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Funraising at the wedding

I am an animal rescuer and part of the theme to our wedding is animal abuse awareness and adopting shelter pets. I also raise money for animal rescues and no kill shelters!

Would it be considered tacky to do a split the pot or some other kind of give away to raise money?  My friends and family know I'm a rescuer and that I give a lot to save animals so I doubt anyone would be surprised or think it was weird!

My feelings if I saw this at a wedding for cancer or something I would give a $1 or $2 and think it was nice! 

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Re: Funraising at the wedding

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    You might be able, by word of mouth, to suggest that your guests donate to your favorite charity instead of wedding gifts, but if this is not your intent, it's pretty tacky. I'd be put off, or felt like I was being passed the offering plate at church. 

    Plus, I don't bring my purse into weddings. I might leave it in the car, but I wouldn't even have cash on me if you asked. You can also make a donation and let your guests know that you did it in their honor.
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    misshart00misshart00 member
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    edited April 2013
    It's suggested that you don't do this because, while you're intentions may be good, it looks like you're just flaunting the good you do for the community. Also, some people don't agree with whatever shelter you're giving to. Please keep your wedding separate from this. There's no point in making people uncomfortable when they're there to celebrate your marriage with you. Also, I disagree with PP about making a donation in a guests name for the same reasons above. Plus, it's not really for the guest. It's for you.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_funraising-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8a36229-fee2-474b-aab9-617f34606527Post:4dfd4205-6a07-4ea7-a5c6-7320c3b6324a">Funraising at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am an animal rescuer and part of the theme to our wedding is animal abuse awareness and adopting shelter pets. I also raise money for animal rescues and no kill shelters! Would it be considered tacky to do a split the pot or some other kind of give away to raise money?  My friends and family know I'm a rescuer and that I give a lot to save animals so I doubt anyone would be surprised or think it was weird! My feelings if I saw this at a wedding for cancer or something I would give a $1 or $2 and think it was nice! 
    Posted by kelliearany[/QUOTE]

    There are no words to describe jsut how wrong this is
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    itzMSitzMS member
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    If your shelter is in need of money, why not arrange for a charity walk/5K? An actual fundraising event separate from your wedding that your community, friends, and family could attend if they choose to.

    A wedding is about you and FI commiting to each other for life. Not about your job.

    I could use some new post-it notes and pens for my office job. Should I have passed a hat at my wedding to fundraise so I could buy them? No.

    If you and FI want to donate the monetary gifts you receive at your wedding, do so in private on your own time.
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    This is a wedding, not a fundraising event.  If you want to raise funds for the charities you support then why not elope and use the money you are spending on your wedding to throw a charity/fundraiser.

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    I had heard of a couple of people donating 'in guests honor' here on the E board, but misshart is right - it still comes across as tacky. My bad.
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    Your wedding isn't a fundraiser.

    You can make a donation in celebration of your nuptuals. If you want to forgo favors and just write that you did that on a discreet sign, that makes sense.

    If you want to organize a bake sale or a poker night for animals, do it on another day.
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    I think you should organize a DIFFERENT event for fundraising. You will be able to 1) raise more money for the charity 2) invite more people because this isn't like a fully hosted party 3) spend LESS of your own money 4) not look tacky and 5) include the extended community.
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    What is the other theme of your wedding?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_funraising-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8a36229-fee2-474b-aab9-617f34606527Post:24919d6f-0757-4ed4-9b9d-76f54987855c">Re:Funraising at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, it is tacky. It is also ineffective and makes your marriage seem like it is taking a back seat to the cause. "Awareness" should never be a wedding theme,<strong> and guests should never be asked to open their wallets, especially for a cause they may well oppose.
    </strong>Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    they don't even have to oppose it.  I happen to be someone who believes that we need to take care of people first.  Nothing wrong with animal charities, they are just something I will never donate to.
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_funraising-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8a36229-fee2-474b-aab9-617f34606527Post:6f0542e9-abb4-4a6f-9f35-add3dfe34568">Re: Funraising at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]What is the other theme of your wedding?
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    White tie, duh. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

    J/k...I'm curious to know what theme the OPs wedding will be.
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    no, no, no.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_funraising-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8a36229-fee2-474b-aab9-617f34606527Post:343186b1-8326-4834-ad53-bd025f3591d2">Re: Funraising at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I read the poll wrong (as "is it a good idea to fundraise") and answered no.  I meant to answer yes, it's tacky to fundraise. I don't know how to read today. Don't use your wedding as a fundraiser.
    Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]
    I did the same thing and then was all <em>WTF? All these people voted yes?!  </em>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    I think it's great that you are soo passionate about rescuing animals and that's clearly you and your husband's thing, but keep in mind that not everyone is as passionate abou the same issues. If I'm invited to a wedding, I want to celebrate the couple guilt free of political or social awareness support. I always feel uncomfortable when I'm around certain friends and I can't just have a normal conversation with them without them bringing up how they could use more business, votes etc. thankfully, I can only think of maybe 3 or 4 people like this and it's usually about church missionary projects.

    Instead what you could do to show your guests that this is something that's a big part of your life is maybe include some photos of you, and fi involved in your work as part of the slideshow. Like photos of you with animals, that way it's not intrusive, you are sharing a part of your life that's meaningful to you and nobody has to feel obligated to contribute toward your cause, and they can just celebrate you and fi.
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    I don't know, I kind of side-eye the statement that your "theme" is animal rescue. I mean I love my pets and I am a certified vet assistant, but I wouldnt make animal rescue my wedding theme....
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    If this is something you feel so stongly about it, make a private donation or donate the monetary gifts you get, but don't advertsie it.
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    This ia a wedding.

    If you want a fundraiser, then host a fundraiser. 

    But, a wedding is not and should never be treated as a fund raiser.

    Do you know anything about being an apprpriate host?  This is not appropriate.
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    The more I think about this, the more I imagine a huge fundraising event that you just happen to be getting married at. That's the only way I can think to make it your 'theme.'
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_funraising-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8a36229-fee2-474b-aab9-617f34606527Post:1a959dec-40f8-4b3e-8119-8a09e44222a1">Re: Funraising at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Funraising at the wedding : I did the same thing and then was all WTF? All these people voted yes?!  
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    Wow I was trying to figure out whether people were voting no to screw with her...but this makes more sense.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    I completely agree that fundraisers and weddings should be totally separate.  If you want to raise money for the rescue shelter then do a separate fundraiser.  It will likely yield more and be better received.

    BTW - thanks for your work rescuing furbabies.  We are a cat only family as I am allergic to dogs and all of our babies come from shelters or PetSmart.  As much as I would love to have a baby girl Persian, we will stick to gray stripey tigers (I am allergic to some other cats) and call it good.

    You could also forego any favors and use that money for a donation.  It should be a private donation from  you and FI and shouldn't be mentioned at your wedding.

    Good luck.
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    Oops, I read the poll wrong too. I voted "no" but I actually meant "yes". 


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    LisaA2014LisaA2014 member
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    edited April 2013
    It's actually illegal for anyone to hold a 50/50(I assume that's what a split the pot is) unless it's held by a registered non profit. It's considered gambling and you must have a gambling permit.
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    I think trying to mix the two events does a disservice to both.  I

    It will backseat your wedding and possibly make your guests uncomfortable if they don't have money to donate, or didn't bring their purses.

    As for the animal interest, it is not served well because it will raise very very little money, nor reach an effective audience.  As stated above, people will not come prepared to donate, and the sum will be very small.  Also, you are not raising awareness because everyone there already knows your passion.

    Seperate events would be more effective for both.
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    1.  From your title line I was excited thinking that we would be brainstorming ways to "funraise" your wedding. . . . making it more fun.  I was prepared to suggest lots of dancing.

    2.  I also want to know what your other theme(s) might be.

    3.  You indicate that you would donate at a "wedding for cancer."  Have you actually been to fundraising weddings before?  Is this a new disturbing trend we weren't aware of?

    4. While it is nice of you to offer to "split the pot" I feel it's a bit presumptious to assume that people will give you monetary gifts to provide you with a pot for splitting.

    5.  If you are so interested in charitable work with animals, that's great.  Feel free to volunteer and donate on your own time, don't force your friends who think they are coming to celebrate your marriage to do so on your behalf.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_funraising-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8a36229-fee2-474b-aab9-617f34606527Post:440af501-eeb7-4dfc-91c8-8afcefef2e97">Re: Funraising at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you should organize a DIFFERENT event for fundraising. You will be able to 1) raise more money for the charity 2) invite more people because this isn't like a fully hosted party 3) spend LESS of your own money 4) not look tacky and 5) include the extended community.
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

    <div>100% this. </div>
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    Dear fluffernut, NO.  This is not in any way appropriate.  Your wedding is not a fundraiser.  You want to raise money for your organization?  Host an actual fundraiser.



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    If you want to donate to the charity use your own money. I'm sure several our your guests will give you money as a gift. You can use gifted money to donate.

    I agree with PP's that the theme of your wedding should really be marraige rather than awareness. But I wouldn't side eye incorporating pictures of adoptable animals into the decor. If someone comment to you that a particular dog or cat was cute. You could tell them that said animal was up for aboption. But that's really as far as I would take it.
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    I agree with PP's that the theme of your wedding should really be marraige rather than awareness. But I wouldn't side eye incorporating pictures of adoptable animals into the decor. If someone comment to you that a particular dog or cat was cute. You could tell them that said animal was up for aboption. But that's really as far as I would take it.


    THIS!
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    I love my kittycat more than life itself, and I would find it off-putting to go to a wedding where they were fundraising for animal awareness.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_funraising-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8a36229-fee2-474b-aab9-617f34606527Post:1a959dec-40f8-4b3e-8119-8a09e44222a1">Re: Funraising at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Funraising at the wedding : I did the same thing and then was all WTF? All these people voted yes?!  
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    <div>Gaaah I did this too!  At least we know where the "Yes" votes came from.</div>
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