Speaking of Bad Etiquette...

walgrrl

I forget which of our registries it was (we have 2), but one of them actually has an option online that says, "Share your registry to facebook!"  OMG!  Do people actually do this?  That seems incredibly tacky to me.  First of all, only a fraction of my facebook friends are actually invited to the wedding.  Secondly, even if they were ALL invited, I would still never just shove my registries in people's faces like that!  I don't even mention the registries unless someone directly asks me, "Hey, where are you registered?"

Also, when I registered in the store at BBB, the lady asked me, "Do you need registry inserts to go in your invitations?"  Holy crap!  They are actually encouraging people to go against etiquette!  I felt like telling her, "You know, it's really rude to mention your registry in your invitations." but instead I said, "No thanks, I'm good."  No wonder there is so much bad etiquette out there, these places are encouraging it!  And if a bride goes into the store not knowing any better, she'll think it's OK, because they're telling her to do it.

misshart00

They encourage it because they don't care if you break etiquette as long as they get money. The lady gave me another 150 cards every time I went to add something to our registry.

BostonGIrl4732

They looked at me like I was nuts when I told them I didn't need the inserts at the store.  They got their revenge.  They sent them to me in the mail.  At least I was able to recycle them...

GoodLuckBear14

They don't care about etiquette.  They care about driving as much business as they can into their store.

Our experience at BB&B still has me fuming.  I got into an argument with the woman about those stupid cards and we wound up threatening to leave if we so much as saw her on the floor again because we did not need her telling us what we "had" to register for - and of course we would let the manager know exactly why we would be registering somewhere else.  Oh and I was actually yelling at her when I caught her for the third time adding silverware that was $500 a setting onto our registry after we had changed our minds (because "Oh people will buy it.  They want to buy as much as they can for you." ?!?!?)

misssunshine17

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_speaking-of-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2703ebb-665c-493c-b1a1-cd33b9cb2f9ePost:5c537d9e-0f3c-4ab1-8c48-356e5cfddcce">Speaking of Bad Etiquette...</a>:
[QUOTE]I forget which of our registries it was (we have 2), but one of them actually has an option online that says, "Share your registry to facebook!"  OMG!  Do people actually do this?  That seems incredibly tacky to me.  First of all, only a fraction of my facebook friends are actually invited to the wedding.  Secondly, even if they were ALL invited, I would still never just shove my registries in people's faces like that!  I don't even mention the registries unless someone directly asks me, "Hey, where are you registered?" Also, when I registered in the store at BBB, the lady asked me, "Do you need registry inserts to go in your invitations?"  Holy crap!  They are actually encouraging people to go against etiquette!  I felt like telling her, "<strong>You know, it's really rude to mention your registry in your invitations.</strong>" but instead I said, "No thanks, I'm good."  No wonder there is so much bad etiquette out there, these places are encouraging it!  And if a bride goes into the store not knowing any better, she'll think it's OK, because they're telling her to do it.
Posted by walgrrl[/QUOTE]

This is exactly how I feel when rude things are pinned on pinterest! I ALWAYS want to comment.

libby2483

Unfortunately, things like this are the reason that so many brides think it's okay to do horribly tacky things related to their registries.

misshart00

In Response to Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...:[QUOTE]Yeah, guys, my board was a fail. People are still pinning the rude pins, even after I put things like quot;only greedy, terrible people do thisquot;. Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

I followed that board and I always wait on new stuff.

harper0813

When we went to Crate and Barrel, I was really happy when I heard someone ask for registry cards to put in their invtitations, and one of the sales reps replied, "We don't distribute those."

misshart00

In Response to Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...:In Response to Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...: I followed that board and I always wait on new stuff.Posted by misshart00It's hard to find stuff because I'm just scrolling through, and it has to be a time where I have a while to sift for them. I'm finding that a lot of bad stuff isn't terribly visual. Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

Bummer. But I did see some 'awesome' shot glasses the other day that said bridesmaid, groomsmen, etc. with the wedding date. 'Would make great gifts.'

Peledreamsofrain

Yup BBB shoved them into a cutesie carebag when I wasn't looking. When I got home and looked, I was like 'wtf?' They had shoved over 100 in there!

MayberryAfterMidnight

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_speaking-of-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2703ebb-665c-493c-b1a1-cd33b9cb2f9ePost:40b4a9a0-fac7-4863-a01a-ce796c2ce59a">Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...: Bummer. But I did see some 'awesome' shot glasses the other day that said bridesmaid, groomsmen, etc. with the wedding date. 'Would make great gifts.'
Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

"Would make great donation to Goodwill the very next day."

FizzySips

Both Macy's and CnB gave us extra inserts when we attended the registry events. Straight into the recycle bin along with the propaganda about the Dream Fund.

lilphillips14

My Macy's consultant gave those to me for "shower invites" and then asked me if 50 would be enough. I had noo idea what they were. I think I've lost them by now.

s-aries8990

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_speaking-of-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2703ebb-665c-493c-b1a1-cd33b9cb2f9ePost:702d6922-c951-4de0-8d43-af3e5ef72260">Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...</a>:
[QUOTE]My Macy's consultant gave those to me for "shower invites" and then asked me if 50 would be enough. I had noo idea what they were. I think I've lost them by now.
Posted by lilphillips14[/QUOTE]

At least the Macy's lady knew to try and rope you in for a non-E-no-no

wittykitty14

I've had wonderful experiences with BB&B, but I guess it depends on which location you're at.  Our person also gave us the cards, for the SHOWER invites, not the wedding invites.  We took them, and I gave them to my MOH when I handed over the shower list.  I'm shocked that any other registries would suggest that you put them in your actual invitations.  That's wrong on so many levels.

FizzySips

Since everyone who attends your shower is also attending your wedding, don't they already know where you are registered? Even though they're not against etiquette, they don't seem particularly necessary. Am I missing something?

misshart00

In Response to Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...:[QUOTE]Since everyone who attends your shower is also attending your wedding, don't they already know where you are registered? Even though they're not against etiquette, they don't seem particularly necessary.nbsp;Am I missing something? Posted by Rachaellennon[/QUOTE]

I'm confused by what you're asking. Why would someone automatically know where you're registered just because they're invited to your wedding.

teachmegs1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_speaking-of-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2703ebb-665c-493c-b1a1-cd33b9cb2f9ePost:e4fc1364-2ee5-47fb-9ce4-5ce10dbad68f">Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...: I'm confused by what you're asking. Why would someone automatically know where you're registered just because they're invited to your wedding.
Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

I think she's saying that those who go to your shower either have those inserts in their invitation or it is written down on the invitation as to where you are registered.  So when it comes to the wedding, either by word of mouth, or because they were guests at your shower, it would be easy to know where you're registered at.  I myself have never seen someone put those inserts into a wedding invitation, so maybe she's thinking along the same lines of, "Who really does that?"

rachelm13

I received a bijillion from WS and BBB.  I think they are still buried in my desk drawer at home.  I reuse them as scraps of paper for notes when I am on the phone or a super short list for the grocery store.

SN:  One BBB lady in particular is quite pushy and I went in to change my bedding choice before my shower (long story), and she insisted bringing me around and show me ALLLLLL of the different bed linens and then repeatedly asked me why I didn't register for flatware or china.  I finally turned to her and said something along the lines of "That's a personal question."  Basically EFF OFF.  I have gone in since then and she steers clear of me.

AJuliaNJ

The BBB salespeople were the pushiest. There must have been some special goal that month related to china. We didn't have a lot of time that night; we just wanted to get it started and work on it later online. About 4 different people came to talk to us about china. Then, this one woman followed up all over the store. It was so much more fun registering at Crate and Barrel and Pottery Barn. They just left us alone.

FizzySips

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_speaking-of-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2703ebb-665c-493c-b1a1-cd33b9cb2f9ePost:81a85456-8c08-4292-bb5d-4338e2a2755a">Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Speaking of Bad Etiquette... : I think she's saying that those who go to your shower either have those inserts in their invitation or it is written down on the invitation as to where you are registered.  So when it comes to the wedding, either by word of mouth, or because they were guests at your shower, it would be easy to know where you're registered at.  I myself have never seen someone put those inserts into a wedding invitation, so maybe she's thinking along the same lines of, "Who really does that?"
Posted by teachmegs1[/QUOTE]

Yeah. I was more musing aloud about who really needs the inserts in any case, since registry information is both passed by word of mouth and available on my wedding website. I know why the stores push them, but why don't more people push back about taking them? 

The horror stories about BBB salespeople make me quite glad that we skipped a registry there!  

MuppetFan

Wait, is there a problem with putting them into shower invites?

I don't think I've ever rec'd a shower invite that didn't have registry information on it.  I just always assumed that's what these were for

Cackle6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_speaking-of-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2703ebb-665c-493c-b1a1-cd33b9cb2f9ePost:5b5eb875-d38a-4955-9050-768b927071ac">Re: Speaking of Bad Etiquette...</a>:
[QUOTE]I've had wonderful experiences with BB&B, but I guess it depends on which location you're at.  Our person also gave us the cards, for the SHOWER invites, not the wedding invites.  We took them, and I gave them to my MOH when I handed over the shower list.  I'm shocked that any other registries would suggest that you put them in your actual invitations.  That's wrong on so many levels.
Posted by wittykitty14[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto this. We had a wonderful experience at BBB, and an awful experience at Macy's. It really does depend on the location, which is too bad. I actually ended up going to a different Macy's location to return some stuff, and the consultants there were great. The consultants at the Macy's we registered at clearly hated their jobs. I wish everyone could have the consultant we had at BBB, she was great!</div>

Cackle6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_speaking-of-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2703ebb-665c-493c-b1a1-cd33b9cb2f9ePost:17ae67ea-1ae3-406a-bbeb-b35361c27870">Re: Speaking of Bad Etiquette...</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a great experience at BBB, but they did sneak registry cards into our bag after we said no thank you.   You guys are nicer than me because I noticed them when we got to the car, walked back inside back to the little registry office area, said loudly "I said we don't need these.  You should save them for another bride", <strong>then dropped them on the floor from shoulder height and left.  </strong>
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>Stage, I usually agree with most of your posts, but that was just childish and rude. Yes, they should have respected your wishes and not given you the cards, but you could have just set them on the desk and been the bigger person.</div>

FizzySips

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_speaking-of-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2703ebb-665c-493c-b1a1-cd33b9cb2f9ePost:2bc63918-96af-44e9-92d2-027c6e34200f">Re: Speaking of Bad Etiquette...</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait, is there a problem with putting them into shower invites? I don't think I've ever rec'd a shower invite that didn't have registry information on it.  I just always assumed that's what these were for
Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

Not a problem, etiquette wise, just seems redundant to me.