rehearsal dinner yay or nay?

ridedatbike

Hey guys I was just wondering if you guys would side eye a rehearsal with no dinner hosted? I think we should host the people who come out to rehearse but alas were having a few budget issues. It was suggested we go without the rehearsal dinner I wanna make sure if we city corners its not on ettiquette.

misshart00

You can skip the dinner if there's no rehearsal. If you have the rehearsal, you need to host them somehow.

STARMOON44

Yes I would majorly sideeye it, especially if you planned to go out after and not host. You probably don't even need a rehersal, and the dinner can be a picnic in the park or at your local pizza place. ETA: nothing wrong with brunch or lunch etc, but you need to offer them time of day appropriate hospitality.

zizibet

Big sideeye. Skip the rehearsal, or do something cheap like pizza instead. The dinner is a thank you for people taking time out to rehearse with you.

Sierra524

I agree with PPs. You can skip the rehersal or offer them something. What about a cookout at someones house? You could do pizzas and wings if you want. Or do it at lunch time and serve deli sandwhiches.

AddieCake

If you have a rehearsal, it would be impolite not to host some kind of refreshments afterward.

Wheels987

One of my favorite rehearsal dinners was a bbq after the rehearsal at the groom's house. It was so much fun and low key. Any way you could do something like that?

SomethingBeautiful08

If you rehurse, I think there should be a hosted meal of some sort.  How many people are you talking about?  If it is few enough to be able to host in a home you could do something easy and cheap like pasta and salad.  Pizza is always a good option.  Recently for a church function I fed almost 50 people for about $120.  It was super cheap pizza, lemonaide from powder and finger veggies... not the best meal in the world, but it served the purpose.  In this case something is better then nothing.

libby2483

Like PPs have said, it is okay to skip the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner completely.  However, if you have a rehearsal, you absolutely need to host a rehearsal dinner.

Rehearsal dinners do not need to be fancy or even held at restaurants.  You could do BBQ or pizza at your house.  Italian and Mexican foods are also often less expensive options.

[Deleted User]

Everyone is right. You need to have something if you are rehearsing. Either skip the rehearsal or do something on the cheap. Pizzas and beer in someone's backyard is a wonderful idea and low cost. I wish we could have done it but it's far too cold in NJ in April for an outdoor only party.

jaenella

Agree with PPs! We are doing a BBQ at our house - cheap, easy, and since I'm totally paranoid about food poisoning, it lets me buy, store and cook it ourselves!

ridedatbike

OMG thank you! Lol I keep telling my parents and his parents because they keep saying "well why are you wasting money on that" and im like because if we don't its rude! Im glad I wasn't making a big deal out of nothing thanks guys.

Lizzieyounce

You really do need to host something if you are having a rehearsal.  For ours we had everyone over to the house and served heavy apps and a gumbo (very inexpensive to make and it feeds tons of people).  We had a case of beer and some inexpensive wine, sodas and tea.

We got the apps from Sam's along with the wine and beer. 

 Gumbo is only a suggestion, a big pot of spagetti and meat sauge, or a stew or whatever you fancy.  The entire evening cost us about $200.  That was for 50ish people, so if your group is smaller, it will cost less.  Everyone had fun and it was nice to be able to relax and spend time with our friends because we knew that we would be busy the next day.

ridedatbike

In Response to Re:rehearsal dinner yay or nay?:[QUOTE]You really do need to host something if you are having a rehearsal. nbsp;For ours we had everyone over to the house and served heavy apps and a gumbo very inexpensive to make and it feeds tons of people. nbsp;We had a case of beer and some inexpensive wine, sodas and tea.We got the apps from Sam's along with the wine and beer.nbsp;nbsp;Gumbo is only a suggestion, a big pot of spagetti and meat sauge, or a stew or whatever you fancy. nbsp;The entire evening cost us about 200. nbsp;That was for 50ish people, so if your group is smaller, it will cost less. nbsp;Everyone had fun and it was nice to be able to relax and spend time with our friends because we knew that we would be busy the next day. Posted by Lizzieyounce[/QUOTE]

I've been suggesting like heavy appetizers and BBQ style food. No alcohol. And I would just have to make something vegan atleast for myself. I just want something hosted.

[Deleted User]

We are having our RD at our house. We are getting catering from qdoba for a couple hundred.

Simply Fated

In Response to Re:rehearsal dinner yay or nay?:[QUOTE]OMG thank you! Lol I keep telling my parents and his parents because they keep saying "well why are you wasting money on that" and im like because if we don't its rude! Im glad I wasn't making a big deal out of nothing thanks guys. Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]
They're aware the word DINNER is in the title "rehearsal dinner," right? Or are they telling you to not have a rehearsal at all?

I think it's fine to either skip the whole rehearsal. Or just to host something that is on the less expensive scale. Pizza, gumbo, what ever.

MuppetFan

We're going to do a combo of catering platters and homemade things at one of my BMs houses. She lives down the street from the venue and has a fancier house than my parent's'. Simple...and it allows me to accomodate close family and out of town guests as well and provide alcohol for them. Should cost a few hundred total.

Kristin789

Typically, the groom's family hosts the RD.  It's the only thing the groom's parents get to host.  It's a red flag that your FI's parents not only don't want to host it, they are making fun of the entire concept.  That would be a huge red flag for me.

wittykitty14

Our budget is tight as well.  Our RD is a cookout, like other PPs have suggested.  Burgers, Hotdogs, Potato Salad, aww yeah.  That's my kind of party, so I'm really excited for it!  The RD doesn't have to be anything fancy.  I wanted a laid-back dinner because knowing me, I'll be stressed out and nervous that day, and it'll be a good way to help me relax!  Do whatever suits your budget and your style.  It'll be wonderful! 

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-yay-or-nay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:eb131970-4436-48bb-8094-a8bc05ceef76Post:f802f8a8-e2fd-4a34-9ed6-b7821d42ac16">Re: rehearsal dinner yay or nay?</a>:
[QUOTE]     I honestly wouldn't care if there was no dinner... There wasn't a dinner after the rehersal when I was a flower girl when I was 12.  If my FILs weren't hosting a dinner we would probably just do cookies, cake, and drinks after the rehersal.  I mean if I  was a Bm and I got really hungry after walking for 30 mins I can go get subway. I don't want someone to break the bank just to feed me for being there are 30 mins, 
Posted by ans3f[/QUOTE]<div>
<div>You might not have cared, but other people will care. It's best to stick to giving correct etiquette advice on the etiquette board and it's incredibly inconsiderate and rude to ask people to drop everything to come to your rehearsal and then do nothing to properly thank them afterwards. </div></div><div>
</div><div>Cookies, cake, drinks, etc. is actually fine as long as the rehearsal is not held during meal time. But if you're rehearsing at 5:30 in the evening....you have to serve dinner foods.  Doesn't have to be fancy!</div>

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-yay-or-nay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:eb131970-4436-48bb-8094-a8bc05ceef76Post:b5afd7d8-88de-4f69-9af1-d0f8a78d8bb9">Re: rehearsal dinner yay or nay?</a>:
[QUOTE]Typically, the groom's family hosts the RD.  It's the only thing the groom's parents get to host.  It's a red flag that your FI's parents not only don't want to host it, they are making fun of the entire concept.  That would be a huge red flag for me.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

Once again, Kristen has a major reading comprehension FAIL.

Also, what's the huge red flag? Are you saying she should call off the wedding and end the relationship entirely because her FI's parents think a rehearsal dinner is a waste of money?

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-yay-or-nay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:eb131970-4436-48bb-8094-a8bc05ceef76Post:b5afd7d8-88de-4f69-9af1-d0f8a78d8bb9">Re: rehearsal dinner yay or nay?</a>:
[QUOTE]Typically, the groom's family hosts the RD.  <strong>It's the only thing the groom's parents get to </strong>host.  It's a red flag that your FI's parents not only don't want to host it, they are making fun of the entire concept.  That would be a huge red flag for me.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

That's not true. Tradtionally yes the groom's family hosts the RD but they CAN host anything else they want.