Dear Prudence,
I'm a divorced mother of three college kids. While I was raising them alone I had no time or money for vacations, home improvements, dates, or my own education. But with them all in college, I returned to school to get my degree and reconnected with my high school sweetheart. I’m in love like never before. He lives out of state but will be moving in with me soon. I want time to bond with him without having the kids around. My house is small and having three young adults around will mean no privacy. Two of my kids have apartments at college, and one son with Asperger’s is home taking a semester off. Their father lives nearby but was neglectful and is a selfish jerk with a personality disorder and a second wife and kids. I told my children in January that my fiancé would be moving in and my daughter said she planned to go to summer school and stay in her college apartment. My other son said he had a job and apartment lined up. Now my daughter’s decided she’d rather come home and my son wants to come on weekends because his job is in a boring town. I'm considering barring them from returning home and telling them to just suck it up and grow up. Will it cause permanent damage to our relationship if I tell them to stay with their father or only come one weekend a month? I’ve worked as a secretary and also cared for my elderly mother. Isn't it my time to be happy?