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Couple/Co-ed Shower?

My cousin is throwing a co-ed shower/BBQ for FI and me. I have a few Q's: 

1. Any suggestions for what to call it on the invitation? I feel like "shower" is a turn-off for the guys...

2. How closely should we stick to couples for the guest list? So far it's cousins, siblings and close friends, who all happen to have SO's. FI has one cousin though, that doesn't. We should invite him anyway, right? I just don't want him to feel like the odd one out. 
Same with the wedding party, some don't have SO's. Is that going to be weird for them or is it just me over-thinking it? Should I offer them the option of a date, or is that even more weird? Lol. Pretty lost on this one.

3. Cousin/hostess is trying to decide if there should be a  specific theme for gifts or just put the registry on the invite. Whichever one would make it easier on the guests is preferred, obviously. But I've heard it go both ways. Has anyone ever enjoyed themed gifts, or does it seem gift grabby/controlling or something?

Hoping I'm not breaking any etiquette rules here, haha. If I am, please let me know! I'm not planning it for myself, these are things the hostess asked me and I'm trying to be as helpful as possible. 

TIA!

Re: Couple/Co-ed Shower?

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    kmbryant2413kmbryant2413 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2013
    1. Call it a luncheon? Party? Get-together? I don't think guys will be turned off by 'shower'.

    2. Please invite your single guests if you'd like them there, and keep in mind that anyone invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding.

    3. Please don't do a theme, unless it's something like a recipe shower where people bring their favorite recipe for you to have and put together in lieu of gifts. They usually don't come out well. 

    Good luck! Good on you for asking questions to see what's appropriate :)

    ETA: Also, if you are going to post the same question on multiple boards, try and put an XP in the title for 'cross post' so we'll know where it came from :)
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    I agree with PP but just wanted to add that if you're putting registry info on the invitations, I think it should still be called a shower.
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    We had a couples shower and called it such. All of fiance's guy friends came and where not "afraid" of the name. If you don't call it a shower the expectation for gifts drops.

    We did not invite only "couples". We (well the host) invited guests regardless of the relationship status because they were nearest and dearest to us. There where probably 10 single guys there.

    We picked invitations that were not overly feminine. I think it helped to set the "fun" co-ed tone.
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    In Response to Re:Couple/Coed Shower?:[QUOTE]My cousin is throwing a coed shower/BBQ for FI and me. I have a few Q's:nbsp;1. Any suggestions for what to call it on the invitation? I feel like "shower" is a turnoff for the guys...2. How closely should we stick to couples for the guest list? So far it's cousins, siblings and close friends, who all happen to have SO's. FI has one cousin though, that doesn't. We should invite him anyway, right? I just don't want him to feel like the odd one out.nbsp;Same with the wedding party, some don't have SO's. Is that going to be weird for them or is it just me overthinking it? Should I offer them the option of a date, or is that even more weird? Lol. Pretty lost on this one.3. Cousin/hostess is trying to decide if there should be a nbsp;specific theme for gifts or just put the registry on the invite. Whichever one would make it easier on the guests is preferred, obviously. But I've heard it go both ways. Has anyone ever enjoyed themed gifts, or does it seem gift grabby/controlling or something?Hoping I'm not breaking any etiquette rules here, haha. If I am, please let me know! I'm not planning it for myself, these are things the hostess asked me and I'm trying to be as helpful as possible.nbsp;TIA! Posted by AngelaReneeClaire[/QUOTE]

    1 If it's a shower, just call it was it is. If a guy doesn't want to attend, that's on him.

    2 Would you be okay if someone left you off a party list because you were single or fianc was out of town that day? If you want couples, offer them the chance to bring a date. There's a bride on here whose husband died and her friends went out of their way to not invite her places. So cruel.

    3 I don't personally like themed gifts.
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