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July 2011 Weddings

Morning Entertainment for you..."TP" Style

Except that this isn't about TP.  And I will probably delete this later so please don't quote!

It's about NSIL, who I will now refer to as PSIL because she has taken a page from TPs playbook and I just can't call her normal anymore. 

Got an email last night.  Subject line: "BabyQ Potential Dates/Help"

It was addressed to the "Aunties and Grammies", which was kind of funny since DH also received the email.

The gist of the email - They're throwing themselves a Jack and Jill Baby Shower BBQ at their house.  "People would bring gifts from the registry but we're unsure if we will open them with everyone here or after they leave - we don't want to bore people."

She gave two dates - one of them we'll be in Boston at a concert that we've spent a LOT of money on.  Not changing that.  The other date we're out of town the night before but we'll be back in town that day.

And then...

wait for it...

wait for it...



And then she asked for help.  Yes, she wants everyone's help to throw themselves a baby shower.  I'm guessing she'll want everyone else to take care of food, invitations, decorations, etc.  She and TP are very related after all!

She's getting an email sometime this weekend that is going to be very blunt and honest.  I won't tell her how rude it is to throw your own party, but I do plan to tell her how this makes me feel.  I really thought her knowing would make her a little more sensitive, but I was wrong.
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Re: Morning Entertainment for you..."TP" Style

  • edited May 2013
    I'm sorry, Holly... man, what a mess those girls are! Doesn't it just break your heart a little when the ones you thought you knew and could trust to have your back and not go off the deep end let you down? I'm sorry she's being insensitive along with, like you said, just plain princessy!! Couldn't she have just waited till someone threw her a shower? Wouldn't her family have done that at some point? ... What does DH have to say about it?
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  • hcorr34hcorr34
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Oh, she and TP have vocalized how much they HATE traditional showers, yet they still want gifts so they throw a BBQ instead.  

    He doesn't say much about it.  As a guy, he doesn't really understand shower etiquette.  I do know he told her that if they go with the 27th that we won't be there.

    I hope they go with the 27th.

    Then, the spiteful vindictive side of me starts thinking, well, maybe I'll get pregnant soon and just announce it at their party.  Their pregnancy has already taken over MY birthday and Easter, wouldn't it be fitting for me to get pregnant and take over their special day?

    But then I remember I have to be the bigger person in this situation. 
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  • HUGS Holly!!! Although I'm going to say this...I'm not totally surprised by her acting this way after the way she was at Easter with not including you in stuff. I'm sorry she is being this way.

    Confession: I almost threw my own Baby shower. I was worried that my family wouldn't/couldn't get their sh*t together and their focus off my parents situation to do anything for me. And when I started to do some of the planning my friends stepped in and took over and then my mom & sisters did end up helping A LOT but not until I sent an email out about what I was planning to do and then they stepped in and said "You can pick the date but you can't plan it!!". Do you think that there could be something like that going on in her head? Is she afraid that MIL or TP wouldn't do anything for her on their own???
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  • I don't know how you do it. It would be so hard for me to keep my mouth shut. It's just absolutely crazy. I definitely hope you send the email and tell her about your feelings.
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  • hcorr34hcorr34
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    She's talked about doing this all along. Her words on Easter: "We want the gifts but we want to do it our way."

    I just didn't think she'd have the nerve to ask for help.  If I throw myself a little graduation celebration this summer, I'm surely not going to ask others to do anything but show up and celebrate with me!

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  • Can I please have the email addresses of these bitoches?!  Because I feel like they need to be absolutely bitched out and I am in just the mood to do it!!

    Seriously though, I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this.  Sending you major hugs!  They just suck!

    I threw myself my own 25th birthday party but I certainly didn't ask anyone to do a thing except come celebrate.  I specifically asked for no gifts and it was more of a big summer get together with everyone than anything else.
    Married July 2011; TTC since April 2011
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  • In Response to Re: Morning Entertainment for you..."TP" Style:
    [QUOTE]I don't know how you do it. It would be so hard for me to keep my mouth shut. It's just absolutely crazy. I definitely hope you send the email and tell her about your feelings.
    Posted by kasabby[/QUOTE]


    I'm so sorry Holly! And whether it's vindictive or not, I hope you do get pregnant soon and that you are able to announce at their shower... give them a taste of their own medicine!

    TTC #1 since January 2013

    My Ovulation Chart

  • Ugh Holly, I'm so sorry. Like Katie said, it's terrible that you thought you could at least trust her not to act like that, but apparently you can't. I know it's a sensitive issue right now, and I hate that you keep having to deal with crap like this. I wish DH would stand up to them on your behalf.
  • hcorr34hcorr34
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    My plan is to talk to DH about it tonight and tell him that if he isn't going to say anything and be honest with her about how this is making me feel, I will take care of it myself.  

    I have to bring up Mothers Day with him tonight anyways.  I do NOT have the strength right now to have Mothers Day become a repeat of Easter and our birthdays.  I do not want to spend the day listening to everyone ohhhh and ahhhhh about how this is her last Mothers Day that she won't be a mother, and then yet again reminisce about stuff that happened when they were little.  Even though my mom would be there too, she'll just ohhhh and ahhhh because she wants a grandchild and it'll be the next best thing to focus on that day.  I'm really considering going to NH to see my mom instead, with or without DH.  If he doesn't want to go and just do something with his mother later on Sunday, than he can stay here.
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  • edited May 2013
    (Sorry, realized you asked not to quote!)

    Re: your alternate plans for Mother's Day--
    I think that sounds like a fantastic plan. I'm sorry she's gone off the deep end, too. Definitely talk to H and if he's not going to do it, a blunt email is definitely appropriate.
  • What a b*tch.  I want to punch her in the face for you.  I just can't even imagine having to deal with these people.  Besides the fact that she's totally insensitive to your situation, she is just ridiculously selfish to throw her own shower and then not even try to hide the fact that she just wants gifts and doesn't care about opening in front of people (whole point of a shower.)  I think your dh should tell her what she's doing is wrong.  If he doesn't then you should tell her how this makes you feel.  I think your plans for mother's day sound good.  You need a break from the crazy.  
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