there isn't much logic behind it, you know?
    Either way, people will question why they're wearing white and that's for them to deal with, not you.
    image
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:56de865e-3d5c-40d0-8c81-f084d41b5e2e">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]you are right, it's really weird. But as someone who literally posted on here a question of whether my flower girl's dress would be too similar to mine (in a moment of wedding hysteria), definitely don't sweat it. MOB dresses look nothing like wedding dresses.
    Posted by TheBaysideBride[/QUOTE]

    I thought most ppl wanted the FG's to resemble the bride?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:4e70645e-ba10-454d-9bb3-eb6352303d84">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White : I thought most ppl wanted the FG's to resemble the bride?
    Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

    I honestly HATE the mini-bride thing.  I had my flower girls in bright green dresses that coordinated with our wedding colors:

    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/3/34e06eb6-98ad-4091-9382-8b5671f2db7d.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/3/34e06eb6-98ad-4091-9382-8b5671f2db7d.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:4af214ca-d138-4f18-b711-3e280daa00f1">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White : I honestly HATE the mini-bride thing.  I had my flower girls in bright green dresses that coordinated with our wedding colors:  
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

    Oh my god, that's adorable! I love their dresses.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:4af214ca-d138-4f18-b711-3e280daa00f1">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White : I honestly HATE the mini-bride thing.  I had my flower girls in bright green dresses that coordinated with our wedding colors:  
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

    I think children will look cute in anything.

    Your wedding party pic is great and I love the purple you used!  The FG's were adorable in green, but I'm biased towards purple ;-)

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mob-and-mog-both-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c12d2dba-b704-418f-9727-aebdbf65fb7ePost:3f429a0d-30dd-4baf-9190-4eb55c7d1b81">Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOB and MOG Both Wearing White : I think children will look cute in anything. Your wedding party pic is great and I love the purple you used!  The FG's were adorable in green, but I'm biased towards purple ;-)
    Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

    I loved the purple too.  My partner wanted that bright green though.  That was the ONLY requirement through the whole wedding planning. We saw little green button mums one day at a florist and for MONTHS, all I heard was "I want that green in my flower and on my vest", so my partner's vest was green, so we decided to put the kids in it also and the green button mums to all of the flowers.  You have no idea how hard it was to find little boy bow ties in that color !  LOL

    but, overall, I'm really glad we did it. The bright colors were so pretty and the purple (It was David's Bridal "Sangria", so it was sort of purple/burgundy) went really great with the bright green.

    I DO think kids look cute in anything, including little white dresses. But, I really like the bride being the only one in a big white poofy dress for the day. :)
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think it was a lovely compromise :-)

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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