Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Did I make a faux pas?

My invitations went out about a week ago.  One of my cousins (whom I'm not close to and don't talk to very often) is significantly older than me and she has teenage children.  I invited the children on the same invitation with my cousin and her husband and did not give the kids plus ones.  I have since come to find out that one of her kids turned 18 in between when I made the guest list and the time the invitations went out.  She is still in high school though.  Should the daughter have gotten her own invitation and a plus one?  It's too late to do anything about the inviation, but should I call my cousin and tell her that her daughter can bring a date?
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Re: Did I make a faux pas?

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    tlc35tlc35 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2013
    I think you're fine. The general cut off for getting one's own invite is 18, but since she just turned 18 and is still in high school I wouldn't stress over it. Eta grammar
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    I think you are fine.  I agree with PP.  If she is in a relationship, it might be nice to give her a plus one if you can accommodate an additional guest.  We gave all of my teenage cousins dates (they are all either 18 or almost 18) but I don't think you are required to unless they are 18 and are a couple.

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    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

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    Technically an 18-year-old would get her own invitation, but I've never personally known any high school seniors living at home who would be offended to not receive their own invitation.
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    Yes, she should have gotten her own invitation, but it's not like she's been 18 for like 8 months or something. No big deal. And you don't have to give her a +1 if you don't want to. If she has a boyfriend, however, you should let him come. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    I agree with PPs. I think you're fine. Technically anyone >18 gets his/her own invite but (a) you didn't know that she had turned 18; (b) she's still in high school; and (c) she's still living at home. If you are giving other single guests a +1, it would be nice to extend it to her, too, but I don't think you have to. She'll be coming with her parents and siblings, so it's not like she won't know anyone there. 
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    In Response to Did I make a faux pas?:
    [QUOTE]My invitations went out about a week ago.  One of my cousins (whom I'm not close to and don't talk to very often) is significantly older than me and she has teenage children.  I invited the children on the same invitation with my cousin and her husband and did not give the kids plus ones.  I have since come to find out that one of her kids turned 18 in between when I made the guest list and the time the invitations went out.  She is still in high school though.  Should the daughter have gotten her own invitation and a plus one?  It's too late to do anything about the inviation, but should I call my cousin and tell her that her daughter can bring a date?
    Posted by walgrrl[/QUOTE]

    I think you are fine. She is in high school, so you are good
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    Don't worry about it - not only is it not your fault that you didn't know she had turned 18, but seriously, what 18 year old (who's not married or planning her a wedding) knows enough wedding etiquette that she would even know she should have expected her own invitation? I was still included on my parents' invite to my cousin's wedding when I was 22 and at grad school in another state, and I never thought twice about it.
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    edited May 2013
    Ummmm retread I thought that everyone with a sig other gets a plus one even if its not a ltr. What feels like a ltr to you is probably different for another person. Op don't sweat it just let her know she can bring her bf if she has one. I don't think she will think twice about not getting a separate invite. And when it comes time for her to plan her wedding, she prob wont remember.
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    My younger sister, a senior in high school, has a long term boyfriend she has been dating nearly four years.  How on earth could you say matter of factly that someone in high school will NOT be in one? 

    I hate that jerk but I would never hurt her feelings by telling her she couldn't bring him.
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    Previously Alaynajuliana


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    I know the etiquette is technically 18+=own invitation, but really: 
    1. She's in high school. I think high school should for sure be exempt from this rule;
    2. She lives at home. I get it; kids live at home for a long time these days. But she's really only barely an adult;
    3. Even if she didn't live at home (i.e. lived in a dorm), she doesn't seem to know this cousin well enough for it to be a major issue. If a random cousin I barely knew sent my parents an invite with my name on it, I wouldn't be insulted. Heck, I would never really be insulted to get an invitation, but that's not really my point here; 
    4. I don't think the rule is as widely known as it is here on TK, because I've rarely seen more than one invitation go to one household. Yes, I've done it, but rarely. 

    Point is, no, this is nothing to freak about. If she has a BF, you should invite him.
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